DCUM Weblog

Happy New Year to the half dozen or so readers of this blog. I didn't think anyone would bother to read it so I'm thrilled to have even a small number of readers. I'm going to change things up a bit today. I would ordinarily write about the four most active threads of the past week. However, I've already written about all but three of the top ten. With today marking the first day of a new year, I thought I would look at the most active threads of 2022. I'll look at the top 10, but write less about them than I normally do in order to keep this post to a reasonable length.

As is fitting for this sort of countdown list, I'll start in reverse order. In position number 10 of last years most active threads was, drumroll please, a thread titled, "2022 HS Boys Game Results" and posted in the "Lacrosse" forum. This thread was started on March 3 of last year and hasn't been updated since June 17th. But, if you are interested in reading 158 pages about lacrosse game results, we've got you covered.

I've repeatedly written in these posts that I hate generational labels which I consider to be useless designations that obscure more than they reveal. Therefore, I was not at all happy this morning to discover that yesterday's most active thread, posted in the "Off-Topic" forum, was titled "GenX". The title may as well have been "Let's troll Jeff". The original poster asks why writers skip GenX when writing about generations. The first response is partially correct, saying "People are dumb", but a fuller answer would be "generational labels are dumb and anyone who writes about them is intellectually lazy and should be expected to miss things." Obviously I am not going to put much energy into reading this thread, but the posts that I did read suggest that people who consider themselves to be Gen X are used to being ignored and, frankly, they don't care. Actually, they like it that way. Like almost all threads involving generational labels, this one appears to mostly consist of fights between boomers and millennials, which sort of proves the original poster's point. The few other posts I forced myself to read generally focus on the experiences of a small number of individuals and assume that reflects the upbringing of the entire generation. It doesn't, which is why these labels are meaningless.

Yesterday's most active thread dealt with another topic in which I simply don't understand the interest. The thread was titled, "Chastised for not tipping on a to go order" and posted in the "Money and Finances" forum. It seems like there are new threads about tipping every few days on DCUM and I am baffled about why. The original poster of this thread describes going to what was apparently a sit-down restaurant and ordering an order to go at the hostest stand. She was presented with a check, which she paid, and was told that the tip was not included. The original poster ignored that remark and left, returning a few minutes later to pick up her food. As she was leaving the restaurant, the waiter who had taken the order called out to her saying that she hadn't left a tip. The original poster is so angry that she is thinking about calling the manager and complaining. Maybe I didn't get a good night's sleep, but I just can't be bothered with this thread at the moment. Why the hell would anyone give this incident a second thought, let alone start a DCUM thread and consider calling the manager? In many places, restaurant wait staff are not paid the minimum wage and, therefore, tips are an important part of their income. The waiter's behavior was inappropriate, but it wouldn't hurt the original poster to have a bit of empathy and perhaps leave a small tip. At any rate, I know that DCUM posters have strong antipathy toward tipping under most circumstances so I expect this poster to have found plenty support.

Yesterday's most active thread was titled "BIL brought dog that growls at children to Christmas dinner" and originally posted in the "Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers" forum. However, after reading a few posts, I moved the thread to the "Family Relationships" forum because the topic wasn't really about children. The original poster writes that her brother-in-law brought a dog to their Christmas dinner even though he had been told not to. The dog has a tendency to grow at children and when it had previously been brought to the family's Thanksgiving dinner, the original poster spent most of her time trying to protect her children from the dog. This time the dog was kept outside due to the original poster's insistance, though she ended up leaving the dinner early with her baby because of the dog. The original poster is considering reporting the dog to the city and wants to know if this is an overreaction. Initially posters were mostly sympathetic to the original poster though some were confused about what the dog could be reported for and/or whether reporting it would do anything. But, as the original poster revealed more details, posters started to side more with her brother-in-law based on the fact that the dog had been kept outside at Christmas and not growled and any children at that time. Some posters even began questioning the original poster's actions, saying that the root of the issue is that she doesn't like her in-laws and the dog was just a pretext for getting angry. For her part, the original poster is adamant that the dog presented a threat and that she was acting solely in the interest of safety and any suggestion otherwise is "gaslighting", a term with which anyone reading this thread will become quite familiar.

The most active thread yesterday was titled, "Southwest Airlines in a nationwide meltdown" and posted in the "Travel Discussion" forum. As the title makes clear, the thread is about the mass cancellations that affected Southwest Airlines over the past days. The thread is full of horror stories by posters who have had flights cancelled by the airline. One poster told of having their children bumped from a flight while the parents retained their seats (which they eventually gave up). A couple of posters tried to excuse the airline by blaming the weather, but as other posters were quick to point out, cancellations by other airlines were nowhere close to the level of Southwest. One poster attempted to blame the passengers themselves for choosing to travel during a busy time for airlines, again ignoring the fact that other airlines were not suffering similar difficulties. In fact, the thread appears to have attracted an inordinate number of obtuse posters who were unable or unwilling to grasp the full extent of the problems affecting Southwest, which may take a week or more to resolve. These posters essentially trolled those suffering from flight cancellations by suggesting they had some sort of superpowers that would have saved them from from similar problems. Some posters, losing hope that Southwest would come through for them, discussed alternative means of travel. In addition, there was a general discussion of why so many travellers prefer Southwest.

The most active thread yesterday was titled, "When you didn’t 'do enough' as a host" and posted in the "Family Relationships" forum. The original poster is upset because she hosted her family's Christmas celebration and was told by her sister that she had done almost everything wrong. The start time was too late, the food was wrong, and other issues. The original poster simply wants to vent. Posters were shocked that a guest would be so rude, though there is some agreement that sisters can be especially difficult at times. There were many requests for more details so that those responding could better understand the situation. After the original poster revealed that the dinner consisted of "heavy apps", almost all of the discussion turned toward whether that was suitable for a meal. Many posters thought that heavy apps simply wouldn't be sufficient, though that didn't necessarily justify such criticism. Other posters were big fans of heavy apps. While the heavy app debate raged, the original poster apparently took a nap, only to return and express surprise at the number of responses her holiday dinner thread had provoked. The main takeaway for me from this thread is that I have no idea what is meant by "heavy apps". One poster, who was not the original poster, tried to explain but basically described an entire regular meal. That only added to the confusion and, in the end, neither I nor several other posters were left any wiser.

Today I'll look at the most active threads over the weekend, skipping any that were previously discussed. The most active thread was titled, "Anyone else with gift disappointment?" and posted in the "Off-Topic" forum. This type of thread is practically an annual tradition on DCUM. While the thread is supposed to be about disappointment with gifts, there are probably more posts scolding those complaining for not being grateful for the good things they have in life. There was not much sympathy expressed for those who were upset. Many posters related that they had bought themselves gifts and were satisfied with that. Others said they and their spouses had agreed on gifts beforehand. Some of the moms complained that they had expended considerable energy trying to get the perfect gifts for others, only to be overlooked themselves. In general, husbands come out looking pretty poorly in this thread, a perception to which a couple of the men posting owned up.

On Sundays I look at the most active threads of the past week. My habit is to skip threads that were already included in one of the daily posts and, this week, all but two of the top ten most active threads were already discussed. As a result, I am limiting today's posts to those two.

One thread that was not previously mentioned was posted in the "Off-Topic" forum and titled, "We took down our Christmas Cards today". For those with a taste for the absurd or who believe that real life has surpassed satire, this thread is for you. The original poster is so disappointed that he has only received five Christmas cards that he decided to remove them from his mantel rather than continue to suffer the humiliation caused by such a small number. Mind you, this thread was posted on December 18th, a date on which many might still be in the process of preparing cards. While I wouldn't exactly say that the original poster's lament generated a wave of sympathy, many of the initial replies were supportive in the sense that they attempted to provide explanations for the disappointing number of cards and encouragement that the original poster might still receive additional cards in coming days. Several posters explained that many people have given up on cards and chosen other ways to communicate holiday greetings. The original poster was not mollified and posted again saying how hurt he was that he no longer mattered to those who didn't send him a card. The original poster also demonstrated somewhat of a vindictive streak towards those who didn't send him cards, prompting replies to become less friendly.

The most active thread yesterday was the Christmas version of a thread that was one of the most active at Thanksgiving. Titled, "Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022" and posted in the "Family Relationships" forum, the purpose of the thread apparently is to recount petty vents involving the holidays. I'm not a fan of this genre of threads which consists almost entirely of whining about, well, petty things. It would be one thing if the complaints were funny, but based on the few posts I bothered to read, they aren't. If your idea of fun on Christmas Eve is reading 14 pages of posts about mother-in-laws bringing opened milk containers to dinner or sending you unwanted gifts, then you are in luck because DCUM has come through for you. If you, like me, would rather have teeth pulled then read such a thread, then we are also lucky because there are plenty of other threads for us to read. Because that is exactly what I intend to do, I have nothing more to say about this thread.

The Sex Pistols famously broke up following a concert at San Francisco's Winterland Ballroom that ended with Johnny Rotten laying on the stage and asking the audience "do you ever feel like you've been cheated?" For some reason, I thought of that moment when I realized that yesterday's most active thread was another Harry and Meghan topic. This one, posted in the "Entertainment and Pop Culture" forum, was titled, "New Netflix documentary: 'Live to Lead' from Harry and Meghan". Summarizing a thread about the Sussexes is fairly easy. All you need are the words "Meghan", "crazies", and "locked". The rest is filler. Even so, that makes it no less trying on my patience. As the title suggests, this thread is focused on a new Netflix documentary series hosted by Harry and Meghan. The series consists of interviews of world leaders conducted some years ago. Apparently, whoever owned the rights to the interviews repurposed them for Netflix. The fact that Harry and Meghan had nothing to do with the interviews is a major point of discussion in this thread. Many posters praised the interviews but, of course, arguments about H & M dominate the thread. As has been well established by prior threads, Meghan is a magnet for haters who, despite my best efforts, could not be kept out of the thread. I locked it when things reached the point that the couple's fans were being compared to "MAGA Trimpers" (sic). When we launched this parenting forum many years ago, managing countless threads about the Duke & Duchess of Sussex was not part of our business plan. So, yes, I feel cheated.