Friday's Most Active Threads

When the Covid pandemic led to many people working from home, couples that were used to being apart for much of the day often found themselves together almost all of the time. This was not an easy adjustment for everyone. A thread titled, "DH WFH is a huge turn off" and posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum describes one such example. The original poster explains that she has always worked from home and, prior to the pandemic, her husband went to an office. Since the pandemic, he has worked from home which has led to him staying up later at night, waking up later, showering later, and putting on pajamas earlier in the day. All of this is a huge turn-off to the original poster who has been unsuccessful in convincing her husband to return to his office. Most of those responding are not very sympathetic to the original poster whom they admonish for wanting to work from home while not wanting her husband to have the same arrangement which he clearly enjoys. Some of those responding are supportive of the original poster, often being able to relate because they are in similar circumstances. Several posters offer advice for improving the situation such as ways to get some time apart from one another. Some posters have a hard time finding anything to criticize about the original poster's husband and, therefore, don't find the original poster's anger believable. This actually led to one poster creating a thread in the "Website Feedback" forum asking if the original poster was a troll. I didn't find any evidence of trolling, but I did find that the original poster had sock puppeted a single response. Looking at the thread again today, I see that subsequent to that, the original poster sock puppeted almost exclusively. I still don't think that she is simply trolling. I suspect that she did not appreciate the responses she received and, as such, decided to manufacturer replies that were more to her liking.

Many of us woke up yesterday to the news that Senator Krysten Sinema had decided to leave the Democratic Party and become an Independent. This led to the creation of a thread in the "Political Discussion" forum titled, "Sinema registers as independent". The initial details of this change were not clear and the early reports left many unanswered questions. That didn't stop intrepid DCUMers from authoritative pronouncements. "This is so Democrats can’t get any nominees out of committee" declared the very first response. It would later be revealed that Sinema will continue to caucus with the Democrats, retain her committee assignments, and the Democrats would still be able to hold committee majorities. Therefore, the first responder can put his fears to rest. Other responses dealt with their authors' personal feelings about Sinema. The move reinforced her detractors negative opinons of her while justifying the admiration of her supporters. The political forum has a significant number of posters who describe themselves as independents. This designation often comes across as signifying superiority, suggesting that the poster, as an independent, comes to logical and intelligent political positions rather than mindlessly puppeting those of a party. Such sentiments are expressed blatantly throughout this thread. Studies of independents show that most of them are actually closely aligned in their views with one of the two major parties — just like Sinema. True independents generally don't pay attention to politics and, therefore, are not very well politically informed. The upshot as far as the Senate is concerned is that Sinema's change in affiliation will make little difference. The Democratic caucus already has two Independents, Bernie Sanders and Angus King, so Sinema will simply join them as the third.

Another thread that was very active yesterday was titled, "We are broke" and posted in the "Money and Finances" forum. The original poster explains that her family lives on her husband's income. They have children that attend separate schools and attend therapies and after-school activities. Recent unexpected expenses have left them with home equity loan and credit card debt. The original poster is considering selling her engagement ring and hiring an au pair so that she can get a job. The original poster is advised that it may cost more for an au pair than she believes and that the resale value of her ring may be low. She is encouraged to drop the after-school activities, the therapies if possible, and to do home repairs herself. Several ideas for jobs are proposed. At some point the original poster disclosed that she has teaching experience so much of the discussion turned towards various ways that she can utilize her teaching skills, such as substitute teaching, tutoring, or dropping preschool for one child and teaching the child herself. This thread demonstrates a recurring phenomenon that I see in such discussions. Almost assuredly, the original posters of this and similar discussions have thought of easy solutions and wouldn't start threads if there were easy ways to solve their problems. Posters offer advice, much of it being things the original poster likely considered and ruled out, and then get frustrated that the original poster doesn't immediately act on their advice. This then leads to criticism of the original poster. This is exactly what happened in this thread with the original poster being attacked as "lazy", being "full of excuses", and not wanting to do anything about her situation. As a result, I'm not sure that the original poster will have found this thread encouraging.

Another thread from the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" was among the most active topics yesterday. This one, titled, "My girlfriend got her ex a birthday gift", is about the original poster's girlfriend who he saw giftwrapping a book which she explained was a gift for a very short-term boyfriend from about 4 years ago. He says that he knows the two have stayed in touch and even though the gift was only a book and it was for the former boyfriend's 40th birthday, he was upset and wonders if there are still feelings between the two. Posters are divided about whether this is anything about which to be concerned. Some posters criticized the original poster for being jealous or controlling. Many took the position that the gift is not a big deal and a friendly relationship between the two would be normal. Others suggested that the original poster is right to be concerned. What I found interesting about this thread is how additional posts by the original poster affected the opinions of those responding. When he provided more information about his girlfriend's former relationship, it reinforced views that the gift was likely innocent and caused some of those doubting his girlfriend to change their opinion. Then, when he described his own actions earlier in his relationship with his girlfriend, almost everyone moved firmly to the side of his girlfriend. Based on his history, many were astonished that he would get upset about a book. Quite a few suggested he was lucky even have the woman as a girlfriend. I think it is safe to say that the original poster may have lost any sympathetic support that he may have once had. I can't say that the original poster received much useful advise in this thread, but those reading were certainly kept entertained by the drama.