MB asked me to work a few hours on Thanksgiving!!

[Anonymous]

Nannies can be fired anytime. They know when MB asks them to come in on a holiday that she wants them to say yes. Otherwise she wouldn't be asking - she would be assuming they might have their own plans and would at least try to find that information out first. Nannies know that if they say no they are jeopardizing a raise, a bonus, and even their job. The MB will be frustrated that nanny won't be flexible and come in on the holiday and will get resentful remembering that one time they let her go early at her request and now she won't even come in to help them. Does the MB really care if the nanny had plans or if she wants to come in - no, she needs an extra set of hands or she needs childcare. Nanny has to decide between standing up for herself against what MB wants (and being seen as inflexible, difficult, selfish, etc) or just give up her own plans to keep the peace and keep her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nannies can be fired anytime. They know when MB asks them to come in on a holiday that she wants them to say yes. Otherwise she wouldn't be asking - she would be assuming they might have their own plans and would at least try to find that information out first. Nannies know that if they say no they are jeopardizing a raise, a bonus, and even their job. The MB will be frustrated that nanny won't be flexible and come in on the holiday and will get resentful remembering that one time they let her go early at her request and now she won't even come in to help them. Does the MB really care if the nanny had plans or if she wants to come in - no, she needs an extra set of hands or she needs childcare. Nanny has to decide between standing up for herself against what MB wants (and being seen as inflexible, difficult, selfish, etc) or just give up her own plans to keep the peace and keep her job.

This is silly. Of course when anyone asks someone to do something they want the person to say yes. It is ridiculous to think I, as an MB, would fire someone or not give them a COL raise or end of year bonus for not doing things outside of their job description. It seems like you equate the word employer with the word enemy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why this caused so much cattiness.

MB - "Hey nanny, we realized we'd love some extra help on Thursday morning for a few hours since I realized how much I'll have to cook. Would you be able to come in for a few hours?"

Nanny - "Hmmm I'd love to help out, but I was planning on doing my own cooking that morning and we have to be at my aunt's house at 1pm. I'm sorry!" OR "Actually we were planning to just be sitting around in the morning, but I do have to go to my aunt's at 1pm - would 9-12pm be helpful? My holiday rate is X."

Why is this so difficult? If your MB asks you last minute to work on Thanksgiving and then gives you crap if you say no, then obviously you need to find a new job. No reasonable person would do that to someone. And wanting additional help for preparing a Thanksgiving meal doesn't make you an entitled snob. Jeez.

+1. The nannies who think the MB should not have asked need to grow up and start respecting themselves. Saying that no MB should ever offer holiday hours to her nanny implies that nannies as a group are not competent to make their own decisions about how best to spend their holidays, and therefore, all MBs should treat all nannies like children who need to be spared the burden of making decisions that might strain their developing brains.

And those of you calling out the laziness of the MB who hired childcare help while she cooked Thanksgiving dinner for 40 people are both out of touch with reality and jealous on many levels. No one gets a prize for doing everything by herself, in the hardest way possible, thereby ensuring that she is too exhausted and frazzled by 4:00 pm to enjoy her own guests.

[Anonymous]

Pp you miss the point others have been trying to make which is that HOW you ask if very important given most employees' natural reluctance to say no to employers' requests.
Fine: "We plan to hire someone to help out On Thanksgiving. You are welcome to the hours if you would like them but I assume you are liking celebrating with our family?"
Not OK: "nanny I really need a hand on thanksgiving. Would you be able to come in for a few hours?"

[Anonymous]

This is an insane conversation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone to work on a holiday. If they don't want to, all they need to do is politlely say no. My nanny would think it weirder if I brought someone else in without asking her. If I did, and she said no, I certainly wouldn't hold it against her - it's a holiday. You people are out of your minds.

[Anonymous]

I'm waiting for the nannies to start complaining because MB asks if they can work the evening of December 31.

[Anonymous]

My MB asked me work Thanksgiving Day when I used to work as a live-in and I just ignored her phone call. It was Thanksgiving and I wanted to spend the day with my friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp you miss the point others have been trying to make which is that HOW you ask if very important given most employees' natural reluctance to say no to employers' requests.
Fine: "We plan to hire someone to help out On Thanksgiving. You are welcome to the hours if you would like them but I assume you are liking celebrating with our family?"
Not OK: "nanny I really need a hand on thanksgiving. Would you be able to come in for a few hours?"

Continued attempts to explain this are futile. You're arguing with people who can't see past their own entitlement. Its much easier to call someone names, say they are jealous, or crazy, or whatever than to admit that just because you "can" do something doesn't mean you should. It is a selfish abuse of power and they know it, but they will never admit it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp you miss the point others have been trying to make which is that HOW you ask if very important given most employees' natural reluctance to say no to employers' requests.
Fine: "We plan to hire someone to help out On Thanksgiving. You are welcome to the hours if you would like them but I assume you are liking celebrating with our family?"
Not OK: "nanny I really need a hand on thanksgiving. Would you be able to come in for a few hours?"

Continued attempts to explain this are futile. You're arguing with people who can't see past their own entitlement. Its much easier to call someone names, say they are jealous, or crazy, or whatever than to admit that just because you "can" do something doesn't mean you should. It is a selfish abuse of power and they know it, but they will never admit it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Relax and try taking care of your kids for the day.

[Anonymous]

I usually try to be non-judgemental, but asking your nanny to work on Thankgsiving is a bit much for me. Um, no amount of money would make it worth it for me.

[Anonymous]

MB's, next time you hire a nanny, make sure they are Jehovahs Witness. They do not celebrate any holidays, and I am sure they would be very grateful and thankful to be your family's personal servant for whatever holiday you need her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I usually try to be non-judgemental, but asking your nanny to work on Thankgsiving is a bit much for me. Um, no amount of money would make it worth it for me.

Thats you though. Not all nannies are American and interested in celebrating thanksgiving, and some really want/need the money. My nanny is Ethiopian and does not like the bland tastes of the traditional thanksgiving dinners. She also has no family nearby, and is trying to. Send money home to her parents. To her, it's just a day where nobody works and everything is closed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I usually try to be non-judgemental, but asking your nanny to work on Thankgsiving is a bit much for me. Um, no amount of money would make it worth it for me.

Thats you though. Not all nannies are American and interested in celebrating thanksgiving, and some really want/need the money. My nanny is Ethiopian and does not like the bland tastes of the traditional thanksgiving dinners. She also has no family nearby, and is trying to. Send money home to her parents. To her, it's just a day where nobody works and everything is closed.

+1 I don't celebrate as well and would have been fine working as long as I was appropriately compensated.

[Anonymous]

Nannies are so unprofessional and lazy. What a joke. Get a real career if you want to be treated like a real professional and stop whinning.