Au Pair Ban by Administration
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Anonymous
Obviously #notallAuPairHirers!  but still important context and background of the system. I had 2 au pairs growing up (20 years ago) and even as a child I could tell that my parents were not treating the 2nd one properly. They wouldn’t Let her go out and see her friends in the evening/weekends when my parents were there to watch us. While you may think you treat your au pair like a family member, it is important to know about the exploitation many face.
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Anonymous
I honestly believe that the au pair experiences as described in the article above are exceptions not the norm. But yeah as a host family, my APs have told me of a couple of awful experiences from their AP friends. I believe that the number of bad families is probably proportional to the number of bad au pairs in the program. Nothing is perfect but I do agree that some agencies could have better support for au pairs who are not treated nicely. Every au pairs I have interviewed wanted to talk to my current au pair, how do these bad families keep getting au au pairs... |
Anonymous
Some host families will bypass giving the information of APs they know they have abused and give recommendations from the one good AP or baby sitters instead, it's easy for an HF to say they have never had an AP, how is an AP to know? I have been an AP several times and I have helped one of my host families find someone, I volunteered because this family was abusive and I wanted to warn other APs, they were a family in the Caribbean and I tried to warn other APs but APs heard the word '' Carribean'' and were already sold, they ended up with an AP who fought back against the abuse and the mom would call me to sort it (the AP was from the same country as me), they made adjustments after her and apologized several time to me since, realizing that they had treated me poorly, they have had 2 APs after that, none stayed for more than 3 months though they all had better deals than me and seem to overall have a good experience with the family, they also never asked me or the second AP for recommendation (and they seem too sweet to complain, type of girls). So honestly, it is easy for an host family to entice an AP, especially if you are in a good location and when you say whatever they want to hear. Once an AP is there, it's too late, and living where you work makes speaking up so much harder. I would say that some host families are really akin to abusive boyfriends where escaping means being both homeless and pennyless and losing it all. I think LCCs shouldn't be part of the agencies but should be part of the government. I bet you that some families (and APs) would behave completely differently if the person checking on them was an official entity. Modern slavery is very much alive and while I have loved being an AP and I don't regret any of my adventures because I wouldn't swap any minute with any of my kiddos, being an AP has shown me both the best and the worst of humanity in many sense of the word and I am not sure I would recommend it to my children (though I would happily have an AP (despite knowing enough bad APs to be warry of having one too.)) |
Anonymous
Ok. Posting this hit-job article from 2017 is just piling on. The program is dead. Lots of folks who post here wanted to kill the program. For years. Nannies. Bitter former au pairs. Trolls. Now the piling on begins. This program was not what the article describes. People with paying salary jobs in the U.S. have bad, illegal things happen, too. This one sided article from three years ago is being posted now to pile on to anyone who used the program to lump them in with all the bad actors that current social change is appropriately addressing (confederate flags, police brutality, systemic racism). The program did not end because of social change for the better. It was ended by a narcissistic idiot who is pandering to a racist, xenophobic base, and probably influenced (paid off) by the companies who profit from seeing the program end. Ending a visa based program to “protect US jobs” is not a move for social justice. That’s not positive social change. It’s bad policy. It screws working families who welcomed cultural exchange. It cuts off access to cultural exchange for 10s of thousands of young people to learn about and experience America. So pile on. Shill for a nanny placement firm. Good for you. But this was not about kindness or social justice. Just money. For a big company. Good for you. |
Anonymous
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You want some “worthwhile reading,” here is some worthwhile reading, and it’s not some click-bait one-sided sob story of “my host family was mean” from three years ago, it is from The NY Times about working families, yesterday:
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/02/business/covid-economy-parents-kids-career-homeschooling.html?referringSource=articleShare We see you, Jennifer McClellan. You chose $$$ over working mothers. You care about “workers rights?” Really, why didn’t you fight for agricultural workers in Virginia, too? Doesn’t that industry have a bad history in this state, too? Oh, right, it’s because a political group funded by Care.com gave you $300,000 to kill the au pair program, not to be an actual advocate for social justice. Don’t worry, the racist, xenophobic president has done your work for you. Now you and your paid cronies are trying to cover it up by slandering a dead program. A program that allowed women to have careers. You chose companies over working families. We see you too, shady lobbyists. Pretending to care about the program but then trying to cover for McClellan because she is your future paycheck. Just remember, in Virginia, the governor wore blackface. Do did the lt. governor. And they let them stay. It’s never about social justice. Just money and power. But we see you all. And women will NOT be set back 100 years so you can keep your $$$ and power. Change is coming. |
Anonymous
1453 here, great article. Our family in Europe tells us how all they are thinking about is our do they get kids back to school so parents can work, that has been the priority since day one, here it is all about how do we open bars, restaurants and saloons. How do we get people to spend money and pay taxes, no long term vision or solution! Sigh. |
Anonymous
Most agencies leave finances up to the family and nanny, because that way they can’t get sued (or closed down) for aiding and abetting tax evasion. Every agency I know does a basic background check, most do a thorough check and run a driving record search (if the nanny has a license). Most agencies have list of specific criteria that a nanny must meet in order to be matched through that agency. Most require that all listed experience be as a nanny, tutor, teacher, daycare or other paid child-related field. (Your Child’s Nanny does NOT; they told me to add in unpaid time caring for friends’ and relatives’ children, whether paid or unpaid.) Minimum years of experience to go through the agency varies by agency (usually 2-10). Every agency that requires experience verifies references in order to guarantee that the nanny has the requisite experience. Some allow you to contact references prior to interview, others after. Nannies with NDAs (ie prospective employers can’t contact a family with an active NDA) are more likely to go through an agency. Most agencies will only show you profiles for nannies that have expressed interest in talking with you and/or fit your profile. There’s no reason to show you someone unwilling to commute more than 45 minutes each way if you live 75 minutes from her residence. Nor is there any reason to show you live-in nannies, special needs nannies, part-time nannies or infant nannies if you want a full time live-out nanny for a 2yo and 4yo. Basically, you’ll get a list and/or interviews scheduled for however many are both interested in you and fit your needs. The more you tell the agency, the fewer people they’ll send you, because the agency will be able to winnow our obvious mismatches. |