Hiring a Nanny: A Road Map for Parents

[Anonymous]

Realistic Expectations:

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is not being realistic about the time and effort it takes to hire a good nanny. It's a shock to many parents to find that anyone, regardless of their qualifications or training, can label themselves a nanny. Unlike family child care and child care centers, which are licensed, regulated forms of care, there is no regulating agency that licenses or designates requirements for nannies. Thus, when you search for a nanny, you become an employment agency, establishing the requirements for the job, screening, interviewing, and supervising the employee. In addition, unless you hire an agency to do the nanny taxes for you, you must also, at times, be an accountant. Remember that all the hard work will be worth it when you find just the right person to care for your children.

Be realistic when it comes to your time frame. Studies indicate that the longer a parent takes to research, screen, and interview, the happier they are with their child care choice. I suggest that you allow four weeks to find a nanny if you work with an agency, eight weeks if you search on your own. The luxury of time will allow you to properly screen and choose the best match for your family. Remember that decisions made in haste often result in costly and frustrating U-turns--it's better to take the time to hire the right person from the start. If you are pressed to find a nanny quickly, see if you can find a temporary child care arrangement, through a relative or temporary nanny agency, while you continue your search for a permanent nanny.

The Two Most Important Things to Consider:

I have found that the two most important qualities in good nannies are emotional maturity and knowledge of child development. Nannies who understand why children behave as they do are more likely to respond to children appropriately. A nanny who can control her own reactions and who can soothe a child's volatile emotions is less likely to become overwhelmed and burned out. Ask nanny candidates how they would handle scenarios such as a fussy baby or a temper tantrum. Ask their references how they managed stress. Make sure that your nanny is truly interested in child development and is willing to continue her professional development. Make professional development a requirement of the position by including in the work agreement that you expect your nanny to take two trainings a year and read one child development book a month, paid for by you the employer.

You've Found the Perfect Candidate! Now What?:

Let's say you really connect with a nanny candidate at the face-to-face interview. I suggest you maintain objectivity and avoid hiring her on the spot. Ask her for her references and have her sign a release authorizing you to conduct a background check. Tell her you enjoyed meeting her, and that you will get back to her. Then check her references and work history, and apply to have a criminal background check done. If you think having a criminal background check done on a candidate seems severe, be aware that it is required by the state of Maryland for family child care providers and child care center teachers to undergo background checks.

Once you have screened your ideal nanny applicant, offer her the job with a probationary period of one to three months. You must pay her for all the hours she has worked, of course, but the probationary period allows you and the nanny to have an "out" if the match is not a good one after all. You will want to have a work agreement that you and your nanny sign that spells out the exact job responsibilities, salary, benefits, and house rules for the nanny and children. The work agreement should include the probationary period, termination agreement, and dates when performance evaluations will take place. Be sure to include a date when the agreement will be reviewed by both parties. At that time the agreement can be renegotiated. There are many different sample work agreements on the Internet.

Now that you have completed the cumbersome task of hiring a nanny, pat yourself on the back--you can relax, knowing you have done your homework. But keep your eyes on the road; you'll find that there will need to be minor tune-ups and adjustments that go with the territory of being a nanny employer. After all, caring for children is a dynamic rather than static enterprise that requires continuous teamwork between you and your nanny.

[Anonymous]

I completely disagree with the child development paragraph. This just is not necessary unless you have a very unique situation (don't plan to go to preschool, have no educational toys and materials in your house, plan to be away for 80 hours a week). Infants and young children need someone who is loving, patient, and enjoys interacting with young children. They actually have very simple needs. A nanny who loves to read to and with children is giving them the exact same advantage as a nanny who is reading to them because she took a class on why reading is important. In fact, the nanny that loves to read to kids is probably better anyway.

In our experience, the nannies with an interest in child development or who had taken courses actually had pretty bad ideas about how to spend the day with a small child. There were too many preschool teacher wanna bees offering to bring an inappropriate curriculum so they basically could "pretend" they were being a preschool teacher rather than a nanny. They tend to be more of the lets run to all over town to a ton of outings type because they find it boring to just play with a child. They tend to be the ones who think they are the best thing ever while they chat and text away on their funs. None of this benefits your child. Its just bull and a scam.

Hands down the best nannies are the ones who have experience with multiple age ranges, have been with families for several years, have shown flexibility as tasks and needs change, and have a good work ethic where there perform valuable household tasks rather than expect a 3 hour break in the middle of the day. These nannies give your child an environment where they can thrive and enjoy being kids. They give you quality time with your kids in the evenings and weekends because light housekeeping is done. They give you piece of mind not drama and aggravation for a high price with little value to your kids in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely disagree with the child development paragraph. This just is not necessary unless you have a very unique situation (don't plan to go to preschool, have no educational toys and materials in your house, plan to be away for 80 hours a week). Infants and young children need someone who is loving, patient, and enjoys interacting with young children. They actually have very simple needs. A nanny who loves to read to and with children is giving them the exact same advantage as a nanny who is reading to them because she took a class on why reading is important. In fact, the nanny that loves to read to kids is probably better anyway.

In our experience, the nannies with an interest in child development or who had taken courses actually had pretty bad ideas about how to spend the day with a small child. There were too many preschool teacher wanna bees offering to bring an inappropriate curriculum so they basically could "pretend" they were being a preschool teacher rather than a nanny. They tend to be more of the lets run to all over town to a ton of outings type because they find it boring to just play with a child. They tend to be the ones who think they are the best thing ever while they chat and text away on their funs. None of this benefits your child. Its just bull and a scam.

Hands down the best nannies are the ones who have experience with multiple age ranges, have been with families for several years, have shown flexibility as tasks and needs change, and have a good work ethic where there perform valuable household tasks rather than expect a 3 hour break in the middle of the day. These nannies give your child an environment where they can thrive and enjoy being kids. They give you quality time with your kids in the evenings and weekends because light housekeeping is done. They give you piece of mind not drama and aggravation for a high price with little value to your kids in return.

Your idea of "quality time" with your child is not needing to perform "light housekeeping" because your doormat does it for you?
Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely disagree with the child development paragraph. This just is not necessary unless you have a very unique situation (don't plan to go to preschool, have no educational toys and materials in your house, plan to be away for 80 hours a week). Infants and young children need someone who is loving, patient, and enjoys interacting with young children. They actually have very simple needs. A nanny who loves to read to and with children is giving them the exact same advantage as a nanny who is reading to them because she took a class on why reading is important. In fact, the nanny that loves to read to kids is probably better anyway.

In our experience, the nannies with an interest in child development or who had taken courses actually had pretty bad ideas about how to spend the day with a small child. There were too many preschool teacher wanna bees offering to bring an inappropriate curriculum so they basically could "pretend" they were being a preschool teacher rather than a nanny. They tend to be more of the lets run to all over town to a ton of outings type because they find it boring to just play with a child. They tend to be the ones who think they are the best thing ever while they chat and text away on their funs. None of this benefits your child. Its just bull and a scam.

Hands down the best nannies are the ones who have experience with multiple age ranges, have been with families for several years, have shown flexibility as tasks and needs change, and have a good work ethic where there perform valuable household tasks rather than expect a 3 hour break in the middle of the day. These nannies give your child an environment where they can thrive and enjoy being kids. They give you quality time with your kids in the evenings and weekends because light housekeeping is done. They give you piece of mind not drama and aggravation for a high price with little value to your kids in return.

Your idea of "quality time" with your child is not needing to perform "light housekeeping" because your doormat does it for you?
Wow.

+1

To the first comment, I don't think you understood anything in OP's post. No offence.

[Anonymous]

It is a lifesaver that our nanny does housework during nap time. We went down the road of a no-housework nanny and it was a big,big mistake. As a two working parent it is incredibly difficult to keep up on the housekeeping and errands in the evening and weekend. I'm a high energy person who actually enjoys doing that type of stuff but no doubt if it doesn't get done during the day it will have to be done in the evening. The evening hours are the time when DH and I want to spend reading, playing and just having with our kids. On weekends, we want to take them to fun activities not spend one of two days around doing laundry.

Our child development oriented nanny was fine but logistically it just didn't work for us. My kids were good nappers and our nanny would do nothing while they slept for 3 sometimes 4 hours in the afternoon. It didn't make sense to hire a separate housekeeper when we were already paying someone for 15-20 hours a week to do nothing but sit on the couch. We switched to nanny that takes a 1 hour break but spend the other 2-3 doing daily housekeeping tasks. She also goes to the grocery store with the kids on the way beck from the library or park. She is just as good at the child engagement aspects of the job as the first nanny. The huge difference is that makes our lives easier.

I do the heavy cleaning stuff but I'm not trying to squeeze in another 10-15 hours of light housekeeping into the evenings. Instead, I play with my kids. When they go to bed, I get back on the computer for work. I go to sleep and wake up at a normal time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a lifesaver that our nanny does housework during nap time. We went down the road of a no-housework nanny and it was a big,big mistake. As a two working parent it is incredibly difficult to keep up on the housekeeping and errands in the evening and weekend. I'm a high energy person who actually enjoys doing that type of stuff but no doubt if it doesn't get done during the day it will have to be done in the evening. The evening hours are the time when DH and I want to spend reading, playing and just having with our kids. On weekends, we want to take them to fun activities not spend one of two days around doing laundry.

Our child development oriented nanny was fine but logistically it just didn't work for us. My kids were good nappers and our nanny would do nothing while they slept for 3 sometimes 4 hours in the afternoon. It didn't make sense to hire a separate housekeeper when we were already paying someone for 15-20 hours a week to do nothing but sit on the couch. We switched to nanny that takes a 1 hour break but spend the other 2-3 doing daily housekeeping tasks. She also goes to the grocery store with the kids on the way beck from the library or park. She is just as good at the child engagement aspects of the job as the first nanny. The huge difference is that makes our lives easier.

I do the heavy cleaning stuff but I'm not trying to squeeze in another 10-15 hours of light housekeeping into the evenings. Instead, I play with my kids. When they go to bed, I get back on the computer for work. I go to sleep and wake up at a normal time.

To put it into a nutshell, you seem to have little understanding of "child development".

[Anonymous]

+1 on including housekeeping as a responsibility.

On searching for a nanny, it is very different than hiring in your workplace. Most good nannies don't have resumes so you do need to prepare for a good amount of phone screening. My advice would be to address deal breakers such as available hours or legal to work first to cut down on the time you spend on the phone with candidates that can't work for you. I would also advise to quickly move on from candidates with red flags. The nannies will probably object and want you to give them the benefit of the doubt but as an employer this isn't a smart approach. For those with no red flags and no deal breakers, I would advise spending more time on the phone drawing them into conversation. As a whole, nanny candidates seemed less comfortable with interviewing and "selling" themselves than job candidates in other fields.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 on including housekeeping as a responsibility.

On searching for a nanny, it is very different than hiring in your workplace. Most good nannies don't have resumes so you do need to prepare for a good amount of phone screening. My advice would be to address deal breakers such as available hours or legal to work first to cut down on the time you spend on the phone with candidates that can't work for you. I would also advise to quickly move on from candidates with red flags. The nannies will probably object and want you to give them the benefit of the doubt but as an employer this isn't a smart approach. For those with no red flags and no deal breakers, I would advise spending more time on the phone drawing them into conversation. As a whole, nanny candidates seemed less comfortable with interviewing and "selling" themselves than job candidates in other fields.

Huh? Don't you even know what a nanny is? A nanny is not your housekeeper. Every family I have ever worked with, had a housekeeper and it wasn't me. You must be new on this forum.

[Anonymous]

PP why do you say most good nannies don't have resumes? Every professional nanny I know has one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Huh? Don't you even know what a nanny is? A nanny is not your housekeeper. Every family I have ever worked with, had a housekeeper and it wasn't me. You must be new on this forum.

How special for you that you've only worked for families wealthy enough to have two domestic employees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Huh? Don't you even know what a nanny is? A nanny is not your housekeeper. Every family I have ever worked with, had a housekeeper and it wasn't me. You must be new on this forum.

How special for you that you've only worked for families wealthy enough to have two domestic employees.

Sorry if this seems harsh to you, but middle class families do family care, friend care or daycare. Or God forbid they do their own. Only well to do families can afford an exclusive nanny. Unless the "nanny" is that bargain deal. Even the poor can afford that.

I recall a newspaper article where there was a shooting in a low-income, high crime part of the city. A witness reported what she saw, as she was leaving her "nanny" job.

[Anonymous]

Families who can afford one household employee are free to hire one. They don't need to hold off because they can't afford 2. In a smaller business, positions are less specialized. The same holds true in a smaller household. Of course, an individual is free to apply for a position or not depending on the duties included.

[Anonymous]

Wealthy doesn't mean wasteful. Yes, some nannies are looking for jobs that pay high and require very little work. Who wouldn't want this? The number of families willing to pay someone to sit on the couch for 15-20 hours a week during nap time is pretty low.

My number #1 recommendation to FTM would be to explicitly include light housekeeping tasks upfront while hiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wealthy doesn't mean wasteful. Yes, some nannies are looking for jobs that pay high and require very little work. Who wouldn't want this? The number of families willing to pay someone to sit on the couch for 15-20 hours a week during nap time is pretty low.

My number #1 recommendation to FTM would be to explicitly include light housekeeping tasks upfront while hiring.

Everyone seems to have a different definition of light housekeeping. What housekeeping would a "nanny" do? I understand that a "nanny housekeeper" would be just that.

[Anonymous]

Laundry (all), grocery shopping, unloading clean dishes, regular dusting/vacuuming/sweeping and just cleaning up after the day's activities are the huge, huge time savers for us. This doesn't take anywhere near 3-4 hours a day so your nanny still gets a 1-2 or even more break everyday. You really need to make sure that you don't hire a nanny who is expecting the 3-4 hour nap time as 100% her time.

The other plus with hiring a nanny who has good references on doing light housekeeping is that they are generally just more tidy overall. Some nannies are complete slobs and leave messes for their employers to clean up. If the nanny is responsible for light housekeeping, she's more likely to learn to clean up after herself as she goes.