Friday's Most Active Threads

The most active thread in both number of views and number of replies was titled, "Would this request from a friend weird you out?" and posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. The original poster explains that she works from home but upcoming renovations to her house will make working there impossible for a couple of weeks. She asks if it would be crazy to ask a neighbor with whom she is friends if she can work at her house. The neighbor would not be home at the time. The vast majority of replies advise the original poster not to make such a request. Reasons cited included feeling pressured to clean the house every morning and fears of the original poster snooping through the house. Several posters said that they would never themselves make such a request, but if asked, would reluctantly agree to it. A very small number of posters said that they would not only accomodate such a request, but would view it as fun and would welcome it. Quite a few responses said that while requesting to work at a friend or neighbor's home for a couple of days might be okay, the original poster's plan to work there for a couple of weeks was too much. The original poster, who posted a response in which she lied by saying that she was not the original poster, must not have read those responses because she asked whether the answers would change if the request were only for two or three days. In addition to the responses directly answering the original poster's question, many of those who responded offered alternative suggestions such as working from a library or cafe or joining a shared workplace.

Second in both number of views and number of replies was a thread in the "Family Relationships" forum titled, "Lack of respect for house". The original poster describes recently hosting family for an extended Thanksgiving stay. After their departure, the original poster found scratches on her high-end bedroom furniture, water marks from glasses, and wet towels wadded up among stripped linens. The original poster also commented that guests often leave wet towels on wooden furniture and is surprised that people don't know how to handled wet towels. The responses did not show much sympathy for the original poster. As the original poster herself commented, responses fell in roughly three categories: 1) she should expect wear and tear when she hosts; 2) she should instruct her guests how to meet her standards, and; 3) she should not host because she was not cut out for it. In addition, several posters suggested that the original poster likely did not have enough hooks for towels or coasters to protect the furniture. A few posters described being upset by similar experiences and had stopped hosting some family members as a result. One poster sided quite strongly with the original poster, but was then called a "snobby jerk" for her effort. Though, admittedly, that poster did sort of come off as a "snobby jerk".

A thread titled, "Housing is the new source of inequality" and posted in the "Real Estate" forum had the fifth highest number of views and was ninth in number of replies. The original poster postulates that there will be increasing wealth inequity between those who currently own homes that they can afford and those who currently rent. The original poster acknowledges that this has always been somewhat the case, but predicts the gulf between the two groups will grow due to the rising cost of housing and increasing interest rates. Many of the replies seem to have missed the original poster's caveat and stress that this is not a new phenomenon but one that has been longstanding. Others point out that while this inequity is now being caused by housing costs and availability, it was once a result of racial discrimination. It is just hitting different groups now. As is so often the case, there are posters who are quick the blame the have-nots for not having. People who saved for down payments while renting for a few years back in the days when it was possible to save for a down payment while renting for a few years, demonstrated that they are out of touch with the current cost of renting. Some attributed an inability to afford housing to gym memberships. I guess that is better than blaming avocado toast as some have done, but only marginally. There is much debate about the affordability of housing in cheaper areas and claims that those wanting to buy houses have unrealistic expectations. One post that stood out was by a poster who was a young attorney during the 2008 financial meltdown and lost her job as did many others in her field. She owns a home that she bought when it was affordable and has now appreciated considerably. Nevertheless, she is still very resentful that her career has not recovered. I didn't expect that this thread would end up at "who will think of the lawyers", especially those with valuable homes, but here we are.

The final thread at which I'll look today was posted in the "Family Relationships" forum and titled, "My mother will not speak to me because I stood up to her". This thread was seventh in number of replies and eighth in number of views for the day. The original poster describes a strained relationship with her mother. The original poster has refused money that her mother offered, not spent every Thanksgiving with her mother as was demanded, not required her children to speak with her mother weekly as requested, and opted not to live near her mother. Now the original poster has told her mother that her behavior which includes constant criticism of the original poster's choices doesn't make her likable. This has resulted in the mother no longer talking to the original poster. I was a little surprised that almost all of the initial responses were fully in support of the original poster, assuring her that she had acted correctly and encouraging her to continue taking a hard line against her mother. In my opinion, the mother's desires were either understandable or could be addressed by proper communication and, perhaps, some concession by both parties. One poster's views aligned more or less with mine and debates between her and the other posters soon took over the thread. I can see considerable frustration among the other posters with that particular poster and I am thankful that I have no interest in participating in such threads because I am sure that I would find myself the object of considerable anger. Another poster offered good advice about looking at things from the mother's perspective. But, generally, the reaction of most posters is that the original poster is correct and her mother is wrong and, and if anything, the original poster has been too nice to her mother.