Thursday's Most Active Threads

Yesterday's most active thread was once again the snow day thread in the "Fairfax County Public Schools (FCPS)" forum that has led almost every day this week. Yesterday, that thread gained nearly 800 new posts. But cheer up FCPS parents, schools are opening today, albeit two hours late. The next most active thread yesterday was the thread about the Los Angeles fires which I've also discussed already. Therefore, I'll start with yesterday's third most active thread which was titled, "So you let your kids read at the dining table" and posted in the "Elementary School-Aged Kids" forum. I must have missed some sort of backstory to this thread because I am not sure to whom the allegation in the title is addressed. At any rate, in the body of the post, the original poster asks whether those being referenced allow their kids to read during meals. As it turns out, some posters do allow their kids to read during meals. Some posters even have "reading meals" in which everyone brings a book to the table. Some of these posters claim that parents modeling reading helps encourage their kids to read. Other posters allow kids to read during casual meals or when the child is either eating alone or only one or two others. These posters prohibit reading for formal meals and family dinners. Others, of course, don't allow reading at the table under any circumstances. These posters consider such a thing to be rude and, in one case, "the lowest of low class." This thread is mostly characterized by a flame war between those who allow and those who don't allow reading at the table. One of the posters who doesn't allow reading claims that those who allow reading are raising "brats" who are "uncivilized" and lack manners. The pro-reading posters almost all emphasize that they only allow reading books or magazines, no phones or tablets. They counter the accusations that they are raising brats by arguing that it is better than kids playing games on phones. Those against reading at the table, of course, would not allow game playing either. The no-reading crowd sees a lot of value in learning good manners, suggesting that those without good manners will lose opportunities later in life. They also argue that meals should be spent talking with each other rather than being isolated behind a book. Some of the pro-reading posters insist that books can help stimulate conversation and that they talk to their children about what they are reading. Some of these posters also offer an alternative view of manners. Rather than viewing manners as one set of rules that is followed everywhere, they argue that different manners are appropriate for different situations. They say that their kids know that it is acceptable to read during a casual meal at their own home, but also know that reading would not be appropriate when eating at someone else's home.

The next most active thread was the one about Montgomery County Public Schools having a delayed opening yesterday. That was the first thread I discussed in yesterday's blog post, so I'll skip it today. After that was a thread posted in the "Political Discussion" forum and titled, "Jimmy Carter has passed away". While this thread was among the most active threads yesterday, it wasn't even started this year. It was started on December 29 when it was announced that former President Jimmy Carter had died at the age of 100. The reason that the thread was so active yesterday is that Carter's funeral was held here in Washington, DC. Funerals are normally a time when the deceased is remembered and honored. While Carter is not normally viewed as having been a very effective President, he is widely admired for his post-presidential actions. However, DCUM is far from traditional when it comes to funerals, or at least this one. Instead of honoring Carter, posters were more interested in gossiping about those in the audience. All currently living Presidents were in attendance. That left former President Barack Obama sitting next to President-elect, cult leader, and convicted felon Donald Trump. The two seemed to get on well, laughing and smiling at each other while having an apparently engaging chat. MAGA posters were eager to bring attention to what appeared to be a lack of warmth between President Joe Biden and First Lady Dr. Jill Biden on the one hand and Vice President Kamala Harris and Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff on the other. But that was nothing compared to the Pences and the Trumps. While former Vice President Mike Pence stood and shook hands with Donald Trump, former Second Lady Karen Pence remained seated and ignored both Donald and Melania Trump. It looked like Melania extended her hand but was, again, ignored by Karen Pence. Michelle Obama and Dick Cheney missed the event entirely. This led to considerable gossip about them and speculation concerning why they were not there. The MAGA discourse surrounding the Obamas is really unbelievable and eventually led to me locking this thread. To hear the MAGAs tell it, Barack Obama has been the shadow President for the past four years and Michelle is currently in the process of divorcing him due to his tolerance of political corruption. The same group wants us to believe that Donald and Melania have a perfectly normal relationship despite the fact that Melania skips out on anything that Donald hasn't managed to get her contractually obligated to do. It will be interesting to see how those upset that former First Lady Michelle Obama didn't show up at a funeral will react when the incoming First Lady Melania Trump doesn't show up at the White House.

Next was the Blake Lively thread that keeps lingering among the most active threads. I have no idea what is keeping that thread going. After that was a thread titled, "No rest for the weary moms" and posted in the "General Parenting Discussion" forum. The original poster says that her kids, aged 4 - 9, are home (probably due to snow days), she is sick, and she needs to get work done for her job. Her husband has a full work schedule during the day. She says that she is "drowning", trying to take the kids sledding, getting work done, and caring for the house all while dealing with being ill. She suggests that thread is mostly a vent and she may not have been expecting anything more than words of comfort. But DCUM posters are never shy about offering advice, or words of criticism for that matter. While several posters limited their comments to offering support or sympathy, many had ideas for making things better. The most common suggestion was for the original poster to prioritize what she would try to accomplish. Posters didn't necessarily agree on how things should be prioritized, but the idea was the same. For instance, some posters felt the kids could be allowed to use screens instead of being taken sledding. Some suggested that the original poster take a sick day from work. Others suggested ordering food instead of cooking. Another suggestion was to let house chores go for a day or two. A number of posters also wondered why the original poster's husband couldn't do more. The original poster explained that he helps when he can, but his job keeps him tied up most of the day. A couple of posters suggested hiring a high school student whose school was probably closed to come help with the kids. Some posters thought that the 9-year-old could be asked to supervise the younger one(s). Other posters found plenty of nits to pick with the original poster. Some thought that she was making things more difficult than they needed to be. Others thought that her problems were not that bad, and she really didn't have room to complain. One particularly level-headed poster offered what I thought was a very helpful post on the sixth page. That poster reminded everyone that for most people, the days after a long holiday are full of work, and it is not easy to take sick days at that time. Nevertheless, children get sick, and they make the adults in their lives sick. As such, families must accept that illness will interfere frequently. She urged the original poster to accept that this might mean that holidays and snow days could not be picture-perfect. The poster also advocated non-screen activities for children and gave examples of "reading, crafting, doing worksheets, and playing together" along with a minimal amount of screen time.

The final thread that I will discuss today was posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum and titled, "He’s not a breadwinner". The original poster says that her boyfriend is an "amazing man" with a long list of positive traits. However, he is "not a breadwinner". He hates his job, is underemployed, and lacks ambition. They are in their 30s and want children as soon as possible. The original poster makes a decent salary and could probably manage to support them, but she never saw herself as the primary earner. She wonders if others who have followed such a path have had regrets. Not long ago, one of the threads about which I wrote was about women having a harder time dating because, culturally, the man in the relationship should earn more than the woman. Because women are earning college degrees more often than men, and hence earning higher salaries, the pool of eligible men is decreasing. This thread seems to support that theory. Poster after poster responds urging the original poster not to consider having children with this man or even marrying him. Posters seem to have very little respect for the guy. To be fair, not all of this is due to his low income. Rather, posters seem more put off by his lack of ambition. For reasons that are not quite clear, they don't see him as a successful stay-at-home-dad or as a very supportive partner. The original poster says that she doesn't want him to be a stay-at-home-dad in any case. A couple of female posters who are the primary breadwinners in their families weigh in to say that the arrangement can work, even if the man is disorganized. It seems that the common thread in the successful relationships is that the man was very emotionally supportive of his partner. Several of these posters said that they were able to be more successful in their careers because of the emotional support they received. Throughout this thread, posters claimed that the original poster had posted threads like this before, and one suggested that she was making things up. I decided to check into the veracity of these allegations. What I found is that after starting this thread, the poster started another thread in which she discussed her 4th-grade daughter. I am surprised that this daughter didn't come up in this thread, and it makes her desire to immediately have children somewhat suspect. As far as the original poster's posts in this thread, they all seemed consistent and sincere, but that might not have actually been the case. In the end, I am left wondering if this entire thread was a troll.