When cleaning up after the kids becomes cleaning up after the adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I am quasi-compulsive about keeping the house neat and organized. It is true that in our house, at least, I would never leave a weekend's worth of dirty dishes piled in the sink, or large messes on the floor. If OP's family does that, then they are not very considerate (or clean).

However, it is also true that I do not always fold the laundry, empty the dishwasher; and that I sometimes do not get to making the beds, or putting away clothes from the night before.

Our nannies (two in twelve years) have always done this light housekeeping (make the beds, fold everyone's laundry and put it away, do the prep work for meals, vacuum dust or dirt off the kitchen/living room floor, work in tandem with me to organize drawers and closets, bookshelves and cabinets). I greatly appreciate the nanny's help with all of these tasks.

I think that other posters have it right, there is a difference between asking and expecting your nanny to do relatively "normal" (but perhaps still time-consuming and difficult) work around the house, and showing no consideration by leaving piles of dirty dishes and household items strewn everywhere like a slob.

After all, would you like to pick up after MB's used tampons (not done here, but the same slippery slope)?

you sound like a great employer considering you've had only two nannies in twelve years!!

[Anonymous]

I think the problem is that most parents consider child-related housekeeping such as changing diaper pails and managing supplies and toys a standard part of nanny work, not a "light housekeeping" add-on that must be specifically negotiated, like making beds, doing parents' laundry, and starting dinner. I have NEVER warned a nanny that she might have extra work in her standard child-related duties on Mondays because I think this goes without saying. Who doesn't find Mondays harder than usual at work? Nannies who want to hold parents to a certain standard of cleanliness need to make that explicit rather than expecting parents to seek the nanny's permission on that front, because the nanny's position is the unusual one here.

As for the comments about nannies being just as busy on the weekends as parents are, that may or may not be true in any particular case. It's really irrelevant. You don't get to choose whether or not to do your job as the parents have defined it based on how busy you think the family was over the weekend. And keep in mind, nannies, that you also have the option to hire outside help to make your own weekends less busy.

[Anonymous]

And parents who have no pride in their home and no desire to teach their own children to be responsible can do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The people talking about nannies being lazy and not wanting to do something that is not fun are trying to lie to themselves that they aren't lazy asses themselves. If a nanny does it willingly all week long, she is not lazy. But it IS understandable that she doesn't want to clean up after your kids weekend, when it looks like a tornado hit the house sometime after they left on Friday. That is your duty, stop shirking it!

You seem to lack understanding that you were hired to do a job. The employer can choose to outsource whatever she wants. Its not her duty to launder the clothes the kids wore them on the weekend if she decided to hire a nanny to do laundry.

If you don't want the job, you are free to quit. The reason so many of you are angry is that you have this fantasy of a job that requires no work. You don't quit because you know that its difficult to find another job and even harder to find one that requires little work. This should tell you that work is actually work. As a nanny, your job is to make the families life easier not expect the family to do whatever they can to minimize your workload while they are paying you.

Obviously you didn't read my whole post. Or you wouldn't have missed this part "Asking the nanny to do a few little things occasionally that are not child related, or was from the weekend during their off hours is one thing, expecting the nanny to start being a household manager/family assistant/housekeeper in addition to her actual job duties specified during interviews and contract, is not ok! If you want someone that does all that extra stuff, ASK FOR IT before you hire them. Then you will find the ones that are willing to do it, but also will find that many will expect more money for their pay rate, since you are asking for job duties that are not standard to a nanny position."

You want it to be part of the job duties, THEN ASK FOR IT TO BE while you are in the interview/contract signing process! You cannot say that job duties will be A, B, and C, and then decide later on that you are suddenly going to throw in D, E, F, G, and then maybe H and J as well. That is not what the nanny signed up for, she agreed to A, B, and C. If you find a nanny that will do A-J for you, then great. There are plenty out there that will, and I am actually one of them that DOES for one of my positions since that is what I agreed to do. My other positions, I did NOT agree to do those extras and I am not getting paid the wage that I would be asking for to do all that. So again, if you want something then you have to say something about it beforehand. It is not the MB's right to randomly add stuff to the list of job duties at a later point without discussing it with the nanny first. If you don't ask about it, then it *is* YOUR job duty as the parent to do it (or your duty to hire a housekeeper that will etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem is that most parents consider child-related housekeeping such as changing diaper pails and managing supplies and toys a standard part of nanny work, not a "light housekeeping" add-on that must be specifically negotiated, like making beds, doing parents' laundry, and starting dinner.

I haven't seen any nannies on this thread saying that this is too much and not part of their job. We are all talking about inconsiderate parents that leave a huge mess from the weekend and expect that to be dealt with by the nanny come Monday morning. A few toys here and there, a couple dishes is nothing. It's the MOUNDS of items laying around, stuff that any family should be horrified to even see their house looking like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't get to choose whether or not to do your job as the parents have defined it based on how busy you think the family was over the weekend. And keep in mind, nannies, that you also have the option to hire outside help to make your own weekends less busy.

Again, not what we were talking about. But yes, we can hire a housekeeper to come clean up for us, but the family can also hire someone to come clean up after them on the weekends as well. If I am doing that kind of cleaning then I want to be paid the money that a housekeeper gets paid to do all the dishes from the weekend and clean up what looks like a cyclone hit, in addition to what I normally do as a nanny.

[Anonymous]

I wish more parents would just take care of their own kids. Is semi sad. Especially these mothers that don't work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't it's going to get any better. Time to find a new job

Easier said then done.

I really rather keep this job, since that's the only issue I have. The pay is fair, and it took me forever to find this job.

You talk to them about this. COMMUNICATE!.

[Anonymous]

I have the same problem. I arrived today and it looked like there were about 8 toddlers in a room that were left alone. The living room was covered with crap! I shouldn't walk into the house and have to clean it. It was really bad and I am a clean person so I do clean up after the parents. Put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, put food they left out back in the fridge and if come to drop the children off in the evening and their breakfast scrap is still sitting at the dinning room table. How hard is it to clear your plate and toss in the sink or dishwasher? UGH!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the same problem. I arrived today and it looked like there were about 8 toddlers in a room that were left alone. The living room was covered with crap! I shouldn't walk into the house and have to clean it. It was really bad and I am a clean person so I do clean up after the parents. Put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, put food they left out back in the fridge and if come to drop the children off in the evening and their breakfast scrap is still sitting at the dinning room table. How hard is it to clear your plate and toss in the sink or dishwasher? UGH!

Stop cleaning up after adults. They do this because they know you will clean up their filth. Leave their mess and you clean up after you and children while you are on duty. If they complain then tell them how much extra you ate charging to clean up after them and paid in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been with my family for about 5 months, not too terribly long. I love the kids, they are very young and really rarely see the parents but they seem ok.

My only real issue is I feel like I spend 50% of my time with the children cleaning. It is in my contract to do the children's laundry weekly, vacuum the nursery, children's room, and playroom twice weekly, and essentially clean up after myself and the children. Pretty standard stuff, not to bad once I get a schedule for myself. However, it's gotten to the point where I am cleaning up after the parents. Not their belongings, but the mess they allow the children to make I end up cleaning up. It's ridiculous. I wouldn't mind it if it was a few toys and dishes, but I've gotten to work on a Monday and it's just horrible. It will take me half the day to clean it all up. It's like they let them run loose and think, "Oh, the nanny will get to it." My job is to take care of children, and I will clean up after them and do child related tasks but I'm not going to continue to clean up messes that are made when I am not here.

I actually mentioned it several times, and they both seemed obvious. I've arrived and seen the messes, and literally picked up everything that they got out while I was here, but left the mess that was made on my time-out. I got fussed at for not completely my "chores" for the day. Every time I mention it they just brush it off, what's the best way to approach them to let them know I'm serious?

This is why lots of nannies just leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do they pay you?

That is completely irrelevant. Even if OP is paid 20+ it still doesn't make it right for the parents to leave the weekend mess for nanny to clean.

If the OP is truly spending 50% of her work hours cleaning child-related messes, then something is wrong. Beyond that, I don't think this is a clear cut as some of you think. My nanny's job includes cleaning up after the children, managing their laundry and wardrobes, maintaining/sanitizing/assembling/otherwise caring for their toys and gear, stocking the changing areas and emptying diaper pails, etc. I have never differentiated between messes made on my watch and messes made on the nanny's watch. It's all her job, because I've hired her to assist me with all things child-related. Does that mean I leave her dirty kid dishes and bottles from a weekend, or other unsanitary conditions? Absolutely not. But do I expect her to launder the clothes the kids wore on the weekend, and organize any toys that were left out during her off-work hours, and sanitize germs left on toys or gear over a weekend? Absolutely. She and I are not doing the same job on alternating shifts, and my focus when I am in my home needs to be much broader than hers. I have never spelled this out by contract, but have never had a nanny who had a problem with this. If I did, I would likely replace her because my life is simply too busy for that kind of pettiness.

By the way, most professional jobs, including my own, work the same way. When I take time off, my boss deals with true emergencies, but most of the work that comes in during my absence simply piles up and waits for my return.

Bottom line is that nannies who only want to be responsible for cleaning messes made on their own watch need to make that explicit during the interview process. Most moms expect that kind of arrangement with occasional babysitters, but not with full time professional nannies.

I'm a nanny and I agree with this MB. I've been lucky never to work for families that took advantage of me so I understand why some nannies would be put-off by her description, but I still don't think PP MB deserves all the nastiness you guys are posting. I came in to work this morning and changed all the nursery linens, emptied the diaper pail that filled up over the weekend, took out the kitchen trash which was completely full, put away the clean dishes and started the dishwasher running for the dirty ones. All of those things accumulated during my weekend off, but it's my job to keep things here running smoothly. What did the parents do this weekend? They cooked a bunch of toddler meals and stuck them in the fridge, bought them some sand toys and took the kids to the beach, ran a charity 10K, had a date night, and attended a child's birthday party. Hardly sitting around being lazy and thinking of how they could best use my labor on Monday morning, so I don't mind taking care of anything they didn't fit in to their busy two days.

As an aside, I have a standard benefits package with two weeks vacation - one of their choice, one of mine. MB told me today I could choose both weeks on my own schedule, as well as have an extra-long (paid) weekend on the 4th of July. This is the kind of reciprocity that a good attitude and work ethic breeds. They also asked me to extend my contract even though they'd planned on starting daycare in the fall (presumably for multiple reasons but I do believe that with a grumpy, petty nanny their decision would have been weighted much more towards daycare). I don't doubt that some of you work for ungrateful or clueless parents, but changing YOUR attitude is the first step toward building a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship with them. Imagine if you were the parents, running around all weekend but the whole time worrying about having the house in pristine condition before your nanny arrives Monday morning. That's a miserable prospect! You're supposed to make their lives easier, not harder. To 8:59 - get the kids to pick them up! It only becomes nanny's job if you sullenly clean up all of those toys - leave them strewn about, make fun plans for the afternoon, then remind the kids you can't go out until they've tidied up their toys. Then put on some music and clean them up together. Done. No one can take advantage of you unless you let them.

OP, I stand by my original statement that you NEED to talk to your employers, because what they are asking you requires your consent - as it is a change in terms - and a higher pay rate as it is much more housekeeping. If they hired you for childcare and you're spending 50% of your time cleaning up, something is wrong and you all need to get on the same page one way or another.

Oh look! It's a " pick me"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish more parents would just take care of their own kids. Is semi sad. Especially these mothers that don't work.

Both parents should be more hands-on with their children’s care. Children need their fathers just as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do they pay you?

That is completely irrelevant. Even if OP is paid 20+ it still doesn't make it right for the parents to leave the weekend mess for nanny to clean.

If the OP is truly spending 50% of her work hours cleaning child-related messes, then something is wrong. Beyond that, I don't think this is a clear cut as some of you think. My nanny's job includes cleaning up after the children, managing their laundry and wardrobes, maintaining/sanitizing/assembling/otherwise caring for their toys and gear, stocking the changing areas and emptying diaper pails, etc. I have never differentiated between messes made on my watch and messes made on the nanny's watch. It's all her job, because I've hired her to assist me with all things child-related. Does that mean I leave her dirty kid dishes and bottles from a weekend, or other unsanitary conditions? Absolutely not. But do I expect her to launder the clothes the kids wore on the weekend, and organize any toys that were left out during her off-work hours, and sanitize germs left on toys or gear over a weekend? Absolutely. She and I are not doing the same job on alternating shifts, and my focus when I am in my home needs to be much broader than hers. I have never spelled this out by contract, but have never had a nanny who had a problem with this. If I did, I would likely replace her because my life is simply too busy for that kind of pettiness.

By the way, most professional jobs, including my own, work the same way. When I take time off, my boss deals with true emergencies, but most of the work that comes in during my absence simply piles up and waits for my return.

Bottom line is that nannies who only want to be responsible for cleaning messes made on their own watch need to make that explicit during the interview process. Most moms expect that kind of arrangement with occasional babysitters, but not with full time professional nannies.

I'm a nanny and I agree with this MB. I've been lucky never to work for families that took advantage of me so I understand why some nannies would be put-off by her description, but I still don't think PP MB deserves all the nastiness you guys are posting. I came in to work this morning and changed all the nursery linens, emptied the diaper pail that filled up over the weekend, took out the kitchen trash which was completely full, put away the clean dishes and started the dishwasher running for the dirty ones. All of those things accumulated during my weekend off, but it's my job to keep things here running smoothly. What did the parents do this weekend? They cooked a bunch of toddler meals and stuck them in the fridge, bought them some sand toys and took the kids to the beach, ran a charity 10K, had a date night, and attended a child's birthday party. Hardly sitting around being lazy and thinking of how they could best use my labor on Monday morning, so I don't mind taking care of anything they didn't fit in to their busy two days.

As an aside, I have a standard benefits package with two weeks vacation - one of their choice, one of mine. MB told me today I could choose both weeks on my own schedule, as well as have an extra-long (paid) weekend on the 4th of July. This is the kind of reciprocity that a good attitude and work ethic breeds. They also asked me to extend my contract even though they'd planned on starting daycare in the fall (presumably for multiple reasons but I do believe that with a grumpy, petty nanny their decision would have been weighted much more towards daycare). I don't doubt that some of you work for ungrateful or clueless parents, but changing YOUR attitude is the first step toward building a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship with them. Imagine if you were the parents, running around all weekend but the whole time worrying about having the house in pristine condition before your nanny arrives Monday morning. That's a miserable prospect! You're supposed to make their lives easier, not harder. To 8:59 - get the kids to pick them up! It only becomes nanny's job if you sullenly clean up all of those toys - leave them strewn about, make fun plans for the afternoon, then remind the kids you can't go out until they've tidied up their toys. Then put on some music and clean them up together. Done. No one can take advantage of you unless you let them.

OP, I stand by my original statement that you NEED to talk to your employers, because what they are asking you requires your consent - as it is a change in terms - and a higher pay rate as it is much more housekeeping. If they hired you for childcare and you're spending 50% of your time cleaning up, something is wrong and you all need to get on the same page one way or another.

Oh look! It's a " pick me"

I was about to say the same thing. How pathetic to make excuses for adults this way. It’s so disgusting to leave a stinky diaper pail and sink full of dirty dishes all weekend be use you went to the beach and ran in a damned race. If anything doing all of that means your home should be clean. Who does all of that with s filthy house?

[Anonymous]

^^ You are either the one year job nanny or 1% nanny working with wealthy family who have full household staff. If you demand a sparkling clean workspace you should be working in an office and not a home with kids!!