Family Dinner together EVERY Night? Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know - I know I've seen studies that suggest it's important, but I don't know HOW important, or at what ages (a quick google study seems to suggest adolescence as an age when this is truly important.)

Right, but waiting until adolescence to start doing it is probably not the best plan. I'd make it a habit before that if you want it to influence your teen's behavior.

OP here again-what bothers me is the assumption that dinner time is the only time things should be or can be discussed. We talk about things at all times of the day. I find the drive to school and after school very productive. We also talk at dinner, but I have to tell you the drive time is much better in quality.

I'm one of the PPs. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but you haven't mentioned your DH. I assume you meant that you drive them to school and that you see them after school. Your DH needs to spend time with them as well. It's important for him and the kids to bond. I think dinner is important together every night. If you can't swing it, make a schedule with your DH so he can be home at least half the time for dinner.

[Anonymous]

I think that it's probably more important for the 2.5 year old and infant to eat early (when they're hungry), so how you do things now sounds good (my kids ate before we did until they were 3 and 4). When they are a little older, then it will be easier to eat as a family.

[Anonymous]

For our family, dinner together is important. We manage to pull it off most nights. My husband and I are both home by 5:30 and we are usually eating around 6:30-7:00. Kids are 8 and 5 and I usually supervise homework while cooking.

But I know...it's really hard to do. When my kids were smaller, I did have to feed them a bit earlier. Just how it was when they were toddlers. But it is easier once the family eats the same food, at the same time. We still struggle sometimes with the kids' activities (it only gets worse once you have school, sports, scouts, etc.), but I can usually get most of us in the same place, at the same time. Meals aren't always extravagant--yes, sometimes it consists of microwave pancakes and a banana, but not always.

[Anonymous]

Well, I think it's important to strive for regular, quality together time. Daily, if possible.

Dinner is just convenient for most people. But it could be pre-bed time, bed time, or whatever.

IMO.

[Anonymous]

I am dying to know the addresses of these various posters who are home in their kitchens, cooking dinner by 5:30 or 6. Where do you live?! that you can have such short hours and such a quick commute?

[Anonymous]

And to echo 22:04 - what do you all do for a living that allows you to be home by 6PM?

[Anonymous]

22:35, my question exactly. We'd love to have family dinners regularly, but there's no way DH can get home that early most nights. We have family breakfast instead...

[Anonymous]

My DH gets home at 10 pm, so it's not even an option. But one of the reasons he gets home that late is because he spends his quality time with my son in the morning. So the days I work, my son has a slow breakfast with daddy and dinner with mommy (cooked frantically and eaten slowly). We have family dinner on Saturday and Sunday nights. I figure what my son is missing in terms of the entire family being there for dinner every night, he gains for having good quality one-on-one time with daddy (and not being rushed out the door in the morning).

What's funny is after reading your post my first thought was that you could just delay dinner....then I had to laugh. My son could not wait until 6:30 to eat dinner. He's a mess - even with a snack in the car on the ride home (and this is after the snack he gets at preschool in the afternoon). He is a complete mess until we eat a solid meal. I'd have to just start picking him up late, because once he sees mommy he's HUNGRY.

To the poster who asked about addresses and how am I cooking so early. We live in Arlington. We choose small house, small lot, small bathrooms and no closets over long commute (realize we are still lucky to be able to afford it - although afford it is a relative term and I do miss having closets and large bathrooms ). And my DH and I work different hours. He does drop off and goes to work late, and I get to work by 7:30 so I can leave by 4:30, pick up and be home by 5:10 (with no traffic or delays at pick-up).

[Anonymous]

We almost NEVER have dinner together as a family except for weekends. Our schedules are staggered. I am up by 5am and out the door before anyone else is awake. DH gets the kids up, fed, dressed, and to daycare in the mornings (he doesn't go to work until after 10am) and I pick the kids up and do dinner, baths, and bedtime. His schedule is all over the map for evenings so sometimes he is home right after we are done with dinner and other nights he isn't home until after we are all in bed.

I think we make it work by spending individual time with the kids at different times of the day and we spend any spare time that we are home together doing kid-focused activities. So, while I would like to have family dinners every night it just doesn't work for us. We find other ways and times to connect with our children. You need to do what works for you and your family.

If OP made her kids wait until DH came home the kids may be cranky and then no one is happy!

[Anonymous]

We do have dinner together as a family every night, but we only have one (#2 is due in a few months) and she's only 20 months old. We also have hour commutes, but stagger our schedules so that I start work at 6.45am and leave at 4.15pm; DH starts at 7.30 and leaves at 5. He's usually not home until 6.15ish, by which time I have started dinner and hopefully have it done. We also try to only cook 2 meals at most per week and plan on having 2 days of leftovers, and we try to cook after DD goes to bed so alleviate the pressure of having to cook after we get home.

I did grow up having family dinners nightly and hope to continue that with my kids.

[Anonymous]

I am jealous, OP, that your DH gets home by 6:30. Your kids will survive with a late afternoon snack. I would just wait till DH gets home and eat together as a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am dying to know the addresses of these various posters who are home in their kitchens, cooking dinner by 5:30 or 6. Where do you live?! that you can have such short hours and such a quick commute?

OP here. For those dying to know, we live in close-in in N. Arlington. We used to live in DC and there was no way that we were going to trade a short commute for a bigger house. We have about the same size house that we had in DC but with a lovely garage and the commute is the same for my husband. I used to work downtown but now I have my own practice with a home office. Also, our work does not end at 5:30 or 6:30, we both have jobs that seem more 24/7 than 9 to 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am dying to know the addresses of these various posters who are home in their kitchens, cooking dinner by 5:30 or 6. Where do you live?! that you can have such short hours and such a quick commute?

Rent an apt in NW DC. One of us is home by 530pm every night and we eat dinner with our toddler by 615pm. We alternate our schedules around so one of us goes in super-early and then picks up DD and cooks dinner. We only have a 30 min. commute, which helps tremendously. We also have jobs that allow us to work at home after DD goes to bed. While our salaries are very low by DC standards, we've decided that we like the short commutes and have prioritized dinners together. It's not easy, but it is a priority for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am dying to know the addresses of these various posters who are home in their kitchens, cooking dinner by 5:30 or 6. Where do you live?! that you can have such short hours and such a quick commute?

Some people go into the office at 6 or 7 AM in order to be home at dinner time. Others split their work so that they finish up after dinner or kids' bedtimes. It is not strictly necessary to have short hours and a quick commute in order to have dinner time together.

[Anonymous]

We have dinner together every night, usually around 6:45 and no later than 7:00. It's important to us and we thought the habit should start early so this is just what dinnertime looks like to our family.