Au Pair Ban by Administration

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with PP. we are also changing our plans and going to day care. The au pair program ( and the au pairs) is just not worth it anymore. The limited options, the rematch pool, all the crazy things host families are offering, it just does not make sense anymore. We encourage others to think hard and do the same... once we decided, finally we felt better, and stopped worrying about the continuity of the program. Yhere are other options!

Daycare in DC is $2k for 1 child. AP doesn’t come close to that, so families aren’t all going to want daycare.

[Anonymous]

Not true. We pay around $1200 for a really good day care. Even if it were 2k, that means 24k a year, and au pairs cost total ( including agency fees, car expenses, car insurance, house extra expensives, extra bonus people are now paying to the au pairs, vacation costs, etc, etc is easily more than 25k a year. To only consider the au pair cost the weekly stipend is not the right way to calculate total cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not true. We pay around $1200 for a really good day care. Even if it were 2k, that means 24k a year, and au pairs cost total ( including agency fees, car expenses, car insurance, house extra expensives, extra bonus people are now paying to the au pairs, vacation costs, etc, etc is easily more than 25k a year. To only consider the au pair cost the weekly stipend is not the right way to calculate total cost.

+1 Daycare in DC varies anywhere from $1200-1600 average. Au pairs program fees and stipend average $1600/month (then add all extra costs). So Daycare is definitely cheaper Unless you have 2+ kids. The au pairs program is attractive for the price but it is not the #1 reason most families get au pairs, it is combinations of reasons and every families reasons might be different.

[Anonymous]

We paid 2k a month per child in daycare in Arlington. So about 50k a year when you factor in fund raisers at al.
We got an ap when oldest was in K. It costs about 35k added up with vacations.

We could afford a nanny but do not need that many hours and really need care on snow days or random stuff like that.

We are going back to the program in March when visas are restored.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Enjoy, Trump voters!

Who cares? Au Pairs seem to hate the program, host parents are disappointed at least 50% of the time judging by rematch rates, and there have been too many legal challenges to the program for it to be a safe bet for parents just looking for child care. Good riddance. Most professionals are working from home now anyway, and they won't have to worry about giving someone "the best year" during a pandemic.

What on earth are you talking about? Our au pairs have become like family to us. Our kids adore them. Each au pair has stayed with us for two years and declared it the best experience of their lives. They've each gone home and gotten good professional jobs because of their fluency in English. It is great for many.

Professionals can't work from home with young kids without childcare indefinitely, nor while homeschooling. It just doesn't work. Having live in care (no exposure risk) during the pandemic has been amazing for our family.

I'm glad its working for you. Once the pandemic is over, you can get more au pairs. It's not exactly a crisis.

We had a new au pair arriving in few weeks. Now she can't come. We have no childcare. She has been planning this for a year and already quit her job and gave up her apartment to come, so she's unemployed and homeless. It's pretty darn close to a crisis for us and her.

Exactly. This sucks. Without full time school in the fall, how are people ever going to get back to work without options for childcare?

Only .03% of American families with children use au pairs. Which is to say rhat while APs are an option, they so rare as to be statistically irrelevant to the search for child care. The intent of the order was to increase work opportunities for Americans. Lots of displaced waitresses would love to have that job. Au Pairs are really just here for fun. I mean, we are all trying yo pull together as a country and help each other out right?

Hmm, not everyone wants a “displaced waitress” for childcare.

I have lots of lovely waitress friends and they all like kids on a superficial level and they would have no problem baby-sitting for 3 hours on a Saturday but looking after kids for 45hours is very different. Au pairs might be here for fun, but if you filtered the APs properly it wasn’t that hard to find qualified childcare with lots of experience with kids that a waitress simply doesn’t have. Also most independent adults who are not used to childcare might absolutely dread being home with kids PLUS the parents. It’s not like anyone right now working as a nanny or else will have the normal/ideal nanny conditions. I can’t see people who aren’t used to working with kids being reliable.

I can see lots of people thinking that’s what they want to do because they “like kids” and then realizing looking after kids full time during Covid isn’t fun and quitting after a bit, leaving parents in a tight spot.


Finding reliable local childcare is hard on good days, let alone right now, where qualified childcare is rare gold and everybody else is just winging it.

I’m also a hard pass on a “displaced waitress”. Au pairs have minimum childcare hour requirements and references in order to even be eligible for the program. Your average furloughed retail worker or waitress simply isn’t qualified to work with children all day.

Sweetie, beggars can't be choosers. You may have to hold your nose and hire someone who isn't perfectly qualified, or (gasp) consider daycare!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enjoy, Trump voters!

Who cares? Au Pairs seem to hate the program, host parents are disappointed at least 50% of the time judging by rematch rates, and there have been too many legal challenges to the program for it to be a safe bet for parents just looking for child care. Good riddance. Most professionals are working from home now anyway, and they won't have to worry about giving someone "the best year" during a pandemic.

What on earth are you talking about? Our au pairs have become like family to us. Our kids adore them. Each au pair has stayed with us for two years and declared it the best experience of their lives. They've each gone home and gotten good professional jobs because of their fluency in English. It is great for many.

Professionals can't work from home with young kids without childcare indefinitely, nor while homeschooling. It just doesn't work. Having live in care (no exposure risk) during the pandemic has been amazing for our family.

I'm glad its working for you. Once the pandemic is over, you can get more au pairs. It's not exactly a crisis.

We had a new au pair arriving in few weeks. Now she can't come. We have no childcare. She has been planning this for a year and already quit her job and gave up her apartment to come, so she's unemployed and homeless. It's pretty darn close to a crisis for us and her.

Exactly. This sucks. Without full time school in the fall, how are people ever going to get back to work without options for childcare?

Only .03% of American families with children use au pairs. Which is to say rhat while APs are an option, they so rare as to be statistically irrelevant to the search for child care. The intent of the order was to increase work opportunities for Americans. Lots of displaced waitresses would love to have that job. Au Pairs are really just here for fun. I mean, we are all trying yo pull together as a country and help each other out right?

Hmm, not everyone wants a “displaced waitress” for childcare.

I have lots of lovely waitress friends and they all like kids on a superficial level and they would have no problem baby-sitting for 3 hours on a Saturday but looking after kids for 45hours is very different. Au pairs might be here for fun, but if you filtered the APs properly it wasn’t that hard to find qualified childcare with lots of experience with kids that a waitress simply doesn’t have. Also most independent adults who are not used to childcare might absolutely dread being home with kids PLUS the parents. It’s not like anyone right now working as a nanny or else will have the normal/ideal nanny conditions. I can’t see people who aren’t used to working with kids being reliable.

I can see lots of people thinking that’s what they want to do because they “like kids” and then realizing looking after kids full time during Covid isn’t fun and quitting after a bit, leaving parents in a tight spot.


Finding reliable local childcare is hard on good days, let alone right now, where qualified childcare is rare gold and everybody else is just winging it.

I’m also a hard pass on a “displaced waitress”. Au pairs have minimum childcare hour requirements and references in order to even be eligible for the program. Your average furloughed retail worker or waitress simply isn’t qualified to work with children all day.

Sweetie, beggars can't be choosers. You may have to hold your nose and hire someone who isn't perfectly qualified, or (gasp) consider daycare!

The misogyny is real. And day cares are unlikely to be open.

[Anonymous]

Day cares are open. Mine children started back last week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enjoy, Trump voters!

Who cares? Au Pairs seem to hate the program, host parents are disappointed at least 50% of the time judging by rematch rates, and there have been too many legal challenges to the program for it to be a safe bet for parents just looking for child care. Good riddance. Most professionals are working from home now anyway, and they won't have to worry about giving someone "the best year" during a pandemic.

What on earth are you talking about? Our au pairs have become like family to us. Our kids adore them. Each au pair has stayed with us for two years and declared it the best experience of their lives. They've each gone home and gotten good professional jobs because of their fluency in English. It is great for many.

Professionals can't work from home with young kids without childcare indefinitely, nor while homeschooling. It just doesn't work. Having live in care (no exposure risk) during the pandemic has been amazing for our family.

I'm glad its working for you. Once the pandemic is over, you can get more au pairs. It's not exactly a crisis.

We had a new au pair arriving in few weeks. Now she can't come. We have no childcare. She has been planning this for a year and already quit her job and gave up her apartment to come, so she's unemployed and homeless. It's pretty darn close to a crisis for us and her.

Exactly. This sucks. Without full time school in the fall, how are people ever going to get back to work without options for childcare?

Only .03% of American families with children use au pairs. Which is to say rhat while APs are an option, they so rare as to be statistically irrelevant to the search for child care. The intent of the order was to increase work opportunities for Americans. Lots of displaced waitresses would love to have that job. Au Pairs are really just here for fun. I mean, we are all trying yo pull together as a country and help each other out right?

Hmm, not everyone wants a “displaced waitress” for childcare.

I have lots of lovely waitress friends and they all like kids on a superficial level and they would have no problem baby-sitting for 3 hours on a Saturday but looking after kids for 45hours is very different. Au pairs might be here for fun, but if you filtered the APs properly it wasn’t that hard to find qualified childcare with lots of experience with kids that a waitress simply doesn’t have. Also most independent adults who are not used to childcare might absolutely dread being home with kids PLUS the parents. It’s not like anyone right now working as a nanny or else will have the normal/ideal nanny conditions. I can’t see people who aren’t used to working with kids being reliable.

I can see lots of people thinking that’s what they want to do because they “like kids” and then realizing looking after kids full time during Covid isn’t fun and quitting after a bit, leaving parents in a tight spot.


Finding reliable local childcare is hard on good days, let alone right now, where qualified childcare is rare gold and everybody else is just winging it.

I’m also a hard pass on a “displaced waitress”. Au pairs have minimum childcare hour requirements and references in order to even be eligible for the program. Your average furloughed retail worker or waitress simply isn’t qualified to work with children all day.

Sweetie, beggars can't be choosers. You may have to hold your nose and hire someone who isn't perfectly qualified, or (gasp) consider daycare!

Nah, ended up choosing option 3. We’re hiring no one. Kids are getting older (youngest is 9) and husband and I will juggle transportation. Plus we’re both working flex schedules from home. For us, the au pair program was always more about the exchange aspect, and our au pairs never worked more than 20 hours a week anyway.

Generally speaking, I agree with the pp who said the visa ban sounds good in theory, but it doesn’t play out the way anyone intended when you play it forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Day cares are open. Mine children started back last week

My sisters kids have been going to daycare through this whole thing. Both are essential workers (LEO and nurse) .

We switched to a live in nanny (professional) in April and it was be like a breath of fresh air. The quality of care is so much different.

Just got back from vacation without having to drag someone along and it was sooo nice. Especially not to have to live with someone sulking.

[Anonymous]

Our au pair is staying, but if she left, we would hire nobody. Our kids are older and I mostly need help with the driving, but I could manage without.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we also switched to a live in nanny, and it was the best thing we could have done! We feel so much better, no more drama, the quality of her work is a thousand times better. She is still part of the family and is great to be around, but it so much more mature and helpful. Should have done this years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, we also switched to a live in nanny, and it was the best thing we could have done! We feel so much better, no more drama, the quality of her work is a thousand times better. She is still part of the family and is great to be around, but it so much more mature and helpful. Should have done this years ago.

Just curious: What are you paying and where are you located. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Day cares are open. Mine children started back last week

My sisters kids have been going to daycare through this whole thing. Both are essential workers (LEO and nurse) .

We switched to a live in nanny (professional) in April and it was be like a breath of fresh air. The quality of care is so much different.

Just got back from vacation without having to drag someone along and it was sooo nice. Especially not to have to live with someone sulking.

I am considering the live-in nanny route, What are you paying and where are you located. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Serious question: are there companies (other than the oft-mentioned WH Nannies) that screen nanny candidates in the way the AP agencies do? So you can see a pool of potential candidates that have been partially vetted? And can they structure the hiring logistics (taxes, health care, etc.)? Those two factors were big for us in opting for an AP in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Worthwhile reading— https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/03/au-pair-program-abuse-state-department-214956