Don't get fat and happy just because you've been married for over 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to figure out why so many people on this thread have horrible marriages when you read these responses.

If you think that the root of infidelity is being frumpy, I don't think you understand what a healthy marriage is.

Marriage isn't a transaction relationship, it isn't "you stay sexy, so I'll stay faithful." Marriage is for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. If you choose to break that vow, it's not because your spouse is frumpy. It's because you didn't take that vow seriously to begin with, or because your marriage has deteriorated to the point where you don't care about the other person.

Sorry, BS, people are not infallible. Deal with reality.

No, NOT BS. I know quite a few frumpy and/or batshit crazy women whose husbands have NOT strayed, because they take their marriage seriously. The people I know whose husbands cheated didn't cheat because their wives were frumpy (they weren't), they cheated because the marriage had problems or they themselves had problems. I know one guy whose wife cheated with a woman who almost looked the same (thin, blond, mid-thirties).

LOL sorry he cheated on his wife with someone who looked very similar to her LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feel so bad for Holly Petraeus. However, there she is with a husband who is a runner and in peak shape, and of course he's going to be looking at a woman who is as fit as he is. I look around my neighborhood friends, and I always worry when I see that the couple isn't really on the wavelength anymore. Like the wife who has become really successful, has killer upper arms and has taken care of herself, and the husband who has just let it go. Those are the couples that are going to have problems and it makes me sad. I just want to take the one aside that is losing their touch and shake them and say hey!----wake up!-----relationships are work! Put down the donuts and start caring for yourself!

Man here.

Its probably been said and I havent bothered reading responses but its real easy to put this off on looks because its night and day between Holly and Mistress.

However, cheating happens regardless of if you have the finest wife on earth or an ugly species. Sure physical attractiveness shouldnt go down hill but do you mean to tell me if Holly looked like *pick the hottest actress you admire*, that Petraeus would not have given the Broadwell chic the time of day? Doubt it.

+1. The media describes Broadwell like a groupie. Totally infatuated with him. That was probably what made her most attractive to him- more so than her physical looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FYI, old Petraeus pic:

Adorable! I hope she finds peace and decides for herself what is best for her family and doesn't feel influenced by public opinion. Hillary stayed with Bill while the Edwards' split up. Go figure. God bless her for serving our country with grace behind the scenes on less of an income than most of you pay in taxes per year. I salute you, Mrs. Petraeus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As soon as I saw a photo of Ms. Petraeus I knew exactly what the DCUM chorus of bitter, starving women would say.

Y'all as reliable as the sunrise.

My husband was pleased when I gained weight and your husbands regularly hit on my fat ass. Do you know how many "thin, fit" men want to feel something sweet and lush in bed? Many.

But nobody wants Peppermint Patty. Wasn't she gay?

"Sweet and lush" means fat?

[Anonymous]

PP Male poster from a while back.

Some of you have not one iota of a clue what leads someone to cheat. Stop watching lifetime movies and getting caught up in the media hype.

Again, its perfectly legit to stay fit, stylish, sexy, etc for your spouse but this by no means promises that you will not get cheated on.

Its very easy at first glance to highlight the difference in looks between Holly and Paula (and I even joke about it with friends) but the reality isnt as simple as explaining this as Holly letting herself go.

Do you honestly think that Paula is the only good looking woman he's run across since he was married? Hell the other woman (who apparently is just a groupie) looks better than Holly and Petraeus didnt fuck her.

I am sure that Petraues noticed her good looks and that only added to any intimate knowledge they gained with each other as they got to know each other more. Other than that, to put it off simply on looks is naive, dumb, and just plain lazy on the part of people using that as an excuse

[Anonymous]

And to the fat poster, save your "men hit on me" story for another thread. you just want to inject your weight insecurity by "bragging" how you still get hit on after gaining weight.

good for you, but nobody cares. theres someone for everybody so you just want to make yourself feel better making statements on your fat assness and its ability to still attract men.

round of applause for you. whatever

[Anonymous]

Man here. You women who think that he cheated because his wife got fat are totally delusional. But if that's what you want to believe, then keep staying fit for your man and just assume that he won't cheat on you. That way, he can have you paranoid and fit, and find another woman to also have sex with. It's the best of both worlds for him.

[Anonymous]

I posted earlier that Holly (really, Hollister!), was ugly and fat. And, she is.
She was also ugly in that early picture, but so was he. Did they each think they would get better looking with age. Yuck.
This is not about ugly and fat - it's about opportunity and ego.
This entire thread is sad.
Makes me worry about my fitness as a 54 year old marathon runner.
I sure don't look like I did 20 years ago, but I'm pretty good for 54.
Is it not OK to age now?

[Anonymous]

You people are crazy with all your fat hating. I'll take a sexually enthusiastic chubby girl over a model-thin prude every day of the week.

[Anonymous]

Ewwww.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On the weight issues -- Relationships should be about putting your best self into it. Emotionally, physically, sexually, mentally. You owe it to your partner to be the best that you can be. Especially in high-powered circles like government where you know your husband has options.

I believe this is the kind of attitude that contributes to the high divorce rate. People are not perfect and not everyone sees life as a constant, competitive quest for self-improvement. I do not owe it to my husband to be my "best self," which, btw, I would define very differently from you. (I think "best self" is an asinine and judgmental concept to begin with, but at least let me decide how to be my own best self instead of proclaiming that being as conventionally attractive as possible must be "best" for everyone.) What I owe to him is what I promised him when we married -- to love him, respect him, and treat him kindly.

The problem here is the narrow-minded inability to see beyond your own beliefs, or perhaps a self-righteous refusal to accept that not everyone needs to live by your beliefs, that others can legitimately have different priorities and goals and that doesn't make them wrong.

To those of you who criticize women for "not caring about themselves" because they're overweight, don't wear makeup, have bad haircuts or clothes or whatever, SO WHAT? Why the mandate that we must care about being conventionally attractive? Why must we spend our money and time on grooming/exercising/dieting/waxing/plastic surgery in order to be taken seriously? Why does not caring about my appearance mean I've given up on myself? Maybe I care deeply about myself, just not about the impression I make on shallow, judgmental people. If we want women to be valued as people with brains rather than sex objects or eye candy, not caring about appearance is exactly what we need to do.

[Anonymous]

13:25 -
right or wrong, it matters how you look. you don't have to be pretty or thin, but if you want to be taken seriously, you do need to look like you care about yourself.
You can have all the self esteem in the world, but if you look like a frump, you will be treated like a frump......
Sorry.

[Anonymous]

doesn't excuse his behavior, but when you are married to someone who looks as crunchy as she does..............wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:13:25 -
right or wrong, it matters how you look. you don't have to be pretty or thin, but if you want to be taken seriously, you do need to look like you care about yourself.
You can have all the self esteem in the world, but if you look like a frump, you will be treated like a frump......
Sorry.

I understand that and I'm cool with it. I know I can't force anyone to take a critical look at their cultural assumptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are crazy with all your fat hating. I'll take a sexually enthusiastic chubby girl over a model-thin prude every day of the week.

+ eww