I'm living abroad in the UK and I hate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm sorry you're having a hard time. My mom has lived in Ireland for about 14 years now, and it was hard for her until she found a social outlet. For her, it was the American Women's Club. She made friends who helped her navigate her new home and she got busy doing volunteer work. There are American Women's Clubs in many cities, and also some international women's groups. See what you can find close to you - it's hard to feel at home without a bit of a social support system.

So basically you have to become friends with American women because those are the only friendly ones? LOL. What a sad commentary on the British (NP here, btw)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The people are rude, the service is bad, the food is bad, you pay more for everything. I am a friendly and polite, respectful person (not a "loud, annoying American). And all anyone ever cares about is how much money they can get out of me. It's exhausting. And the road are not maintained. I had an accident when tripping in a cracked sidewalk. I was visibly hurt and no one would even move over a little bit so I could walk past on the sidewalk (beside them). I had to walk in the road while they walked on the sidewalk. That is a frequently occurrence - people not moving over so you can both have room on the sidewalk.

That was my experience in the U.K. as well. Except for Indian food. It's fantastic. Surprisingly I found the French to be nicer overall.

Oh, I do love the Indian food here! And they'll even deliver it to your doorstep (hard to find in some US cities). The first thing I did here when I got back was order some takeaway chicken tikka masala.

What part of the UK were you in? And what were some of your experiences?

Bath and London mostly. I don't want to get into too much, but the hi-light had to be getting hit by a car and having the driver yell at me for scaring his passenger. It was my fault (looked wrong way when entering crosswalk) but damn, yelling at someone on the ground after you hit them with a car seems excessive.

And then he started yelling at me that I would need to pay for his broken windshield. It was a bit surreal.

It is very rude in most cultures to not apologize profusely for causing an accident. I was shocked after my first accident in the US when the driver at fault didn't apologize, just nonchalantly asked to exchange insurance information.

In the US, you are taught not to apologize after collisions and just exchange insurance information. For most people, it is very difficult to not apologize, but it is drilled into you by the insurance company (and parents.) You don't want it to be interpreted as an admission of guilt by the other party, insurance co, court, etc.

I know that now.
My point was that the driver in PP's case must have been furious that she didn't apologize. No wonder he reacted like that.

Ummmmm..... no! You're just crazy dude!

[Anonymous]

I lived in the UK for a couple years. It's harder to make friends with Brits than with Americans. Just generally speaking, Brits don't make friends very easily or quickly, even with other Brits. They seem more likely to remain lifelong friends with their friends from school and uni and aren't as into making friends later in life. I think their friendships are truer and more loyal, though, once they make them - less superficial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AMA

Why do you love whining so much?

[Anonymous]

OP, let me give you a different perspective which is in line with much of what you say.

I am British and moved to the US several decades ago after being given an offer that I could not refuse! I was supposed to stay for just a couple of years but my employer said they would help me get a green card, retained an immigration lawyer on my behalf and after a couple of years I was given a green card and subsequently became a citizen.

The different perspective I referred to above: the culture shock I went through was just how service oriented businesses are in the US, how polite people are especially at department stores and restaurants and just about any type of business. I found Americans I worked with to be friendly and had no hesitation in inviting me to a bbq at their house, etc. It really was quite amazing how welcoming they were. One thing that may have helped me is that Americans generally are Anglophiles and my very English accent went down well - though today my accent is probably a mix of American and English. When I visit England I am told I have an American accent and over here they tell me that I have a British accent. But a British accent really has helped me both at work and socially though - unlike many of my compatriots - I never go on about how great life was in the UK, because quite frankly, I enjoy a far higher standard of living here than I did there. This higher standard of living applies to so many facets of life some of them you have named: a/c, central heating, the cost of living, etc.

My final comment pertains to health care. I am entirely familiar with the NHS and I will tell you that for someone who does not have any insurance or has inadequate insurance, there is nothing better than the NHS but for those who do have good insurance in the US, the overall standard of medical care especially if you are hospitalized is way better here.It is still the norm in much of the UK under NHS to end up in a ward if you are hospitalized - as opposed to a private or semi-private room here! I can give you specific instances of relatives who went through endless waits for relatively routine procedures eg knee replacements and pretty much any elective surgery. But the point that will best illustrate the NHS scene is that the most sought after employee benefit in the UK is private insurance - which would hardly be the case if the NHS was all that it was made out to be by some over there and here. This is not to say that health care here does not need reform because it does.

So, I am one grateful person and my decision to emigrate and settle down in the US is one of the best decisions that I ever made. BTW, when I was looking at moving here permanently relatives and friends were horrified and the disparaging comments about the US and Americans were relentless. To this day when I tell people there about how life in the US is good, there is an attitude of disbelief but then the British generally react disparagingly about other nationalities as well with the French and Germans getting the brunt of the criticism - though not nearly as much as Americans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly amazes me how many people who have NEVER lived in a place feel qualified to weigh in and claim there are absolutely NO cultural differences and blame it all on the OP. That's a dead giveaway for someone who has really not stepped out of their comfort zone much in life. Or who is extremely socially dense and unaware

Exactly. When I first started traveling and living abroad, I was sooo open to the experience. All the differences were fascinating and beautiful. Now, I just want my American-sized large coffee at an American price. I want air conditioning (and I want Europe to stop pretending it doesn't get hot in the summer. IT HAPPENS EVERY SUMMER.) I want appliances that aren't built for a single person. I want people to shower every day. Now that I'm indisputably well traveled, I am more American than I've ever been.

I want people to stop pretending that Europe does not have air conditioners and big appliances. I live in West London and I have an American size fridge-freezer, an AC and no one has ever called me a c****. People really do shower here every day believe it or not. I have been here for eight years. Although I do hate American-sized large tasteless coffee, so you can keep that.

Most of the things you've listed are stereotypes often perpetrated by people who never lived in a country/region. Like people who never lived in Russia think Russians drink vodka for breakfast and there are bears walking down the streets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, let me give you a different perspective which is in line with much of what you say.

I am British and moved to the US several decades ago after being given an offer that I could not refuse! I was supposed to stay for just a couple of years but my employer said they would help me get a green card, retained an immigration lawyer on my behalf and after a couple of years I was given a green card and subsequently became a citizen.

The different perspective I referred to above: the culture shock I went through was just how service oriented businesses are in the US, how polite people are especially at department stores and restaurants and just about any type of business. I found Americans I worked with to be friendly and had no hesitation in inviting me to a bbq at their house, etc. It really was quite amazing how welcoming they were. One thing that may have helped me is that Americans generally are Anglophiles and my very English accent went down well - though today my accent is probably a mix of American and English. When I visit England I am told I have an American accent and over here they tell me that I have a British accent. But a British accent really has helped me both at work and socially though - unlike many of my compatriots - I never go on about how great life was in the UK, because quite frankly, I enjoy a far higher standard of living here than I did there. This higher standard of living applies to so many facets of life some of them you have named: a/c, central heating, the cost of living, etc.

My final comment pertains to health care. I am entirely familiar with the NHS and I will tell you that for someone who does not have any insurance or has inadequate insurance, there is nothing better than the NHS but for those who do have good insurance in the US, the overall standard of medical care especially if you are hospitalized is way better here.It is still the norm in much of the UK under NHS to end up in a ward if you are hospitalized - as opposed to a private or semi-private room here! I can give you specific instances of relatives who went through endless waits for relatively routine procedures eg knee replacements and pretty much any elective surgery. But the point that will best illustrate the NHS scene is that the most sought after employee benefit in the UK is private insurance - which would hardly be the case if the NHS was all that it was made out to be by some over there and here. This is not to say that health care here does not need reform because it does.

So, I am one grateful person and my decision to emigrate and settle down in the US is one of the best decisions that I ever made. BTW, when I was looking at moving here permanently relatives and friends were horrified and the disparaging comments about the US and Americans were relentless. To this day when I tell people there about how life in the US is good, there is an attitude of disbelief but then the British generally react disparagingly about other nationalities as well with the French and Germans getting the brunt of the criticism - though not nearly as much as Americans.

This is all a wonderful read and so elucidating and helpful. Thank you so much for giving your perspective, which seems much more informed than most of the posters here. It was really interesting to read.

I was wondering... do you have any idea why the British have more dislike for Americans over other nationalities? It does seem strange to me since most Americans, as you said, quite like the British.

[Anonymous]

What I ran into in France was that while people did shower every day, they tended to wear the same clothes a few times. Of course this is a huge generalization, but maybe the OP has encountered that a few times. People in Europe tend to have fewer clothes, smaller washers, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I ran into in France was that while people did shower every day, they tended to wear the same clothes a few times. Of course this is a huge generalization, but maybe the OP has encountered that a few times. People in Europe tend to have fewer clothes, smaller washers, etc.

no dryers either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you - I lived for several years in the U.K., and location is important. The best bit of advice I can give you is try to think how you might love like a British person rather than an American person. It can be very expensive to try to replicate the American lifestyle in the U.K. The other thing is to become a regular somewhere. Once they realize you're not a tourist, some of the doors open to you.

I think I know what you mean, but can you give me some examples? I walk everywhere here or take a bus. I don't drive here. I actually found it fun incorporating aspects of the British lifestyle (at first). But now everything feels overly complicate.

I'm in southeast England (Kent). What part did you live in? I've thought about maybe frequenting a neighborhood pub, but I don't really drink. Maybe a coffee shop? I'm not sure. But that's a good idea. I'm taking some graduate level classes here starting next week, so that might help.

Things like - you don't try to buy jugs of orange juice for breakfast, you think about buying things in different quantities, you figure out that people actually eat premade sandwiches from Sainsbury's and they're not half bad and the price is reasonable. Don't do conversions in your head - figure that a pound buys you in pounds what a dollar gets you in dollars and read the prices that way.

A pub is a good idea, and don't forget most pubs serve some kind of food. In my case, in Oxfordshire, there was a little restaurant in it town, which is overrun by tourists in the summer. We would go sometimes and in the beginning the service would be kind of surly. Then we popped in one Tuesday night in the middle of February and really started chatting with the server. It came out that we lived there and weren't tourists who would disappear, and suddenly we were recognized when we went in and we had people to talk to.

Join an activity or a society that does something you like. I joined a music group, any my DH did a sport. Also, if you are work eligible, get a job.

The orange juice comment is obscure. I'm not sure what you mean. I can get all my groceries delivered by Tesco for a few pound a month. I can buy a jug of orange juice for a couple pounds and have it delivered to me. And I don't like the premade sandwiches. It's must more cost effective and tastes better to make my own at home. Money isn't really an issue. I just use my CC for everything and leave it to them to do the conversions.

Hi OP, you stated that people are only interested in how much money they can get from you. In the above post, you mentioned money in every sentence. Perhaps that is why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, let me give you a different perspective which is in line with much of what you say.

I am British and moved to the US several decades ago after being given an offer that I could not refuse! I was supposed to stay for just a couple of years but my employer said they would help me get a green card, retained an immigration lawyer on my behalf and after a couple of years I was given a green card and subsequently became a citizen.

The different perspective I referred to above: the culture shock I went through was just how service oriented businesses are in the US, how polite people are especially at department stores and restaurants and just about any type of business. I found Americans I worked with to be friendly and had no hesitation in inviting me to a bbq at their house, etc. It really was quite amazing how welcoming they were. One thing that may have helped me is that Americans generally are Anglophiles and my very English accent went down well - though today my accent is probably a mix of American and English. When I visit England I am told I have an American accent and over here they tell me that I have a British accent. But a British accent really has helped me both at work and socially though - unlike many of my compatriots - I never go on about how great life was in the UK, because quite frankly, I enjoy a far higher standard of living here than I did there. This higher standard of living applies to so many facets of life some of them you have named: a/c, central heating, the cost of living, etc.

My final comment pertains to health care. I am entirely familiar with the NHS and I will tell you that for someone who does not have any insurance or has inadequate insurance, there is nothing better than the NHS but for those who do have good insurance in the US, the overall standard of medical care especially if you are hospitalized is way better here.It is still the norm in much of the UK under NHS to end up in a ward if you are hospitalized - as opposed to a private or semi-private room here! I can give you specific instances of relatives who went through endless waits for relatively routine procedures eg knee replacements and pretty much any elective surgery. But the point that will best illustrate the NHS scene is that the most sought after employee benefit in the UK is private insurance - which would hardly be the case if the NHS was all that it was made out to be by some over there and here. This is not to say that health care here does not need reform because it does.

So, I am one grateful person and my decision to emigrate and settle down in the US is one of the best decisions that I ever made. BTW, when I was looking at moving here permanently relatives and friends were horrified and the disparaging comments about the US and Americans were relentless. To this day when I tell people there about how life in the US is good, there is an attitude of disbelief but then the British generally react disparagingly about other nationalities as well with the French and Germans getting the brunt of the criticism - though not nearly as much as Americans.

This is all a wonderful read and so elucidating and helpful. Thank you so much for giving your perspective, which seems much more informed than most of the posters here. It was really interesting to read.

I was wondering... do you have any idea why the British have more dislike for Americans over other nationalities? It does seem strange to me since most Americans, as you said, quite like the British.

I really don't know the reason for this. I think the British know that Americans enjoy a far higher standard of living generally and so they try and knock them for lacking culture, being boorish, the gun culture, being overly materialistic and now, of course, they have Trump as a reason and before Trump there was GWB! But what I do know is that among my British compatriots - some of whom came here for employment reasons and others who married Americans - they happily live here even though they go on about how great life was in the UK. I know of only one person who actually went back and that was after spending several decades in the US.

[Anonymous]

As someone who also lived in Britain I will tell you what really irritates the British and that's when Americans make snide comments or jokes about teeth or British food being terrible or how America defeated Britain in the Revolutionary War as if they ever cared, or how America saved Britain's ass during WWII while completely ignoring that Britain literally fought the war single handedly for two years before the US joined, or the women are ugly, or that it's still a class ridden society with toffee ruling the roost and cheeky cockneys everywhere, or that the British are still obsessed with empire and imperial decline. You get the idea. I loved living in Britain and I'm a proud American as well but there's definitely an element of arrogant jingoism that can manifest itself among some Americans and many British have seen that enough times. So if you complain about arrogant British people sneering at Americans, remember it goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who also lived in Britain I will tell you what really irritates the British and that's when Americans make snide comments or jokes about teeth or British food being terrible or how America defeated Britain in the Revolutionary War as if they ever cared, or how America saved Britain's ass during WWII while completely ignoring that Britain literally fought the war single handedly for two years before the US joined, or the women are ugly, or that it's still a class ridden society with toffee ruling the roost and cheeky cockneys everywhere, or that the British are still obsessed with empire and imperial decline. You get the idea. I loved living in Britain and I'm a proud American as well but there's definitely an element of arrogant jingoism that can manifest itself among some Americans and many British have seen that enough times. So if you complain about arrogant British people sneering at Americans, remember it goes both ways.

Huh? I doubt OP is making those kinds of comments (or most halfway socially intelligent people). If that happened often in your social circle, that says more about you than anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who also lived in Britain I will tell you what really irritates the British and that's when Americans make snide comments or jokes about teeth or British food being terrible or how America defeated Britain in the Revolutionary War as if they ever cared, or how America saved Britain's ass during WWII while completely ignoring that Britain literally fought the war single handedly for two years before the US joined, or the women are ugly, or that it's still a class ridden society with toffee ruling the roost and cheeky cockneys everywhere, or that the British are still obsessed with empire and imperial decline. You get the idea. I loved living in Britain and I'm a proud American as well but there's definitely an element of arrogant jingoism that can manifest itself among some Americans and many British have seen that enough times. So if you complain about arrogant British people sneering at Americans, remember it goes both ways.

I agree with this! As a Brit reading this (and living here), parts of this thread annoy me for the reasons mentioned above. I am very happy living here and have mostly met lovely people but I definitely find it annoying when I meet Americans who make comments along the lines of the above. I just smile and say "Yes, everything is better here in America" and leave it at that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people are rude, the service is bad, the food is bad, you pay more for everything. I am a friendly and polite, respectful person (not a "loud, annoying American). And all anyone ever cares about is how much money they can get out of me. It's exhausting. And the road are not maintained. I had an accident when tripping in a cracked sidewalk. I was visibly hurt and no one would even move over a little bit so I could walk past on the sidewalk (beside them). I had to walk in the road while they walked on the sidewalk. That is a frequently occurrence - people not moving over so you can both have room on the sidewalk.

That was my experience in the U.K. as well. Except for Indian food. It's fantastic. Surprisingly I found the French to be nicer overall.

Oh, I do love the Indian food here! And they'll even deliver it to your doorstep (hard to find in some US cities). The first thing I did here when I got back was order some takeaway chicken tikka masala.

What part of the UK were you in? And what were some of your experiences?

Bath and London mostly. I don't want to get into too much, but the hi-light had to be getting hit by a car and having the driver yell at me for scaring his passenger. It was my fault (looked wrong way when entering crosswalk) but damn, yelling at someone on the ground after you hit them with a car seems excessive.

And then he started yelling at me that I would need to pay for his broken windshield. It was a bit surreal.

That is DESPICABLE!!!! He hit you hard enough to crack your windshield and then yelled at you? OMG!!!! I cannot ever imagine that happening in the US and if it did some passerby would have stopped to help you and be telling him off. That is just... wow.

Horrifying.