Am I being neurotic and irrational?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I love posts like this. The trolls go nuts over it! One more way to throw in how selfish, self-absorbed, self-centered, ill-equipped-for-parenthood, the-world-revolves-around-me, nuerotic and irrational preggos are. Unless they are the most self-sacrificing, giving, calm, patient, unhormonal woman on the planet, they're complete a-holes and should suffer miserably once baby is born. Just another typical day on the Expectant Mom's forum. FWIW OP, I think your DH's *friend" sounds like the a-hole and should be more than happy you offered up your own pack n play (that one can assume is brand new) so she doesn't have to travel with her own. But I'm not a troll that does everything possible to make you feel bad about yourself for asking the question.


why is anyone who doesnt agree with your take on the situation "a troll"? she posted the question, asked for responses, got them. so...what....
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I love posts like this. The trolls go nuts over it! One more way to throw in how selfish, self-absorbed, self-centered, ill-equipped-for-parenthood, the-world-revolves-around-me, nuerotic and irrational preggos are. Unless they are the most self-sacrificing, giving, calm, patient, unhormonal woman on the planet, they're complete a-holes and should suffer miserably once baby is born. Just another typical day on the Expectant Mom's forum. FWIW OP, I think your DH's *friend" sounds like the a-hole and should be more than happy you offered up your own pack n play (that one can assume is brand new) so she doesn't have to travel with her own. But I'm not a troll that does everything possible to make you feel bad about yourself for asking the question.


why is anyone who doesnt agree with your take on the situation "a troll"? she posted the question, asked for responses, got them. so...what....


No, anyone who resorts to ad hominem attacks on the OP (e.g., calling her selfish, self-absorbed, momzilla, etc), is a troll.

Those that disagree but can be rational about it, as opposed to resorting to histrionics, are not trolls.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I love posts like this. The trolls go nuts over it! One more way to throw in how selfish, self-absorbed, self-centered, ill-equipped-for-parenthood, the-world-revolves-around-me, nuerotic and irrational preggos are. Unless they are the most self-sacrificing, giving, calm, patient, unhormonal woman on the planet, they're complete a-holes and should suffer miserably once baby is born. Just another typical day on the Expectant Mom's forum. FWIW OP, I think your DH's *friend" sounds like the a-hole and should be more than happy you offered up your own pack n play (that one can assume is brand new) so she doesn't have to travel with her own. But I'm not a troll that does everything possible to make you feel bad about yourself for asking the question.


why is anyone who doesnt agree with your take on the situation "a troll"? she posted the question, asked for responses, got them. so...what....


No, anyone who resorts to ad hominem attacks on the OP (e.g., calling her selfish, self-absorbed, momzilla, etc), is a troll.

Those that disagree but can be rational about it, as opposed to resorting to histrionics, are not trolls.


This.
Anonymous
Saying someone is being self-absorbed is hardly "histrionics".
Anonymous
Uh, crib adjustments? Seriously? Is your mattress two inches from the top of the crib? My kid is six months, rolls and pushes herself up and we haven't even thought about lowering the crib. If your crib mattress is so high that pushing up would put her at risk of falling out, just lower it now.

I think the answer to your question is that yes, you are being neurotic and irrational, but many others are, too. My friend's baby napped in my daughter's crib before she was born, and I didn't think twice about it. She was visiting and I said, "oh, why doesn't she just sleep in the crib?" (When we brought her home, my daughter didn't seem to mind that the crib had been slept in.)


Someone on DCUM said that she was the best mom ever...until she had a baby, and that sounds like you right now. Wait til your kid is six months - if there's any possible way for you to avoid bringing tons of stuff on your trip, you will do it. Checking the pack and play, alone is going to cost $50 if they are traveling by plane, and is a huge hassle to carry around along with the baby, stroller, car seat, diaper bag, luggage, etc.

Also, washing sheets is not a hassle. If your sheets are already on the crib, they will have been on the crib for a couple months before the baby uses them. Why would you put your baby on dusty sheets, anyway?

I think the best thing for you to do is to tell your DH's friends that you aren't feeling well and you're not up for houseguests, but you look forward to seeing them after the baby is born. This is not a fight worth fighting with your DH, and not worth losing friends over.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Uh, crib adjustments? Seriously? Is your mattress two inches from the top of the crib? My kid is six months, rolls and pushes herself up and we haven't even thought about lowering the crib. If your crib mattress is so high that pushing up would put her at risk of falling out, just lower it now.

I think the answer to your question is that yes, you are being neurotic and irrational, but many others are, too. My friend's baby napped in my daughter's crib before she was born, and I didn't think twice about it. She was visiting and I said, "oh, why doesn't she just sleep in the crib?" (When we brought her home, my daughter didn't seem to mind that the crib had been slept in.)


Someone on DCUM said that she was the best mom ever...until she had a baby, and that sounds like you right now. Wait til your kid is six months - if there's any possible way for you to avoid bringing tons of stuff on your trip, you will do it. Checking the pack and play, alone is going to cost $50 if they are traveling by plane, and is a huge hassle to carry around along with the baby, stroller, car seat, diaper bag, luggage, etc.

Also, washing sheets is not a hassle. If your sheets are already on the crib, they will have been on the crib for a couple months before the baby uses them. Why would you put your baby on dusty sheets, anyway?

I think the best thing for you to do is to tell your DH's friends that you aren't feeling well and you're not up for houseguests, but you look forward to seeing them after the baby is born. This is not a fight worth fighting with your DH, and not worth losing friends over.


If you have a c-section, it is really helpful to have the mattress at the highest level. That's why it's there.
Anonymous
so i'm not sure what your house lay-out is like but i'd guess the nursery is close to your room. where will the friends be sleeping? as a traveling mom, i'd prefer to have my 6 month old in my room or nearby - definately not closest to a woman mere weeks away from giving birth and months away from her own sleep. i'd love you for offering a pack and play so i didn't have to schlep mine!! it wouldn't occur to me to either request the crib or offer it but our "guest room" is now in the basement and the nursery is 2 floors up with us next to our bedroom. 6 month olds aren't known for their reliable sleeping habits - at least mine wasn't so i'd want to be sure that i could quiet him down without wakign the rest of the house if possible.

the only thing that makes you irrational is having them come right now in the first place!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, I am a pregnant FTM and live in a one-bedroom and don't have a nursery or a crib, but I TOTALLY understand you. I would like to keep my new baby stuff for my first-ever, brand-new baby. I am sure it seems silly to people not in this situation, but I agree with the other PP who said it's almost superstitious.

There's so much about pregnancy, labor, and postpartum that are out of a woman's control. Being a first tim mom is scary and crazy and wonderful. And controlling the little bit you can control is the only way to feel safe and comfortable sometimes -- so, you are fine to offer the PnP and keep the crib set up and ready for your baby.

It's not at all self-centered, and I weep for the (lack of) souls of the PPs who claim it is.


Very well said. I second that. And yes, soulless people are the majority unfortunately.
Anonymous
It's not at all self-centered, and I weep for the (lack of) souls of the PPs who claim it is.


Very well said. I second that. And yes, soulless people are the majority unfortunately.


Honestly to describe someone as soul-less because they don't agree with your position is obscene. I can't believe that there are multiple women who are expressing such vitriol and outrage because another new (and yes, presumably exhausted) parent asked to have her baby sleep in a crib that is not being used. I still can't imagine why you object, or why you take such tremendous offense at the request.

And I keep flipping between this thread, and the incredibly moving one involving an expectant mother on the General Parenting board (I won't even reference the subject since it may be too upsetting for some.) And I just keep thinking that you women who are obsessed with the sanctity of nursery decorations and the pristineness of your unused cribs really have your priorities misplaced.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
It's not at all self-centered, and I weep for the (lack of) souls of the PPs who claim it is.


Very well said. I second that. And yes, soulless people are the majority unfortunately.


Honestly to describe someone as soul-less because they don't agree with your position is obscene. I can't believe that there are multiple women who are expressing such vitriol and outrage because another new (and yes, presumably exhausted) parent asked to have her baby sleep in a crib that is not being used. I still can't imagine why you object, or why you take such tremendous offense at the request.

And I keep flipping between this thread, and the incredibly moving one involving an expectant mother on the General Parenting board (I won't even reference the subject since it may be too upsetting for some.) And I just keep thinking that you women who are obsessed with the sanctity of nursery decorations and the pristineness of your unused cribs really have your priorities misplaced.


Lacking empathy for a woman about to be a mother for the first time is soulless.

And I think it's exactly because of the specter of stillbirth (the thread you are referencing) and other scary, huge unknowns that expectant mothers need our empathy. The mother of a 6-month-old doesn't have those worries -- yes, she's tired, yes, she has other worries. But saying that a pregnant woman isn't allowed to be superstitious about the baby's things and keep them pristine for the baby shows that you don't feel any sympathy for someone whose baby's future and health (and whose own health) is very much an unknown, scary quantity at this point.

Please have a heart.
Anonymous
OMG, now anyone who disagrees with the OP has no soul, or heart?

This thread gets more absurd with every post. Get a grip, people!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OMG, now anyone who disagrees with the OP has no soul, or heart?

This thread gets more absurd with every post. Get a grip, people!


No, again, disagreement is fine. But thinking she is self-centered or selfish is beyond the pale. Are you really so dense that you can't understand that? Is there some sort of community college logic course you can take so you can stop posting the same tired "anyone who disagrees" posts?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OMG, now anyone who disagrees with the OP has no soul, or heart?

This thread gets more absurd with every post. Get a grip, people!


No, again, disagreement is fine. But thinking she is self-centered or selfish is beyond the pale. Are you really so dense that you can't understand that? Is there some sort of community college logic course you can take so you can stop posting the same tired "anyone who disagrees" posts?


Oh yes, we're all "beyond the pale," but you are the epitome of decorum and tactful discourse, aren't you? Or maybe there's a community college etiquette course you can take to stop posting the same tired "are you really dense" posts?

You know, pot, kettle, blah blah blah.
Anonymous
You mentioned the playard/packnplay... You might want to use a Mattress Topper to make it more comfortable. We found one that is great because it folds in 3 and you can wash the cover. We also use it as a changing station and a pad. It is from www.MamaDooKids.com We love it! Good luck!
By the way, it is normal to judge people, but normally people donĀ“t do "self-centered" things for no reason at all. They are normally overwhelmed or something...
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