If you are a SAHM or SAHD, how much money does your spouse make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I SAH and we haven't been able to max out retirement these past few years as we'd like. I admit the insecurity is stressful, but what about real estate as an investment/retirement plan? Not the investment property, wheeling and dealing variety, but the value of paying off one's own home? We have 30% equity in our home, which is our emergency cushion in the form of a home equity line. And while our 401K savings aren't huge, our home will be paid off in 25 years, before we could collect on 401K anyway. Has anyone experience with reverse mortgages as a retirement strategy? Is this a stupid idea?

Better to own your home outright AND have good 401(k) and other savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My husband makes $130K and works for the feds. I work 10 hours a week and we rent out our basement, earning an additional $30K combined. We own in NW DC with one child. We have no savings, little retirement, no college fund, but plan to start contributing to all once DC enters public school. I may or may not return to work full-time in the future. Staying at home these past few years has changed me. I no longer have the patience for most desk jobs so will need to seriously reexamine my life and goals when the time comes. For now, being home with my DC these formative years has been worth feeling the pinch and insecurity of a life without savings or extras. We're happier than we've ever been and consider ourselves truly rich (though perhaps not wealthy).

How old are you? You're not rich because you have very little saved, regardless of income. What about SAH has made you lose patience for desk jobs? I would think an office job would be bliss after being AH and having no time to pee or eat lunch in peace.

I think you misunderstood my use of the word, "rich." I enjoy setting my own schedule, or better, allowing my child's needs to determine that schedule. I would resent any job that interfered with our family time. And I do manage to pee and eat in peace; not in solitude, but in peace. As for savings, I left out an important piece of the puzzle mentioned by others: We bought our first home in 2000 and sold it at the peak. So our equity is tied up in our current house, not in a savings account. My husband will retire with a government pension, which won't be enough to get by on, but will augment our meager 401K savings that took a hit these past few years. But I didn't contribute to this thread to justify our decisions, only to share that there are a number of factors involved in the decision to stay at home, and people find a way to do what is important to them. It's tough in this area to be sure, but we all make choices based on our priorities. Our DC won't go to private school but will go the best public school we can get into through the lottery. We live in a transitioning area in NW DC in a small house with no yard. We rent out our finished basement instead of using the space to expand our living area. We have one child, not more. We don't drive fancy cars or take extravagant vacations. There are times when I envy our friends with more money, investments, house, whatever, but they have made different decisions than we have. We live close to friends and family, we have our health, our educations, each other, and we're happy. That is my definition of "rich."

Ok you meant "rich." I'm rich because finances didn't have any impact on the number of children we had and we have savings in addition to the equity in our house.

[Anonymous]

There is no way I could live the way some of you do. I admire your commitment to your principles, but I caution you: being young and poor can be romantic; being old and poor sucks. And one other thing: my mother was a fantastic mom, who also worked. I don't remember who changed my diapers during the day when I was little, but I sure as hell am grateful for the fact that I didn't have to take out loans to go to college, and I sure remember all the great family trips we took.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way I could live the way some of you do. I admire your commitment to your principles, but I caution you: being young and poor can be romantic; being old and poor sucks. And one other thing: my mother was a fantastic mom, who also worked. I don't remember who changed my diapers during the day when I was little, but I sure as hell am grateful for the fact that I didn't have to take out loans to go to college, and I sure remember all the great family trips we took.

I've read most of the posts in this thread and haven't come across anyone who is poor. I think the lowest income reported is $55,000. How is that poor? Yes, we live in an affluent area, and then this forum is self-selected to be mostly higher income folks even for this area. But we're not poor people here!

I'm one of the posters who has a HHI on the lower side (as compared with other posters). I'm not a young parent (around 40 with a toddler and #2 on the way) and don't feel like I'm young and poor or old and poor.

And my HHI isn't really based on a commitment to principles. My husband and are both well educated, but in fields that just don't bring in huge salaries. But we make a little more than the the median household income for this area - and those medians are some of the highest in the country.

[Anonymous]

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Amen. We make only about 55K as well and have the same things as you. We make it work on a daily basis without a problem. And I WILL go back to work, albeit, it won't be the same thing as what I did before. DH has an awesome retirement plan with his work, so we don't add extra to that now, but we will when I work. We saved a bunch before we had kids so we could buy our modest townhouse and have some savings now. We don't have education funds for our children and don't plan on it either. We are a young couple, only mid twenties so I would say we are doing just fine. Once I finish grad school and work again we'll be in the over 6 figures salary, but I wouldn't say that we will be any happier in life.

Oh. I could "afford" to SAH if we weren't working on saving $250,000 for our kids' college educations.

Ironic that the poster who has no debt is also not saving for education. So it's fine to saddle your kids with tremendous debt in their 20s. If it is at all possible to save for an education, I think it is absolutely the parents' responsiblity. And don't use the excuse "they will work harder if they pay for it." BULLSHIT. I know plenty of people that gradutated with little or no debt and made the most out of their education, and in fact did so well they were able to go to grad school - which would not have been an option if you are taking on undergrad and grad debt. I also know plenty of kids who failed out or were put on probation who were helping to pay for college. If you have a lazy , unmotivated kid, they will be lazy and unmotivated whether or not they are paying for college.

If I had a lazy, unmotivated kid there would be no way I would be paying for their college. If children are motivated and bright enough there are many scholarships out there for them to lighten the load. Then I would of course help them out.

Some parents let their children get through college on their own and then at graduation will pay off any outstanding balance. They know their child has really done it on their own then. The child does not know this before hand and it is a huge gift for them.

[Anonymous]

husband makes $127K and we live in NW DC near the cathedral....love love love staying home!!! We make it work and are both very frugal, cars are paid off, no credit card debt,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:husband makes $127K and we live in NW DC near the cathedral....love love love staying home!!! We make it work and are both very frugal, cars are paid off, no credit card debt,

Do you rent or own?

[Anonymous]

New poster. I didn't read the first 12 pages. We have an unusual situation. I SAH, husband only makes 60-65k, but we have over 1 million in the bank which brings in some interest, and 3 homes, all paid off and 2 of which are rental properties. We're in our early 30's with 2 kids, a toddler and an infant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster. I didn't read the first 12 pages. We have an unusual situation. I SAH, husband only makes 60-65k, but we have over 1 million in the bank which brings in some interest, and 3 homes, all paid off and 2 of which are rental properties. We're in our early 30's with 2 kids, a toddler and an infant.

did you inherit?

[Anonymous]

yes

[Anonymous]

I just did the math the other day and figured out we COULD keep up our savings and current bills (including Roths, life insurance and 529 savings) and such if I SAH on DH's salary of $90K. But I also enjoy working PT and think I would be a horrid SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Wow quite a few 250's what do you or your husband do? Us lowly engineers are only bringing in 60 or so. Boy did we pick the wrong majors!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow quite a few 250's what do you or your husband do? Us lowly engineers are only bringing in 60 or so. Boy did we pick the wrong majors!

Huh? Starting salaries for engineers were ~$50k 15 years ago (from a top school). What kind of engineer is only making $60k now? Right out of school?

[Anonymous]

32yo working SoCal mama, SAHD, 3 yo toddler, baby #2 on the way. My motto is: moderation in all things, and that's how we live.

Started bringing in 100K for my family about 4 years ago. (Before that it was 50K combined income and renting.) First in my family to go to college or own a house, so I (usually... try to) feel privileged and blessed with what we have. So happy to read that I'm not the only one struggling with how to save money for college on this income! I really want my kids to have a better life and education is the KEY.

Drive older Honda, eat at home, do our own maintenance, cleaning, and yard work. No cable, no cell phones, no gym membership, etc. We eat out on special occasions and do yearly weekend (local!) getaways for our anniversary. Buy clothing on ebay or deep discount sale at dept store, cook every meal from staples, do my own mani/pedis/hair at home, find cheap/free family outings on weekends. I did splurge last year and buy my hubby some leather shoes from Aldo and a few outfits from Guess for going out. And for my birthday we went to brunch at a nice restaurant. But moderation is the key to our ability to pay our bills, that's for sure.

I put away 10K a year into retirement and that's about all we save. (It's always something, right? This month it was a broken dishwasher and car troubles.... ) We have 30K in student loans but no other debt besides house (300K left, ouch!). (We just bought a foreclosed home last year on an FHA or we'd be renting FOREVER.) We get no financial support from parents - in fact I send $ to my sister each month.

It's amazing how much a small inheritance can make a big difference. Wish I had one coming my way! My friends who get parental support of any kind are in a much better place financially, and I hope I can give that kind of freedom to my kids someday.

And WHAT kind of job do you get that pays 250-500K a year?! Can I have one?! Wow!

I still remember when I hit the 6 figure mark. I still get a little teary eyed thinking about it. The promotion was a surprise. We bought a bottle of champagne to celebrate the end of living month to month, nightly pasta dinners, and public transportation. Here's to the American dream!

[Anonymous]

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