When cleaning up after the kids becomes cleaning up after the adults.

[Anonymous]

I have been with my family for about 5 months, not too terribly long. I love the kids, they are very young and really rarely see the parents but they seem ok.

My only real issue is I feel like I spend 50% of my time with the children cleaning. It is in my contract to do the children's laundry weekly, vacuum the nursery, children's room, and playroom twice weekly, and essentially clean up after myself and the children. Pretty standard stuff, not to bad once I get a schedule for myself. However, it's gotten to the point where I am cleaning up after the parents. Not their belongings, but the mess they allow the children to make I end up cleaning up. It's ridiculous. I wouldn't mind it if it was a few toys and dishes, but I've gotten to work on a Monday and it's just horrible. It will take me half the day to clean it all up. It's like they let them run loose and think, "Oh, the nanny will get to it." My job is to take care of children, and I will clean up after them and do child related tasks but I'm not going to continue to clean up messes that are made when I am not here.

I actually mentioned it several times, and they both seemed obvious. I've arrived and seen the messes, and literally picked up everything that they got out while I was here, but left the mess that was made on my time-out. I got fussed at for not completely my "chores" for the day. Every time I mention it they just brush it off, what's the best way to approach them to let them know I'm serious?

[Anonymous]

I don't it's going to get any better. Time to find a new job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't it's going to get any better. Time to find a new job

Easier said then done.

I really rather keep this job, since that's the only issue I have. The pay is fair, and it took me forever to find this job.

[Anonymous]

In your mind - you're there to take care of the children.

In their mnd - you are there to take care of everything - including them, their house, their personal baggage, their mess, their child's mess, the dogs mess, the groceries, the cleaning, the toilets, the child's poop, cook for them all, clean for them all, take out their garbage, clean some more, iron some more, smile, keep the house in tip top shape, run a few errands. "And if you could do all that before 5.30pm when I get home that would be appreciated, oh and you missed a spot".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In your mind - you're there to take care of the children.

In their mnd - you are there to take care of everything - including them, their house, their personal baggage, their mess, their child's mess, the dogs mess, the groceries, the cleaning, the toilets, the child's poop, cook for them all, clean for them all, take out their garbage, clean some more, iron some more, smile, keep the house in tip top shape, run a few errands. "And if you could do all that before 5.30pm when I get home that would be appreciated, oh and you missed a spot".

That's how I feel sometimes.

I'd like to think that they are just so busy they don't realize what they are leaving me with, but sometimes I think it's on purpose. I mean, dishes from Friday night will be there for me Monday morning.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are responsible for cleaning up after the kids, not just for cleaning up the mess the kids make on your time.

You can try to renegotiate, but the parents will probably be firm on what they want and expect.

[Anonymous]

They "fussed" at you for not completing your "chores"? These are not chores, they are either jobs you are assigned to do or jobs you are not assigned to do.

Also it isn't enough to "feel" like you spend 50% of your time cleaning - keep track for two weeks. See how much time you're actually spending on tasks that aren't in your contract (like cleaning up messes made when you were off-duty). If it's a significant amount of time, then...

it sounds like you need to have a formal sit-down with them. Bring a copy of your contract. Ask them if they've been satisfied with your performance so far and what they would like you to improve upon. Take their feedback professionally, whether it is helpful or idiotic, and then tell them you have been enjoying working for them and with the kids but you have one small concern you wanted to address. Then tell them what you told us - you don't mind cleaning up after yourself and the kids during the day, nor completing the specific tasks outlined in your contract, but you've been spending Xhours per day/week cleaning up messes the kids made during your off hours/days. Give them two or three concrete examples. Tell them you feel like you're not giving the children as much enriching interaction as you could if you weren't so busy cleaning. Mention the time you didn't get everything done, apologize, then explain that it was your understanding that you'd been hired primarily for childcare and not housework, so on a day when something had to give you chose to let the cleaning slide. Ask them if that is what they want, or if their priority is cleaning. Give them the chance to clarify their position on all these issues and if you don't find that you're on the same page and they DO want you more for housekeeping, tell them you would consider continuing to perform these additional tasks that weren't included in your contract, but that your hourly cleaning rate is higher than your hourly nannying rate so you'd need to renegotiate compensation since you were renegotiating your responsibilities.

Basically just go in and advocate for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Just start looking for your next job, OP. It's better to start now, before you suddenly burn out and have to quit, without a plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In your mind - you're there to take care of the children.

In their mnd - you are there to take care of everything - including them, their house, their personal baggage, their mess, their child's mess, the dogs mess, the groceries, the cleaning, the toilets, the child's poop, cook for them all, clean for them all, take out their garbage, clean some more, iron some more, smile, keep the house in tip top shape, run a few errands. "And if you could do all that before 5.30pm when I get home that would be appreciated, oh and you missed a spot".

Yes. Make sure you do it with a smile too

[Anonymous]

Honestly, this happens to a lot of nannies. I think it just depends on how much you are willing to put up with, and how good the pay is. I worked for a family that let their kids just go crazy. They never made the kids clean up after themselves. Why would they?! They never cleaned up after themselves either! I spent all day just cleaning up their mess. It was exhausting! It made me physically ill to see that kind of mess everyday when I got to work. Just complete disregard for cleanliness and order. After I had spent hours straightening it the day before! So when the money wasn't worth it- I quit. Sounds like you should do the same. It only gets worse, not better. And if you start complaining, they'll just fire you and find somebody else.

[Anonymous]

I had this same monday morning situation - and when I confronted the children - it was mostly their mess as they were grubby teenagers - they said 'but that's what you're paid for'. So I trained them not to be spoilt brats and to put their dishes away and told them if they were there on monday they would still be their monday after school waiting for them to put in the dishwasher. The father (single household) continued to leave all his out though. The child got somewhat better.

If they were younger it wouldn't have worked. The parents do it because they like having someone they pay picking up after them.

[Anonymous]

The only way I could stay in this type of situation is if I was being paid a very pretty penny. It could be worth it. So think about how much they are paying you and if it is indeed worth it to stay.

If not, then I would seek another family.
Nannies should not have daily/weekly "chores." I am sorry, the only "chore" they should have is caring for the kids. Common sense dictates that nannies are responsible for cleaning up any toys/dishes/messes used and made during her shift. I.e., a child spills juice on the kitchen floor, then the nanny should mop it up. Or a child makes crumbs on the carpet, the nanny is responsible for vacuuming the rug, etc.

You are right in your assertion that a nanny's job is to take of the kids.
You do not have to be vacuuming and doing the laundry, considering that you are caring for more than one small child at a time. WTF??

And yes, I am pretty sure the family makes a mess on weekends, with the assumption that the nanny will clean up after them on Monday.

I say collect your final paycheck and leave them to do their own washing and cleaning.

Or if you stay, suggest perhaps a maid service? Or a laundress??

[Anonymous]

If you have raised it and they are not only oblivious but nagging you for not cleaning up their own mess, you need to decide if you can live with this or if you prefer to find a new job. that is not the way it SHOULD be - almost all on here will agree with you that they should not be doing this - but that is the reality of the situation. You need to make your choice based on the factors you can control.

[Anonymous]

I literally have this discussion with my bosses every Monday. Yes it's my job to clean up after the kids, do their weekly laundry, prep their meals, and clean the kitchen after but ONLY during my working hours M-F. It's your job when I'm not here. If it were still my job even though I'm off the clock, do you just not change/feed/clean after them when I'm gone as well? Wtf

[Anonymous]

It sounds like they expect you to clean up after the kids, whenever the mess was made. What does your contract say? If it isn't specific, you're kind of stuck doing it, or getting a new job. You have to decide how big a deal it really is.