Do families usually allow nanny to do personal shopping on paid time?

[Anonymous]

Every nanny should read this thread so they will see why they should find another profession. Some of the MObs posting are mean. A happy nanny is better for your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every nanny should read this thread so they will see why they should find another profession. Some of the MObs posting are mean. A happy nanny is better for your children.

Perhaps it'd be more useful for every nanny family to get educated on the vital importance of caregiver stability? This is especially CRITICAL during your child's first three years of life, known as the "foundational" years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There is a lot to be said for children (at least, age 3 and above) simply accompanying adults as they go through the various errands of the day... they learn to be patient,

Children can also learn patience while the nanny takes on more housework at the employer's home. Oh wait....in this situation developing patience in a child is not in the best interest of the child. Clearly, the difference is that something is ONLY beneficial to the child if the nanny is doing something that benefits the nanny.

+1

This is what I mean. They can learn patience while cleaning toys or loading a dishwasher with nanny. They really don't have to go to CVS to learn patience..

Do you have children? Because asking a one or two yo to entertain themselves with their toys and books while you empty the dishwasher is completely different from asking them to stand in line at a store, use an indoor voice, and conduct themselves appropriately in public.

My DC runs errands with me on the weekend, so he gets lots of practice standing in line at a store, using an indoor voice, and conducting himself appropriately in public. He also helps me unload the dishwasher, cleans up after meals, and helps "fold" the laundry. Making those activities fun and interesting for him all require the same level of engagement - having him pick out apples and put them in the cart, vs. having him pull out all the red clothes for me to fold. If you assume unloading a dishwasher requires you to ignore a one or two year old, it's hard not to assume you are similarly ignoring the same one or two year old when you drag him around running your own errands - engaging kids is the same, wherever you are doing it.

Engaging kids requires the same skills, but it is not the same.

At home DC puts away the flatware and his cups and plates while I unload the knives and dishes.

In a store, DC and I talk about things we see, waiting our turn, and what different people's titles are and what they are doing.

I'm glad your DC gets plenty of practice? My point was if you are trying to teach patience, circumstances matter. When DC is done with his dishes he'll go line up his trucks or sing a song to his baby brother...can't do that in a store. Not sure where you got ignoring from, you're only proving the point that a lot of MBs on this site are kind of mean people. Thanks for accusing me of ignoring my kids.

I am not trying to be mean, not do I think letting your DC entertain himself for a few minutes equates ignoring him or that it's bad for him. My point was rather, and perhaps I made it inarticulately, that engaging children is a skill that can be applied to any activity. On other threads on this board we see tons of arguments from nannies saying that asking a nanny to do household tasks like unloading a dishwasher or doing laundry is mean and selfish of parents and that those parents clearly don't care about their child's well-being. But as a parent, I know that if you can engage a kid, you can do it in any situation. I also get that a little independent play is not going to hurt my child.

I also find the argument on this thread that taking a child on a nanny's personal errands is somehow a huge favor to the family because the child is learning to behave in public and to be patient. If that is the nanny's primary goal, she can can the child grocery shopping for the family and achieve the same result. Running errands on the job is a perk like any other and should be discussed beforehand so the MB has a chance to say yes or no or set reasonable parameters (post office for a quick emergency is fine, doing your weekly grocery shopping with my child in tow is not).

FWIW our nanny does do occasional personal errands with my DC. She also grocery shops for our family (and unloads the dishwasher, etc.) so if she needs to pick up a few personal things for herself while she is out, I don't really care. But if she tried to convince me that taking my child on all her errands was somehow for MY benefit, but unloading the dishwasher was somehow to my child's detriment, it would be hard to take her seriously.

[Anonymous]

Pasting from another thread because it applies to this thread too:

In my experience, good will has to go both ways. I demand adequate pay because I insist on giving the best childcare. To me that is what MBs should expect in exchange for their cash. Goodwill on the other hand is about mutual respect. You can not buy my generosity, you can only earn it by treating me the way you want to be treated. One MB asked me to take DC to my house because they had something going on at home. DCs diaper leaked and covered my pillows and bed with poop. The small laundry machines in my apartment building would have meant doing several small loads and drying each one twice or even three times for a comforter and paying $15 for it. Instead, MB took my bedding to a laundry center that had large machines. Paid for the professional laundry service, including a small fortune to have it done same day, and then returned it to me at 11 at night so that I would have clean bedding and get to sleep at a reasonable hour. So, when she asked me to sit in a hospital waiting room while her grandmother was being treated in ICU, I just showed up and I made sure DC was fed, entertained, and soothed for the next five hours so that MB could focus on her grandmother. I didn't interrogate her about whether it would be paid. I did not even ask her how many hours she would need. I decided I would give what I could and leave when I couldn't do it anymore.

THAT is the type of mutuality you need to be prepared to maintain in your relationships if you want someone to support you in a bind. You don't get it by paying for it. You must earn it. Nannies too, we can't expect to give the bare minimum - childcare only - and get the maximum benefit in return. I could have easily been left with a roll of quarters and a long night ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pasting from another thread because it applies to this thread too:

In my experience, good will has to go both ways. I demand adequate pay because I insist on giving the best childcare. To me that is what MBs should expect in exchange for their cash. Goodwill on the other hand is about mutual respect. You can not buy my generosity, you can only earn it by treating me the way you want to be treated. One MB asked me to take DC to my house because they had something going on at home. DCs diaper leaked and covered my pillows and bed with poop. The small laundry machines in my apartment building would have meant doing several small loads and drying each one twice or even three times for a comforter and paying $15 for it. Instead, MB took my bedding to a laundry center that had large machines. Paid for the professional laundry service, including a small fortune to have it done same day, and then returned it to me at 11 at night so that I would have clean bedding and get to sleep at a reasonable hour. So, when she asked me to sit in a hospital waiting room while her grandmother was being treated in ICU, I just showed up and I made sure DC was fed, entertained, and soothed for the next five hours so that MB could focus on her grandmother. I didn't interrogate her about whether it would be paid. I did not even ask her how many hours she would need. I decided I would give what I could and leave when I couldn't do it anymore.

THAT is the type of mutuality you need to be prepared to maintain in your relationships if you want someone to support you in a bind. You don't get it by paying for it. You must earn it. Nannies too, we can't expect to give the bare minimum - childcare only - and get the maximum benefit in return. I could have easily been left with a roll of quarters and a long night ahead.

This is a great post. Thanks for copying to this thread. This is exactly the relationship I try to achieve with our nanny. She definitely goes above and beyond for us so I try to do the same for her. The other day I accidentally left some towels in the dryer and she folded them for me even though it is not her job to do my laundry. If she needed to do some personal errands with the kids in tow I'd tell her she doesn't even need to ask. If, however, she was a nanny like some who post here who feel like doing child related tasks like their laundry is not a nannies job because it takes focus away from the children it would seem very self-centered if they asked to take the children on a personal errand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personal errands should never be done during work hours. It is very unprofessional. If you want to get out, take your charges to someplace fun or educational for them - not Target for you. I run my errands on my own time. No exceptions.

Yes, OP, you have every right to demand this of your nanny.

I think it really depends on how many hrs your nanny works. I had a nanny job where the single mother was deployed over seas and I worked 24/7 for 18 months straight. I've also had 24 hr positions where I only get maybe 1 day off a month. Stuff happens and you end up needing more clothes. Tampons, birth control. You have a tooth ache and need to go to the dentist . Sometimes the kids just have to come along. Not all people work 9-5 mon- fri.

Why do you need brith control if you are working 24/7?
Are you having sex on the job?

[Anonymous]

A lot of nannies have made the argument that running their personal errands during time the family is paying them is a good experience for the child. However, I do all of my family's errand and shopping, with my baby in tow. The baby does not need to go on more errands. My baby is learning patience while out from me, his parent. I expect our nanny to spend the time we pay her contributing to his development by reading to him and engaging with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of nannies have made the argument that running their personal errands during time the family is paying them is a good experience for the child. However, I do all of my family's errand and shopping, with my baby in tow. The baby does not need to go on more errands. My baby is learning patience while out from me, his parent. I expect our nanny to spend the time we pay her contributing to his development by reading to him and engaging with him.

We keep going around and around on this.

Maybe there is some miscommunication when we talk about running errands? The ones that I do for myself while on the clock are never longer than five minutes. I might stop to buy stamps or drop off a package, grab some toothpaste at the convenience store, or pick up some lunch at the grocery store. I'm "engaging" with my charge the whole time (how else do you get a toddler in and out of a store quietly?) and don't think it is in any way harmful or slacking. It also builds a lot of goodwill, as has been mentioned before.

Now, I wouldn't take him to the mall, or into a clothing store, or anything that wasn't already on our way to or from a child-focused activity, but I would be very offended and befuddled if my MB said those two minutes buying stamps were somehow me not doing my job.

[Anonymous]

Just hire the kind of nanny you want. There.