Don't get fat and happy just because you've been married for over 20 years.

[Anonymous]

If only it were that simple, OP. there is usually a lot more to the attraction than looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, I kind of agree. I would still be furious if my DH cheated on me, but if I were 40 pounds heavier, didn't care what I looked like and had completely lost all semblance of my former self, I would have to admit to myself that an affair wouldn't be a big surprise. Men are men.

I don't think Petreus's wife "lost all semblance of her former self." She is a talented, high-powered career woman who has her own life, goals, achievements, etc. She has hardly given up on herself or on life. Apparently the general grew up to be a lying, cheating bastard and somehow she managed to avoid having an affair even though he clearly wasn't the "catch" she married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, I kind of agree. I would still be furious if my DH cheated on me, but if I were 40 pounds heavier, didn't care what I looked like and had completely lost all semblance of my former self, I would have to admit to myself that an affair wouldn't be a big surprise. Men are men.

How do you know that Holly Petraus 'had completely lost all semblance of her former self'? She might have been plump all long. Plus, she's 20 years older than the other woman.

The point I'm trying to make here is, even if you don't become 'fat and happy' 20 years into your marriage, it still doesn't guarantee anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, I kind of agree. I would still be furious if my DH cheated on me, but if I were 40 pounds heavier, didn't care what I looked like and had completely lost all semblance of my former self, I would have to admit to myself that an affair wouldn't be a big surprise. Men are men.

How do you know that Holly Petraus 'had completely lost all semblance of her former self'? She might have been plump all long. Plus, she's 20 years older than the other woman.

The point I'm trying to make here is, even if you don't become 'fat and happy' 20 years into your marriage, it still doesn't guarantee anything.

They are showing a pic of Holly Petraeus in her younger days all over the news. She was cute. Certainly not plump. Let's just call a spade a spade: she is quite matronly. I'm sure she is the sweetest, most generous woman alive. But sometimes, that is not enough to keep your husband from eyeing greener pastures. As I said, men are men. Your character really only gets you so far with most of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, I kind of agree. I would still be furious if my DH cheated on me, but if I were 40 pounds heavier, didn't care what I looked like and had completely lost all semblance of my former self, I would have to admit to myself that an affair wouldn't be a big surprise. Men are men.

I don't think Petreus's wife "lost all semblance of her former self." She is a talented, high-powered career woman who has her own life, goals, achievements, etc. She has hardly given up on herself or on life. Apparently the general grew up to be a lying, cheating bastard and somehow she managed to avoid having an affair even though he clearly wasn't the "catch" she married.

Um, have you looked at her pictures? She looks exactly the before picture on the makeover shows. She does not look like someone who has a great attitude. Maybe she's smart, but I have a feeling she is where she is because she was a great organizer and a general's wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15:03 and 15:13 here. Not to sound like I condone Petraeus' affair. I totally don't. But I DO get the impulse and the temptation. What I find it hard to understand is why a man who had so much to publicly lose (prestigious position, loving family, sterling military career) would actually risk it all for a piece of ass. I understand the temptation, I just don't understand him giving in to it.

He probably didn't think he would get caught. And he is old so maybe he felt this would make him feel younger.

[Anonymous]

Men are men poster--are boys just being boys, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, I kind of agree. I would still be furious if my DH cheated on me, but if I were 40 pounds heavier, didn't care what I looked like and had completely lost all semblance of my former self, I would have to admit to myself that an affair wouldn't be a big surprise. Men are men.

Wow, you have no faith in men, do you? So they can't help themselves? Didn't know they were such undisciplined losers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, I kind of agree. I would still be furious if my DH cheated on me, but if I were 40 pounds heavier, didn't care what I looked like and had completely lost all semblance of my former self, I would have to admit to myself that an affair wouldn't be a big surprise. Men are men.

I don't think Petreus's wife "lost all semblance of her former self." She is a talented, high-powered career woman who has her own life, goals, achievements, etc. She has hardly given up on herself or on life. Apparently the general grew up to be a lying, cheating bastard and somehow she managed to avoid having an affair even though he clearly wasn't the "catch" she married.

Um, have you looked at her pictures? She looks exactly the before picture on the makeover shows. She does not look like someone who has a great attitude. Maybe she's smart, but I have a feeling she is where she is because she was a great organizer and a general's wife.

"You have a feeling"? I hope that you are not in charge of performance reviews where you work because generally a person's competence at work is determined by more than "I feel like they aren't good at their job." FWIW, she looks like a lot of 60 year old women to me. She isn't grossly obese or unkempt, just a little frumpy and prone to wearing boxy suits. A good marriage is based on shared interests, years of personal memories, and a genuine like of the person's personality. I do not see how she is to blame if the only piece of evidence you are claiming is her less than hideous appearance.

[Anonymous]

Ok now I have to worry also about other women's arms???!??? This is insane!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15:03 and 15:13 here. Not to sound like I condone Petraeus' affair. I totally don't. But I DO get the impulse and the temptation. What I find it hard to understand is why a man who had so much to publicly lose (prestigious position, loving family, sterling military career) would actually risk it all for a piece of ass. I understand the temptation, I just don't understand him giving in to it.

And there's a John Edwards quality to it to. It's one thing to have an affair, it's another thing to have it with a flake like Rielle Hunter. Broadwell is not exactly a flake but from what I can see she had an obsessive and worshipful attitude toward Petraeus. She might be able to run 6 minute miles with him but I can't see how she would be a full partner with him instead of the acolyte she seems to have been. Why her, Petraeus? Are you that insecure?

[Anonymous]

Elin Nordegren, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, Demi Moore, Elizabeth Hurley, or Christie Brinkley, to name a few. Damn, what did they do to get cheated on?

[Anonymous]

I feel lucky. I was fat when we met and am still fat. We've been together 26 years and are still happy together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, I kind of agree. I would still be furious if my DH cheated on me, but if I were 40 pounds heavier, didn't care what I looked like and had completely lost all semblance of my former self, I would have to admit to myself that an affair wouldn't be a big surprise. Men are men.

I don't think Petreus's wife "lost all semblance of her former self." She is a talented, high-powered career woman who has her own life, goals, achievements, etc. She has hardly given up on herself or on life. Apparently the general grew up to be a lying, cheating bastard and somehow she managed to avoid having an affair even though he clearly wasn't the "catch" she married.

Um, have you looked at her pictures? She looks exactly the before picture on the makeover shows. She does not look like someone who has a great attitude. Maybe she's smart, but I have a feeling she is where she is because she was a great organizer and a general's wife.

"You have a feeling"? I hope that you are not in charge of performance reviews where you work because generally a person's competence at work is determined by more than "I feel like they aren't good at their job." FWIW, she looks like a lot of 60 year old women to me. She isn't grossly obese or unkempt, just a little frumpy and prone to wearing boxy suits. A good marriage is based on shared interests, years of personal memories, and a genuine like of the person's personality. I do not see how she is to blame if the only piece of evidence you are claiming is her less than hideous appearance.

Good marriages are also based on SEX. 60 years old is not OLD. Men, especially men in good shape at 60, still have a good healthy love of SEX and interest in good looking women. Just because she's 60 and kind of plump doesn't mean that she has to look like that. There are lots of hot looking plump older gals that shop at Victoria's Secret. I see them there all the time. She just threw in the towel, because she figured having a powerful father and showing up for 37 years was good enough.

[Anonymous]

On the weight issues -- Relationships should be about putting your best self into it. Emotionally, physically, sexually, mentally. You owe it to your partner to be the best that you can be. Especially in high-powered circles like government where you know your husband has options.

But I really don't think it was just about looks. It was a classic case of a younger woman who shared the same experiences and idolized him. I mean it's straight out of a movie. Young woman spending hours with the man trying to capture his every essence for her book. Giving speeches over how awesome this man is. He lapped it up. The running didn't hurt either. I am a runner and when I am in the middle of a heavy training period and running with others, I connect to them like none other. It's a fierce passion and to be able to share that runners high with others is an awesome feeling.