I should get paid for this, right? I should!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think funeral directors typically lean across the casket and ask for payment? Or do you think maybe they have a bit more common sense than that? Nanny was insensitive and could have held off for another SEVEN WHOLE DAYS before demanding payment. I would be totally put off by the request, even as I reached for my checkbook and wrote the check. My opinion of the nanny would change from appreciative of her help in a crisis to suspicious of her key motivation ($$$). I would have paid her in any event, but the Monday ask after the weekend death is really, really insensitive.

The funeral director presumably sends an invoice and knows when s/he will be paid, and has a means of recourse if the bill is NOT paid on time.

If this is a genuine post, it does sound like OP's MB is perhaps not the most reliable person and perhaps OP wasn't willing to get up at 3am and work a ton of OT and not be paid for it right away. I know I wouldn't... you want me to give up my sleep, and my time off, because of something happening in YOUR life? Okay, but I want to be paid right away. You want me to extend my normal evening hours a bit, or come in at 7am one morning? Sure, add it to my next paycheck.

Perhaps those of you who don't understand the difference are not being called into work at 3am or having your employers nickel and dime you over every 15 minute increment on every single paycheck...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think funeral directors typically lean across the casket and ask for payment? Or do you think maybe they have a bit more common sense than that? Nanny was insensitive and could have held off for another SEVEN WHOLE DAYS before demanding payment. I would be totally put off by the request, even as I reached for my checkbook and wrote the check. My opinion of the nanny would change from appreciative of her help in a crisis to suspicious of her key motivation ($$$). I would have paid her in any event, but the Monday ask after the weekend death is really, really insensitive.

I agreed with you up until that point. What should her motivation be for getting up in the middle of the night for a JOB? She's not a family member, not a friend, she's an employee. If would be foolish to think any employee wasn't motivated by money.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Next time nannies want to argue that they aren't the "help", please see PP who makes it clear that the nanny is not a family member, not friend, just an employee. No need to treat otherwise. Throw cash at nanny and skip over the niceties you'd use for a friend or family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Next time nannies want to argue that they aren't the "help", please see PP who makes it clear that the nanny is not a family member, not friend, just an employee. No need to treat otherwise. Throw cash at nanny and skip over the niceties you'd use for a friend or family member.

No. Treating the nanny as an employee rather than a family member means understanding that they work for compensation, not as a favor to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Next time nannies want to argue that they aren't the "help", please see PP who makes it clear that the nanny is not a family member, not friend, just an employee. No need to treat otherwise. Throw cash at nanny and skip over the niceties you'd use for a friend or family member.

No. Treating the nanny as an employee rather than a family member means understanding that they work for compensation, not as a favor to you.

Has there been any debate over whether she should be compensated? No. The discussion has been around whether it is insensitive to ask for and be offended by not receiving payment on the Monday following a weekend death. If the nanny was called at 3 am, what do you think the MB was up to? Lounging around enjoying cocktails, or rushing to see a loved one before she died? Same goes for the rest of the weekend. This wasn't a vacation for the MB. Nanny went from looking compassionate to looking solely concerned with money the minute she asked (on Monday) for the extra comp. Totally fine to ask for it a week later, but the immediate ask is a bit much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Next time nannies want to argue that they aren't the "help", please see PP who makes it clear that the nanny is not a family member, not friend, just an employee. No need to treat otherwise. Throw cash at nanny and skip over the niceties you'd use for a friend or family member.

No. Treating the nanny as an employee rather than a family member means understanding that they work for compensation, not as a favor to you.

Has there been any debate over whether she should be compensated? No. The discussion has been around whether it is insensitive to ask for and be offended by not receiving payment on the Monday following a weekend death. If the nanny was called at 3 am, what do you think the MB was up to? Lounging around enjoying cocktails, or rushing to see a loved one before she died? Same goes for the rest of the weekend. This wasn't a vacation for the MB. Nanny went from looking compassionate to looking solely concerned with money the minute she asked (on Monday) for the extra comp. Totally fine to ask for it a week later, but the immediate ask is a bit much.

Then maybe MB should have never put her in the situation of needing to ask and just paid her on Monday, like she should have. My DBs MOTHER just passed, I was with the kids for the funeral. I was paid when the parents got home. Death is not an excuse to be self-centered, irresponsible or unprofessional. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Next time nannies want to argue that they aren't the "help", please see PP who makes it clear that the nanny is not a family member, not friend, just an employee. No need to treat otherwise. Throw cash at nanny and skip over the niceties you'd use for a friend or family member.

No. Treating the nanny as an employee rather than a family member means understanding that they work for compensation, not as a favor to you.

Has there been any debate over whether she should be compensated? No. The discussion has been around whether it is insensitive to ask for and be offended by not receiving payment on the Monday following a weekend death. If the nanny was called at 3 am, what do you think the MB was up to? Lounging around enjoying cocktails, or rushing to see a loved one before she died? Same goes for the rest of the weekend. This wasn't a vacation for the MB. Nanny went from looking compassionate to looking solely concerned with money the minute she asked (on Monday) for the extra comp. Totally fine to ask for it a week later, but the immediate ask is a bit much.

You're having trouble staying focused. I responded to your ridiculous interpretation of nannies being employees VS family members.

[Anonymous]

I was at work for 16 hours [on Saturday]. I came back the next day for the funeral and watched the kids from about 3pm to 9pm. I get paid on Mondays, my check yesterday did not include anything from this weekend.

Let's just pull this out of OP's post once more.

She was paid on Monday for the previous week and it did not factor in her OT hours so it isn't like she was trying to rush the money before her normal Friday paycheck... so basically her MB remembered to pay her nanny but when sitting down to write the check didn't stop to think, "oh she worked all those extra hours this weekend, I need to add those on." Why? She wasn't so discombobulated as to forget to pay the nanny entirely, but wanted to use her grief as an excuse not to pay the OT hours?

[Anonymous]

Op Again.

Wow, some of you didn't read my post very well. I never "demanded the money". Not once. I asked if I was going to receive compensation on this check, or the next. MB said, "I can't deal with this right now." and I let it go. Never have I gotten my answer. Got my check yesterday, and guess what! Still nothing. I'm assuming she forgot, and I am bringing it up in person today. I prefer to communicate face to face. One of the reasons I despise these boards is because some of you don't even read the original post. You decided what you want to after skimming through and act is if I did something sacrilege. Asking for payment for extra hours is not "rude or insensitive".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Next time nannies want to argue that they aren't the "help", please see PP who makes it clear that the nanny is not a family member, not friend, just an employee. No need to treat otherwise. Throw cash at nanny and skip over the niceties you'd use for a friend or family member.

OP.

I ask for respect. I am a professional, I don't babysit for free. That doesn't mean I don't love my NF or love my charges, it just means I have to pay my rent. Being in a professional relationship does not mean we treat each other like shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op Again.

Wow, some of you didn't read my post very well. I never "demanded the money". Not once. I asked if I was going to receive compensation on this check, or the next. MB said, "I can't deal with this right now." and I let it go. Never have I gotten my answer. Got my check yesterday, and guess what! Still nothing. I'm assuming she forgot, and I am bringing it up in person today. I prefer to communicate face to face. One of the reasons I despise these boards is because some of you don't even read the original post. You decided what you want to after skimming through and act is if I did something sacrilege. Asking for payment for extra hours is not "rude or insensitive".

Doing it the day after the funeral is.

Regardless, you should be paid your full wage plus overtime. Your MB is now in the wrong and is being rude and insensitive. You deserve to be handed a check/cash tomorrow.

Sorry you are being put in the position that you have to ask. Now you know where you stand if she needs emergency help again. You should tell her you want to be paid in cash on the date of service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op Again.

Wow, some of you didn't read my post very well. I never "demanded the money". Not once. I asked if I was going to receive compensation on this check, or the next. MB said, "I can't deal with this right now." and I let it go. Never have I gotten my answer. Got my check yesterday, and guess what! Still nothing. I'm assuming she forgot, and I am bringing it up in person today. I prefer to communicate face to face. One of the reasons I despise these boards is because some of you don't even read the original post. You decided what you want to after skimming through and act is if I did something sacrilege. Asking for payment for extra hours is not "rude or insensitive".

Above from OP confirms that herMB deserved no benefit of the doubt. Don't let her screw you OP and let us know. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op Again.

Wow, some of you didn't read my post very well. I never "demanded the money". Not once. I asked if I was going to receive compensation on this check, or the next. MB said, "I can't deal with this right now." and I let it go. Never have I gotten my answer. Got my check yesterday, and guess what! Still nothing. I'm assuming she forgot, and I am bringing it up in person today. I prefer to communicate face to face. One of the reasons I despise these boards is because some of you don't even read the original post. You decided what you want to after skimming through and act is if I did something sacrilege. Asking for payment for extra hours is not "rude or insensitive".

Doing it the day after the funeral is.

Regardless, you should be paid your full wage plus overtime. Your MB is now in the wrong and is being rude and insensitive. You deserve to be handed a check/cash tomorrow.

Sorry you are being put in the position that you have to ask. Now you know where you stand if she needs emergency help again. You should tell her you want to be paid in cash on the date of service.

READ THE OP AGAIN! I did not ask for the payment the day after the funeral, I asked when/if I would be paid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op Again.

Wow, some of you didn't read my post very well. I never "demanded the money". Not once. I asked if I was going to receive compensation on this check, or the next. MB said, "I can't deal with this right now." and I let it go. Never have I gotten my answer. Got my check yesterday, and guess what! Still nothing. I'm assuming she forgot, and I am bringing it up in person today. I prefer to communicate face to face. One of the reasons I despise these boards is because some of you don't even read the original post. You decided what you want to after skimming through and act is if I did something sacrilege. Asking for payment for extra hours is not "rude or insensitive".

Above from OP confirms that herMB deserved no benefit of the doubt. Don't let her screw you OP and let us know. Thanks

I don't think she is legitimately trying to screw me over. I really don't. She is very swamped which is one of the reasons I asked her on Monday about the paycheck. As much as this board would like to think I demanded my check, I did not! I asked when I would be paid, I reminded her. Maybe I should have waited a few days, but my intent was never to be rude or insensitive. I sent flowers to the funeral, I knew her aunt. I'd taken the children to visit her in the hospital several times.

[Anonymous]

OP, she is lucky to have you. There is no excuse for her not to have paid you in a timely fashion and it is unconscionable that you habe to ask her again. There is no way this is not intemtional.