Am I being neurotic and irrational?

[Anonymous]

I am 34 weeks, FTM and a tad hormonal these days (ok really hormonal) so I'm not sure how sound my judgement is. DH has friends coming to visit, they are bringing their 6mo baby and staying with us. We have the nursery ready to go for our future baby including the cute little crib with all the new linen, little stuffed animals, bumpers, etc. (and yes I know this all has to come out when DS arrives). DH and friends want to use the crib for the visiting baby and I feel very torn about this. It's almost like I don't want any baby sleeping in the crib until my baby has a chance to sleep in it first. We do have a pack n play they can use but am I being a total bi-otch if I ask them to use the pack n play with a perfectly good crib available?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 34 weeks, FTM and a tad hormonal these days (ok really hormonal) so I'm not sure how sound my judgement is. DH has friends coming to visit, they are bringing their 6mo baby and staying with us. We have the nursery ready to go for our future baby including the cute little crib with all the new linen, little stuffed animals, bumpers, etc. (and yes I know this all has to come out when DS arrives). DH and friends want to use the crib for the visiting baby and I feel very torn about this. It's almost like I don't want any baby sleeping in the crib until my baby has a chance to sleep in it first. We do have a pack n play they can use but am I being a total bi-otch if I ask them to use the pack n play with a perfectly good crib available?

Yes, you are being irrational and neurotic. These are your friends. Be friendly.

[Anonymous]

imho, not a total bi-otch but a little irrational. take out all the stuff and throw in a cheap crib sheet if it will make you feel better - you can get one for $10. They will never know the difference, and all the pretty stuff will still be virgin fresh for your LO to spit up on

[Anonymous]

First, get the stuffed animals and bumpers out of there. The only thing that should be in with any baby, especially a newborn, is a crib sheet.

Second, yes I think you're being a little irrational. I understand your thinking, but I still think your argument is a non-starter. Your friends' baby is not going to contaminate your crib. If anything, it will be a good test-drive -- you can see firsthand how your setup works and if there's anything else you need to get or rearrange before your little one gets here. Unless you're also freaked out about them using the changing table. (In which case, you don't get to complain later about any mess to your floors and/or upholstery.)

If you're really worked up about it, ask them to bring their own crib sheet. Just say that yours haven't arrived yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 34 weeks, FTM and a tad hormonal these days (ok really hormonal) so I'm not sure how sound my judgement is. DH has friends coming to visit, they are bringing their 6mo baby and staying with us. We have the nursery ready to go for our future baby including the cute little crib with all the new linen, little stuffed animals, bumpers, etc. (and yes I know this all has to come out when DS arrives). DH and friends want to use the crib for the visiting baby and I feel very torn about this. It's almost like I don't want any baby sleeping in the crib until my baby has a chance to sleep in it first. We do have a pack n play they can use but am I being a total bi-otch if I ask them to use the pack n play with a perfectly good crib available?

I totally understand where you are at right now. When I was pregnant I was fairly neurotic about my kids room(I am a total slob in normal life). I basically had to tell my husband not to move anything at all in there, or feel the wrath. But listen, you should let the baby sleep in there. What you are feeling right now is normal but so so very temporary, and you would look back on it and feel pretty dumb about it. Trust me on this one!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, get the stuffed animals and bumpers out of there. The only thing that should be in with any baby, especially a newborn, is a crib sheet.

Sorry, but the OP clearly stated in the initial post that she knows these items don't belong in there and they will be removed. Geez.

[Anonymous]

I would totally not want them to use it. That doesn't mean it's not irrational but I completely get where you're coming from. Take out all the cute stuff, put in a plain sheet, and grit your teeth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would totally not want them to use it. That doesn't mean it's not irrational but I completely get where you're coming from. Take out all the cute stuff, put in a plain sheet, and grit your teeth

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:imho, not a total bi-otch but a little irrational. take out all the stuff and throw in a cheap crib sheet if it will make you feel better - you can get one for $10. They will never know the difference, and all the pretty stuff will still be virgin fresh for your LO to spit up on

I second this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would totally not want them to use it. That doesn't mean it's not irrational but I completely get where you're coming from. Take out all the cute stuff, put in a plain sheet, and grit your teeth

Yep.

[Anonymous]

I'd feel the same way. We spent so much time making the nursery just right for our baby and I wouldn't want someone else's baby to be the first one to sleep in there. However, I'd probably suck it up and let the other baby sleep there.

I would give them the option of the pack 'n play and say something like "maybe you'd like to have the baby sleep in your room since it's an unfamiliar house"? Something like that so it seems like it's their idea to have the baby sleep in the pack 'n play instead of the new crib.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd feel the same way. We spent so much time making the nursery just right for our baby and I wouldn't want someone else's baby to be the first one to sleep in there. However, I'd probably suck it up and let the other baby sleep there.

I would give them the option of the pack 'n play and say something like "maybe you'd like to have the baby sleep in your room since it's an unfamiliar house"? Something like that so it seems like it's their idea to have the baby sleep in the pack 'n play instead of the new crib.

Good idea.

Actually, if I were coming to visit a first time mom-to-be (my assumption) with my 6-month old, I would not ask to use the new baby's room. I would understand that you would want to save it for your baby. So, I do think it's odd for your friends to ask to use the new crib, especially if a pack n play is a good option.

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness. You women are in for a long ride as parents if you're determined that no other baby should breathe the same air as your own. Take this as an opportunity to learn one of the easiest and most obvious lessons of parenthood: stuff doesn't matter (and the safety and sleep!!! of a small baby is more important than anything.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would totally not want them to use it. That doesn't mean it's not irrational but I completely get where you're coming from. Take out all the cute stuff, put in a plain sheet, and grit your teeth

This.

This, too

It would bug me, but, hopefully, the rational side when win-over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my goodness. You women are in for a long ride as parents if you're determined that no other baby should breathe the same air as your own. Take this as an opportunity to learn one of the easiest and most obvious lessons of parenthood: stuff doesn't matter (and the safety and sleep!!! of a small baby is more important than anything.)

And I'm sure you were the same way when you were a FTM, so ease up and be helpful, not preachy.

Signed,
A mom of 3