Wednesday's Most Active Threads

The most active thread yesterday was titled, "Rant: ‘you look amazing’" and posted in the "Expectant and Postpartum Moms" forum. The original poster is a new mother and, as such, is "exhausted and struggling". Nevertheless, "at least 10 times" other people have told her that she "looks amazing" or something similar. Because this compliment does not match how she is feeling, it is awkward for her and she is annoyed by it. She ends her post by saying, "Don’t comment on anyone’s body ever, but especially a hormonal new mom." This is a 12 page thread and I don't have time to read the entire thing. But, obviously a thread of this length is going to contain a lot of different opinions. The first thing that I will note is that the original poster does not seem to have returned to the thread after the first post. However, another poster who feels very much the same way as the original poster took over and posted nearly 30 times. So the original poster's viewpoint was very well represented even if she herself was not. The basic argument of the original poster and the poster who agreed with her is that by focusing on a women's appearance, her friends and acquaintances were missing the physical stress and emotional challenges the she was undergoing. Because they looked good, people assumed that they must feel good and that simply was not the case. Moreover, they don't even agree that they actually looked amazing. They concede that they lost weight and they attribute the compliments to that and nothing more. In their opinion, others are focusing exclusively on weight and missing the signs that they are somewhat in distress. Some posters are concerned that the original poster may be suffering from postpartum depression and urge her to talk to her doctor about it. Others explain that people are simply trying to be nice. Moreover, they say, some women appreciate the compliments. But a number of posters support the other two women in arguing that comments about people's bodies just shouldn't be made. I suspect that there is somewhat of a generational divide on this issue with younger people generally being more sensitive about comments about appearances. This is reflected in one post in which the poster stated that only "old women" think that others appreciate being told that they look amazing. My thinking is that a lot of people are more or less on autopilot when it comes to informal conversations. It might be common to ask another person how they are doing, but only in unusual circumstances does anyone really want to hear a litany of things bothering the other person. Telling a new mother that she looks amazing is a simple way of offering reassurance and support. Almost no one is going to tell a woman that she looks stressed and haggard. The bigger problem is not listening. Several of the posters describe replying to compliments by explaining the struggles they are encountering and having that shrugged off. In many cases, people simply might not want to deal with it or may not know how to react to it. But, that, more than the compliment, is where the focus on improvement should probably be.

The next most active thread was posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum and titled, "What do liberal arts majors do?". The original poster is worried about the job opportunities for a student at a top 20 liberal arts college who is majoring in "some branch of literature". Specifically she wants to know what career path exists that will lead to good earnings. This touches on something about which I have previously commented which is the tendency on DCUM to view college education almost as little more than glorified vocational training. College, in this way of thinking, must provide a specific skillset necessary for a great job. ROI, or return on investment, is the operative metric. In contrast, the traditional liberal arts view with which I, and apparently many of those responding, grew up is that college should expose students to a broad range of topics and develop thinking, analytical, and communications skills. These talents form the foundation upon which a number of more specific expertise can be built. The liberal arts tradition has fallen very much out of vogue lately and, as in this thread, many of its detractors are quick to suggest that the only future for liberal arts graduates is working as a barista at Starbucks. That seems to be the fear of the original poster as well. But, as many posters in this thread demonstrate, that is not actually true. Many of those responding are earning very high salaries and employed in prestigious positions, often in fields that might be surprising for liberal arts majors. Some posters say that connections made in their top-ranking liberal arts colleges opened doors for them. Others say that they benefited from studying subjects that would not immediately suggest practical application. For instance, multiple posters said that studying literature had given them insight into the human mind and condition, leading to important people skills. Very commonly, posters cited the benefits that are traditionally attributed to a liberal arts education. For instance, as one poster wrote, "Amazingly, the ability to analyze, synthesize, and communicate effectively in writing translates to success in many different environments." One theme that runs throughout the thread is that a liberal arts education is not the end product, rather it is more a launchpad. Whereas a STEM graduate might finish the last day of college fully prepared for a comfortable job, a liberal arts graduate will likely have a few more steps to obtain the same sort of salary. As one poster, quoting an expert in the field, put it, "the path to success requires a certain amount of nimbleness." The debate could be viewed as liberal arts providing a broad but perhaps somewhat shallow grasp of a wide range of topics versus more techical majors that provide narrow but deep preparation. The liberal arts major may be more likely to seize and succeed at unexpected opportunities and forge their own path, a capability that is useful in an ever changing world.

Third was a thread titled, "APS School Board Chair Drama" and posted in the "VA Public Schools other than FCPS" forum. The original poster asks if others have seen a post on "AEM" about an attempt to prevent a current Arlington School Board member from becoming the Board's chair. The original poster asks if anyone knows the details of what's going on. "APS" is Arlington Public Schools. "AEM" refers to the Arlington Education Matters Facebook group. Just last week I wrote about another thread that was based on an AEM post. There has long been a tendency for posters to read something on AEM and then hustle to DCUM to post about it. I presume that this is so that they can do so anonymously. This is a strange thread because nobody really seems to know what is true and what is not. I know nothing about the Arlington School Board and its internal politics. Based on what responses in the thread say, the five member board rotates the chair position regularly, filling it with a current board member. A current member who, based on responses in the thread is very popular, is due to take over as chair for the next term. However, according to the AEM post, there is an effort to prevent her from doing so. It is not clear whether this campaign in fact exists or, if it does, who is participating in it. As such, the thread is little more than rumors and conjecture. Apparently two members of the current board did not run for reelection and will be leaving shortly when their terms expire. That leaves only three members — one of whom is the member in question — who have a vested interest in the chair position. Therefore, the list of suspects is very short. Many posters thought that if this effort actually exists, it is a bad look for the members behind it. But because the member allegedly being blocked has not made any public effort to confirm or deny the campaign against her, some posters believe the campaign of rumors might be orchestrated by her supporters. This, they argue, if true would be a significant blemish on her reputation. To be clear, the theory that materialized is that a board member who was apparently going to get the postion essentially by default without doing anything is alleged to have created a conspiracy theory that tarnishes her colleagues in order to provoke public support for herself. This suggestion, of which I — without knowing anything — find very unbelievable, contests with the original claim that board members were conspiring to prevent the rightful chair presumptive from assuming the position. Who knew that the Arlington School Board would turn into "Game of Thrones"? This thread is notable for the posts by multiple anonymous posters who claim to have "inside knowledge" but who completely disagree with each other. Whatever they they are inside of, its not the same thing. If there was ever a thread that needed a Costco-sized supply of popcorn, it is this one.

The final thread that I will discuss today was posted in the "Political Discussion" forum and titled, "Norway, Spain and Ireland recognize Palestinian state". The original poster links to an Associated Press article reporting that Norway, Spain, and Ireland have all recognized a Palestinian state and that Israel is very angry about this. Every time I discuss a thread about the Middle East, it results in people calling me names. So, get your typing fingers ready, I guess. Needless to say, folks are very divided on this topic. Moreover, it tends to be viewed as a zero-sum game. What's good for one side is necessarily bad for the other side. Since these three countries recognizing a Palestinian state is viewed as good for the Palestinians, it is interpreted as bad for Israel. As such, Israel's supporters rush to criticize, condemn, and mock the three European states. Personally, I wonder why this is a big deal. Even before this, 142 countries recognized a Palestinian state. What difference will three more make? It certainly will not change anything on the ground and, while symbolic gestures are probably welcome, I think those under fire in Gaza would much prefer something more concrete. Perhaps a ceasefire or some food? But, this move does once again give the Israeli government the opportunity to paint itself as the victim, an opportunity that it certainly didn't let go to waste. The thread itself turned to a debate about history. Where the Israel-Palestine conflict is concerned, history simultaneously explains everything and explains nothing. Yes, the Palestinians rejected the initial partition plan that would have given them a state. Yes, that plan was biased and gave significantly more land to the smaller number of Jews than it did to the larger number of Palestinians. Each side has a case but why does that matter today? How could the Palestinians' perfectly understandable action back then in anyway justify what is happening to them today? The identities of both people are tied to traumatic history. For the Israelis, that is the Holocaust. For the Palestinians, the Nakba. Each uses the trauma of the past to justify inflicting trauma today. Everything that happens today is viewed through the prism of the past. The way forward probably involves leaving the past in the past and focusing on the future. Otherwise, the past will simply be repeated. In this regard, Norway, Spain, and Ireland may be taking a step forward. But, if so, it is the smallest of steps possible. Again, it is purely symbolic with no practical impact whatsoever. I wonder if the people of Gaza will even learn about it and, if so, whether they will care. The move highlights the increasing isolation of the United States on the issue. President Joe Biden can mumble all he wants about support for a Palestinian state, but he is well behind and almost alone when it comes to recognizing one.