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Sunday's Most Active Threads

by Jeff Steele last modified Feb 06, 2023 03:12 PM

The topics with the most engagement yesterday included a spouse with ASD, aging in place, gender neutral language, and dating when not "hot".

Yesterday's most active thread was titled, "How do you stay married to an ASD HFA Aspergers husband?" and posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. The original poster writes that her husband was recently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), something that she says explains the problems they have had in their marriage. She wants to stay married but doesn't know how she can do it given the difficulties that she attributes to his condition. She asks if others have made such a relationship work and, if so, how? This is a controversial topic that has come up repeatedly in the last several months. The controversy begins with the name of the condition, something the original poster demonstrates by using three different terms to describe her husband's diagnosis. Traditionally referred to as Asperger's Syndrome, this condition was later referred to as High Functioning Autism, but is now called Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1. Regardless of what it is called, several posters attribute problems in their marriages to the diagnosis. An immediate point of dispute concerns why these women didn't notice the symptoms in their husbands earlier. This leads to a debate about whether those with ASD are able to "mask" or hide their symptoms. This highlights a paradox. Those with ASD are prone to difficulties in social communication and trouble reading social cues. Yet, these same individuals are allegedly capable of faking a persona for for long enough to get married. Some posters don't buy this scenario. Moreover, one poster strongly believes — and "strongly" cannot be emphasized enough — that "ASD" is being wrongly used to describe behaviors that have nothing to do with the condition. In this poster's view, the men being described are not on the spectrum, they are just jerks. Intermixed within these various debates are some helpful suggestions and advice for those involved in such relationships. But, of course, even the lessons posters have learned from their own experience are disputed.

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