How do you get your au pair to do just a little but more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP. I’m Canadian and when I moved to the US I thought it was so weird parents didn’t do the bedtime routine, if they were home. It took me awhile to adjust to this because (in my mind) this was not normal. Maybe the AP doesn’t understand that in the US parents need a lot more help with these kinds of things. I mean, I had to move to the US to be a professional nanny because that really donest exist in Canada. Yes we have a caregiver program and people have nannies but it’s not like here.

We are a high income family and I don't know a single person who has someone else put their kids to bed. Not one.
Not at all a norm in America
You worked for a very unusual family.

No, actually, I know a lot of families who on occasion have others put their kids to bed. Out goes to bed between 4:30-6:00 (bad daytime napper). When she goes to bed earlier, AP puts her to bed, when she goes to bed on later and on weekends, we put her to bed. Stop parent-shaming.

Do you feel you are being shamed? If so, make some changes as that’s your choice. No one is shaming you by voicing their opinion.

In the same breath you both telling someone what they are doing need is 1) a choice; 2) needs to be changed; 3) what is a "norm in America". You are either ignorant AF (likely), or understand you are guilty of, e.g., gas-lighting and mommy shaming and do not care. Plenty of families in the US have au pairs/nannies/babysitters do or assist with bedtime. In fact, many psychologists encourage a short bedtime routine of 10-20 minutes, at a set time every day, to encourage self-soothing. It is more important that kids get to sleep than wait up for their parents to get home so that their parents can put them to bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP. I’m Canadian and when I moved to the US I thought it was so weird parents didn’t do the bedtime routine, if they were home. It took me awhile to adjust to this because (in my mind) this was not normal. Maybe the AP doesn’t understand that in the US parents need a lot more help with these kinds of things. I mean, I had to move to the US to be a professional nanny because that really donest exist in Canada. Yes we have a caregiver program and people have nannies but it’s not like here.

We are a high income family and I don't know a single person who has someone else put their kids to bed. Not one.
Not at all a norm in America
You worked for a very unusual family.

No, actually, I know a lot of families who on occasion have others put their kids to bed. Out goes to bed between 4:30-6:00 (bad daytime napper). When she goes to bed earlier, AP puts her to bed, when she goes to bed on later and on weekends, we put her to bed. Stop parent-shaming.

Do you feel you are being shamed? If so, make some changes as that’s your choice. No one is shaming you by voicing their opinion.

In the same breath you both telling someone what they are doing need is 1) a choice; 2) needs to be changed; 3) what is a "norm in America". You are either ignorant AF (likely), or understand you are guilty of, e.g., gas-lighting and mommy shaming and do not care. Plenty of families in the US have au pairs/nannies/babysitters do or assist with bedtime. In fact, many psychologists encourage a short bedtime routine of 10-20 minutes, at a set time every day, to encourage self-soothing. It is more important that kids get to sleep than wait up for their parents to get home so that their parents can put them to bed.

You don’t understand how message boards work. Different people post. You want to call someone “ignorant AF,” look in the mirror. You feel shame, that’s on you. Someone else’s opinions shouldn’t hurt you so much. I don’t care one bit if your feelings are hurt by opinions. That’s a personal issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP. I’m Canadian and when I moved to the US I thought it was so weird parents didn’t do the bedtime routine, if they were home. It took me awhile to adjust to this because (in my mind) this was not normal. Maybe the AP doesn’t understand that in the US parents need a lot more help with these kinds of things. I mean, I had to move to the US to be a professional nanny because that really donest exist in Canada. Yes we have a caregiver program and people have nannies but it’s not like here.

We are a high income family and I don't know a single person who has someone else put their kids to bed. Not one.
Not at all a norm in America
You worked for a very unusual family.

No, actually, I know a lot of families who on occasion have others put their kids to bed. Out goes to bed between 4:30-6:00 (bad daytime napper). When she goes to bed earlier, AP puts her to bed, when she goes to bed on later and on weekends, we put her to bed. Stop parent-shaming.

Do you feel you are being shamed? If so, make some changes as that’s your choice. No one is shaming you by voicing their opinion.

In the same breath you both telling someone what they are doing need is 1) a choice; 2) needs to be changed; 3) what is a "norm in America". You are either ignorant AF (likely), or understand you are guilty of, e.g., gas-lighting and mommy shaming and do not care. Plenty of families in the US have au pairs/nannies/babysitters do or assist with bedtime. In fact, many psychologists encourage a short bedtime routine of 10-20 minutes, at a set time every day, to encourage self-soothing. It is more important that kids get to sleep than wait up for their parents to get home so that their parents can put them to bed.

You don’t understand how message boards work. Different people post. You want to call someone “ignorant AF,” look in the mirror. You feel shame, that’s on you. Someone else’s opinions shouldn’t hurt you so much. I don’t care one bit if your feelings are hurt by opinions. That’s a personal issue.

Absolutely. Different people post. I think you are indeed ignorant AF. It's my opinion and I'm sticking to it! I don't care if you care/don't care - 'cause ya seem daft.