Am I being neurotic and irrational?

[Anonymous]

self-involved...come on now.

[Anonymous]

It would bother me, I would offer the pack and play casually like someone suggested, but wouldn't make an issue out of it in the end. I would take out the new stuff and put in plain backup stuff. Yes, it's not the most rational, but I would be pissed if someone else's baby pooped on the new mattress or changing table while I was still pregnant. Even if the "new" stuff were a hand-me-down. No, it's not the end of the world, but getting the home ready and preparing a special space for the baby is an important part of the transition for many people.

[Anonymous]

Take advantage of their visit to get as many pointers, tricks, and advice as you can. Sucks to share the crib, but this can be a really awesome crash course to get you and DH ready for the new baby.

When was the last time you or DH changed a diaper? Do you know the right angle to feed the baby? What are their tips for getting thru delivery and the first few months? This info is worth its weight in gold, especially if you or DH have little recent infant care experience.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I don't understand why someone else would ask to use your crib that your yet to be born baby hasn't used. It just seems odd and inappropriate to me. I can never imagine asking to do that. The pack and play should be just fine, and that is what I would offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I don't understand why someone else would ask to use your crib that your yet to be born baby hasn't used. It just seems odd and inappropriate to me. I can never imagine asking to do that. The pack and play should be just fine, and that is what I would offer.

And I don't see why a crib must be sacred virgin territory for the new baby. That seems neurotic and self centered to me.

[Anonymous]

I would be upset too. If you do not want to start an argument take everything out that you do not want touched and make them bring their own sheets. Are they flying in? Make them bring stuff

[Anonymous]

Well, consider the possibility that your baby may never even see the inside of the crib. Mine never did.

And imagine your baby is 6 months old; wouldn't you like the same consideration?

Take care of the baby who is here. Your baby will not know nor will he care that he was not the first to ever sleep in the crib.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my goodness. You women are in for a long ride as parents if you're determined that no other baby should breathe the same air as your own. Take this as an opportunity to learn one of the easiest and most obvious lessons of parenthood: stuff doesn't matter (and the safety and sleep!!! of a small baby is more important than anything.)

Yeah, as a mom of a couple of kids, I know that's something you don't care about pretty quickly. But, we're talking about a first-time mom here. Remember what it was like. Before the first baby is a precious time that we never get back. A time when you want things to be perfect and fresh, even though in reality they will be rumpled, spit up upon, and probably smell like pee. The mother of a 6-month old should remember that. Learning that stuff doesn't matter is something that comes naturally, post-baby. Let's not rush.

[Anonymous]

i think as a first time mom i would have felt exactly the same way. you spend time getting everything, making it perfect, keeping it clean, imagining that it is fresh and safe, etc. i can understand your feelings entirely. however now having had two kids i agree with PPs that if you don't let them put their baby in the crib, you will probably feel silly and apologetic about it later on. i like the idea of just putting a cheap sheet on it and letting that 6 month old do a test drive. when i had my second kid, she slept in the same crib as my first one had, wore the same clothes, etc. and it was no less special the second time just because those items had been used before.

[Anonymous]

I'm a few weeks from delivering #2 who will be using #1's crib as well as a number of other hand me downs. However, I totally understand the way you feel. It's kind of like someone asking to wear your wedding dress before you have a chance to wear it yourself. You spent a lot of time planning the nursery and selecting all of the items for it. I would offer them the pack and play and leave it at that. Remind DH that you are carrying his child and he should be supporting your comfort level over his friends.

[Anonymous]

Understand you OP, its your first precious perfect baby! And its a friend not a family member (your niece, nephew)....I agree with others offer the pack and play, but don't force the issue. If I was going to visit a friend with my 6mo it would be much easier to be in the same room with me in a PnP vs. another strange room w/o me in a crib.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine asking this of my friends. Geez, don't they have their own damn pack-n-play they can bring?

[Anonymous]

No, you are NOT being neurotic or irrational. I would have felt the exact same way when I was a first-time mom. The nursery was like a sanctuary for all my physical, emotional, and mental thoughts and things relating to the baby and childbirth.

Having said that, your friends (and husband) have put you in an unfair, awkward position. Can you borrow a pack-n-play for their baby? If that is too uncomfortable, you can do as others have said and get a cheap crib sheet (which you will reuse eventually). If it were me, I'd probably say that I prefer not to use the crib at this point, and stick to my guns. But then you risk looking inflexible. You have to decide how much that matters to you.

Down the road, this won't matter as much, but I TOTALLY get why it matters now. I love the wedding dress analogy.

[Anonymous]

I don't see why anyone thinks you're being neurotic or self-centered, OP! It's not like you're trying to keep the space "virgin" for your child; to me, it almost seems like bad luck...I know that is probably also irrational, but I'm the type of person who would share ANYTHING with my friends and as a FTM to be, I feel the same way as you.

People are going to be all over me for saying this, but it's almost like saying "sure, borrow my wedding dress for a night before I get married - I don't mind!!!" It just seems wrong!!!!! I wouldn't even ask if I were the friend. And I would want the baby in my room - people who travel always sleep with the baby in their room unless it's their parents' house or something and the grandmother has a special nursery set up....

[Anonymous]

Interesting to see all these responses. It wouldn't bother me at all if friends asked to do this. But then again, I was not a pregnant women that got super invested in my baby's nursery.