Tuesday's Most Active Threads

The two most active threads yesterday were ones that I've already discussed and will, therefore, skip today. The third most active thread was titled, "London is HORRIBLE" was originally posted in the "Off-Topic" forum but I moved it to the "Travel Discussion" forum. Frankly, however, I am not sure which forum is most appropriate for this thread. The original poster epically rants about her dislike of London, bashing the housing (too cold and expensive), the residents (mean, lazy, and drunk), and the food (it sucks). She then concludes that DC is 100 times better than London. A number of those responding have experience living in London and while they agree with the original poster in some respects, they disagree in others. Some posters argue that the original poster, while living in an expensive part of London, is not in an area that shows London's strongest attributes. Many make suggestions for areas that might not only be less expensive, but considerably more enjoyable. As for the food, posters again suggest that the original poster has missed the best examples. One poster said that it takes a special effort to miss the good food that London offers. The Indian food is almost universally praised. Other ethnic foods get mixed reviews, however. Several of the negative characteristics the original poster described are brushed off as normal in Europe and not exclusive to London. One advantage that nobody can deny that London has over DC is the lack of guns, though the original poster did complain about muggings. Those responding also repeatedly praised London's museums, though DC is no slouch when it comes to museums either. Posters were also almost unanimous is praising technological advances in Europe such as easy bank transfers that don't exist in the US. At some point the thread devolved to a discussion of British accents and who does or does not pronounce words correctly. One poster provided a fairly accurate assessment of the thread, saying "The thread is very DCUM in terms of lying squarely at the intersection of pretentiousness and parochialism." Another significant point of contention was London's timezone and how that affects the hours of sunlight per day. A number of posters were certain that London has much less daylight than most American cites while other posters were equally sure that is not true. Several posters were concerned that the original poster might be missing an opportunity by not experiencing more of the good aspects of London. Quite a few posters cautioned that living in a city is different than visiting and that it might simply take longer to feel comfortable. There were a number of good suggestions provided to the original poster that might help her increase her appreciation for the city and she seemed open to the advice. So maybe things won't turn out so bad after all.

The next most active thread yesterday was one that, if I remember correctly, was originally posted in the "Elementary School-Aged Kids" before I moved it to the "Sports General Discussion" forum. Titled, "DD Missed Try Outs", the original poster says that her daughter missed a tryout for a sport due to legitimate reasons. The original poster's daughter asked the coach if there were an opportunity for a make-up tryout and was told that the roster was full and there wouldn't be other opportunities. But then her daughter found out that two spots on the team were left open to accomodate two players who were currently injured and couldn't attend the tryout. The original poster wants to know if she should contact that principal or athletic director about this. The reason for missing the tryout was due to the death of the daughter's grandfather and a need to travel to attend his funeral. However, the daughter did not notify the coach before missing the tryout. As a result, most posters are sympathetic to the original poster's daughter, but also understand the coach's point of view. As many posters explain, the two girls who are injured most likely played previously and the coach knew that they would make the team if they were able to tryout. Therefore, he reserved slots for them and filled the rest of the spots with girls from the tryout. If he were to offer the original poster's daughter a slot, he would have to rescind an offer to another player. Alternatively, the coach might have to open tryouts to anyone else who missed the first tryout. None of these are good alternatives. As for how the original poster should respond, very few posters believed there was still a chance of her daughter making the team. Even if the principal or athletic director could be convinced to force the coach to give the original poster's daughter a tryout, he would most likely give her a pro forma tryout and simply say that she wasn't good enough. Therefore, they suggested using this experience as a learning experience and participating on a club team if one is available. My own suggestion would be for the daughter to see if there were a non-roster role available that she could fill such as team manager. That would indicate her interest and commitment and, if a spot opened up for some reason, she might be able to fill that.

Next was a thread titled, "Test results came back positive" and posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. The original poster says that what she thought was a run of the mill yeast infection turned out to be the sexually transmitted disease trichomoniasis. She says she has been monogamous and married for 10 years. Moreover, she had a full STD panel done at the time of her pregnancy 6 years ago. Therefore, she assumes that her husband has had an affair and passed the disease on to her. She says that it is a nightmare thinking about co-parenting and sharing custody of her child but she sees no possibility of reconciliation with her husband after this. Therefore, she asks what steps she should take such as contacting a divorce lawyer or asking her husband to move out. While this forum almost always advises divorce for even relatively minor transgressions, let alone one of this caliber, a number of posters were fairly restrained in their advice. Some wondered whether there were an alternative means of catching the disease other than sex. Others suggested staying married but living separately such as in different bedrooms or parts of the house in order to raise their child together. But, for the most part, the posters recommended divorce and provided information about how best to handle the situation. Most of these posters advised against confronting her husband at this point, though they were of course adamant about ceasing sexual activity. They argued that she should immediately contact a divorce lawyer and follow the lawyer's advice about the next steps. A further recommendation is for finding a therapist. Additional advice included changing the beneficiary on any life insurance or retirement accounts. A number of those responding have been in this situation themselves. They were able to offer both sympathy and helpful advice based on their experiences. One such response was repeatedly commended by other posters. Distracting from the main topic was considerable discussion about STDs in general as well as a number of non-STD diseases. Pages were devoted to arguing about HPV which really has no connection to this thread. Some posters betrayed an ignorance of STDs that might embarrass a teenager while others were determined to split the thinnest of hairs. A couple of posters claim to have first or second hand knowledge of trichomoniasis being spread through non-sexual means, primarily a towel. But, others either believe those accounts to be false or argued that such transmission is almost nonexistent.

The final thread that I will discuss today was posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum. Titled, "UVA OOS vs UF in-state", the original poster's child has apparently been accepted by both the University of Virginia and the University of Florida. They would have to pay out-of-state tuition at UVA, costing them about $70,000 a year. For UF, the original poster indicates that they can pay in-state tuition which is available to grandchildren of Florida residents. Moreover, the original poster lives in the District of Columbia and believes that her child will receive a DC Tuition Assistance Grant (DC TAG). Therefore, the original poster contends that UF will cost less than $10,000 per year. Before I get to the the discussions of the schools themselves, I want to address the original poster's cost assumptions. Several posters in the thread pointed out that the grandparent tuition benefit is a limited program to which students must apply. Unless the original poster has already been awarded this tuition benefit, their family should probably not count on it. Moreover, it appears that the original poster factored in the full $10,000 per year of DC TAG money. However, DC TAG is meant to offset the difference between in-state and out-of-state tuition. If the original poster's child will be paying in-state tuition at Florida, there will be no out-of-state portion to offset and the original poster's child will not receive DC TAG funds. Much of the discussion was based on the original poster's assumptions about cost differences which may not be correct. However, in any scenario of which I can conceive, Florida will be significantly cheaper than UVA, though probably not to the extent that the original poster believes. As far as the debate between universities goes, UVA has a strong fan club in the forum and those posters would choose UVA regardless of cost differences. However, even some posters who themselves graduated from UF or have other types of relationships with the school say that they would choose UVA. They consider it to be a stronger school with a significantly better reputation. Florida is also accused of having its own rabid group of boosters. But virtually none of the pro-Florida posters argued that it is currently the better school. Some argued that it is close enough that the cost difference justifies it as a choice. Others argued that it is up and coming — a contention that others disputed. Some posters took more nuanced positions such as saying the choice depends on the student's specific major and future plans. Discussion of schools in Florida always attracts posters who argue against those universities due to Florida's political climate. While that sort of discusion is limited in this thread, there is some of it.