Anyone else graduated college directionless and with no social network?

[Anonymous]

Getting rx meds from a street dealer is a great way to overdose/die. Please stop if you have not.

[Anonymous]

Teaching or becoming swimming instructor are indeed good options to get you out from the basement and join society. Once you are in a better emotional space, you'll find it easier to figure out future plans.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you drink? Your story sounds like ones you hear in AA meetings. I’d gently suggest checking one out to see if that’s for you. They help people turn their lives around and focus more on others.

[Anonymous]

You do sound like you are sucking joy out of the air change your attitude you sound like you’re still in high school in a Disney style movie of friends and relationships. Life is hard and you need to start working and moving on. You sound very privileged and ungrateful - do you have student loans or did parents pay for you? I was a highschool and college kid with no friends because I worked crappy jobs to pay to live, this post is a joke in comparison. Seriously, grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about national service programs, like AmeriCorps/AmeriCorps Vista? They don’t pay a lot, but I think they give a small stipend plus a lump sum at the end that can be used for educational purposes.

Something like that could give you time to figure out what you want to do, while helping others in the community.

Or Peace Corps. Or teaching English abroad. Go abroad, get some perspective, meet different kinds of people. You might discover some. New things about yourself and your interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do sound like you are sucking joy out of the air change your attitude you sound like you’re still in high school in a Disney style movie of friends and relationships. Life is hard and you need to start working and moving on. You sound very privileged and ungrateful - do you have student loans or did parents pay for you? I was a highschool and college kid with no friends because I worked crappy jobs to pay to live, this post is a joke in comparison. Seriously, grow up.

+100

OP, you are a narcissistic, entitled brat. Of course you don't have a "Disney Movie" style group of friends; no one wants to be friends with a pessimistic navel-gazer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1. Your therapist cannot diagnose you with anything. You need to see a psychiatrist or a psychologist who does evaluations, tell them what the therapist said, and seek a formal evaluation, then go from there if they find something. The reason I say this is that the therapist could be way off. You could have autism, for example. From the way you write, it's a definite possibility.

2. People with mental health disorders have a harder time of it, OP. You have to be resilient and persevere. My college freshman has autism, ADHD and low processing speed. He has no friends in high school and has so far made none in college. Despite my explanations and exhortations, he has no clue how to make friends or network. This is going to hurt him in both his professional and private life!

3. STOP BLAMING OTHERS. This is the most unpleasant trait of many people with mental health disorders. My son hasn't done it very much so far, because he's young and was born with a very sweet nature, but I've noticed it in many others, including my husband, who is also on the spectrum. No, it's not the fault of others. Since you probably have some neurodivergence, I don't even want to say it's your "fault". It just IS, you have to live with yourself, try to improve, and find joy and fulfillment in your life.

4. Force yourself to get out of your basement, stay off the worst parts of the internet and volunteer for others who have more troubles than you. The people with mental issues who isolate themselves end up developing extreme views and hurting others or themselves. Don't be that person.

5. Best of luck.

OP here. This is really interesting. If you don't mind me asking, what about my writing suggests autism to you?

PP you replied to. It's a combination of the following:
1. Tendency to catastrophize, ie, overreact. People with autism don't have an innate sense of what a proportional emotional response should be, so they either under or overreact. Your post uses exaggerated language.

2. Long post with lots of extraneous details. People with autism usually also have executive functioning issues (ADHD) and find it hard to triage and distinguish salient points from minor details (and in life generally, may find it hard to organize themselves and function optimally).

3. As PP said, inability to present someone else's point of view. It's true that teens can be incredibly self-centered, but you're a young adult and should know by now that presenting a situation to strangers should generally include a diversity of viewpoints so they can better understand it. People with autism have a hard time putting themselves in other people's shoes, because they do not understand nonverbal cues, hints and implicit messaging. They can only work with what they've been explicitly told, or what they see other people do. It makes them miss out on a lot of sensitive or delicate matters that people might prefer to suggest instead of explain, in the workplace or privately; and it prevents them from predicting important moves, such as layoffs or romantic break-ups, because they cannot take hints. They can feel blindsided and thus resentful.

4. If you're so asocial and disconnected that you do not have access to other people's opinions, then that in itself is a red flag, since the classic presentation of autism is an asocial one, with a inability to make or retain friends. It's rare to have no friends at all. Usually those people are on the autism spectrum.

Reading this list, you'll see that these notions work together. A person with ASD might end up with good reason to catastrophize, if they've frequently experienced being blindsided because they're unable to fully understand subtle social cues. They might end up reflexively blaming everyone but themselves. And they do.

[Anonymous]

Forgive. Don't be too hard on yourself. Many successful folks out in the world were like you. It's hard starting out. I would recommend you clear your mind and get in shape. When I was in a similar spot, I started running and weight lifting. These activities make you incrementally stronger and you feel the results, look good, and then your mind feels good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting rx meds from a street dealer is a great way to overdose/die. Please stop if you have not.

This this this. Please do not do this again. So much stuff is laced with fentanyl and young people end up dying while cramming for midterms and finals.

See a psychiatrist and get a legit prescription. You're on your parents' insurance still - use it!

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1. Your therapist cannot diagnose you with anything. You need to see a psychiatrist or a psychologist who does evaluations, tell them what the therapist said, and seek a formal evaluation, then go from there if they find something. The reason I say this is that the therapist could be way off. You could have autism, for example. From the way you write, it's a definite possibility.

2. People with mental health disorders have a harder time of it, OP. You have to be resilient and persevere. My college freshman has autism, ADHD and low processing speed. He has no friends in high school and has so far made none in college. Despite my explanations and exhortations, he has no clue how to make friends or network. This is going to hurt him in both his professional and private life!

3. STOP BLAMING OTHERS. This is the most unpleasant trait of many people with mental health disorders. My son hasn't done it very much so far, because he's young and was born with a very sweet nature, but I've noticed it in many others, including my husband, who is also on the spectrum. No, it's not the fault of others. Since you probably have some neurodivergence, I don't even want to say it's your "fault". It just IS, you have to live with yourself, try to improve, and find joy and fulfillment in your life.

4. Force yourself to get out of your basement, stay off the worst parts of the internet and volunteer for others who have more troubles than you. The people with mental issues who isolate themselves end up developing extreme views and hurting others or themselves. Don't be that person.

5. Best of luck.

OP here. This is really interesting. If you don't mind me asking, what about my writing suggests autism to you?

NP here. I also suspected high-functioning autism from your post. The tip off for me was how self-centered and self-absorbed your post seemed. Me, me, me. I, I, I. One long post about you, and nothing about how other people have helped you or how you can use your education to help others or serve the world.

A lack of empathy and an intense self-focus is often a sign of autism. Or a personality disorder. Or, in your case, most likely both.

I grow up in a collective thinking culture, let me just say this me me me thinking is way better suited for living in the states.

[Anonymous]

You are getting some advice here. Also, you could join a social crew club or team or a running club. Hobbies will give you structure and a social atmosphere.

[Anonymous]

Ignore these morons with their BS autism "diagnoses"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know. Maybe this site can tell me to suck it up and get my shit together. Maybe you guys can tell me that I should do more introspective navel-gazing. I don't know. I'm so lost. I feel like I'm drowning.

Why are you posting on a parenting board? This forum hates other people's children (people like you).

Try Reddit for peer advice.

[Anonymous]

Invest in career counseling.

https://pathfinderscareerdesign.com/

You have time to redesign your trajectory, but you need to get it right this time.

Go to a psychologist and get a solid diagnosis. You can’t go off a therapist’s opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you go to medical school?

This is non-sensical.