How do you get your au pair to do just a little but more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP. I’m Canadian and when I moved to the US I thought it was so weird parents didn’t do the bedtime routine, if they were home. It took me awhile to adjust to this because (in my mind) this was not normal. Maybe the AP doesn’t understand that in the US parents need a lot more help with these kinds of things. I mean, I had to move to the US to be a professional nanny because that really donest exist in Canada. Yes we have a caregiver program and people have nannies but it’s not like here.

We are a high income family and I don't know a single person who has someone else put their kids to bed. Not one.
Not at all a norm in America
You worked for a very unusual family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP. I’m Canadian and when I moved to the US I thought it was so weird parents didn’t do the bedtime routine, if they were home. It took me awhile to adjust to this because (in my mind) this was not normal. Maybe the AP doesn’t understand that in the US parents need a lot more help with these kinds of things. I mean, I had to move to the US to be a professional nanny because that really donest exist in Canada. Yes we have a caregiver program and people have nannies but it’s not like here.

We are a high income family and I don't know a single person who has someone else put their kids to bed. Not one.
Not at all a norm in America
You worked for a very unusual family.

No, actually, I know a lot of families who on occasion have others put their kids to bed. Out goes to bed between 4:30-6:00 (bad daytime napper). When she goes to bed earlier, AP puts her to bed, when she goes to bed on later and on weekends, we put her to bed. Stop parent-shaming.

[Anonymous]

This op again. I’m not taking about putting them to bed by herself. I’m talking about helping me. Most families I know have both parents helping with bedtime so clearly 2 putting the kids to bed is easier than 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This op again. I’m not taking about putting them to bed by herself. I’m talking about helping me. Most families I know have both parents helping with bedtime so clearly 2 putting the kids to bed is easier than 1.

It’s often both parents because that’s what the kids are demanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This op again. I’m not taking about putting them to bed by herself. I’m talking about helping me. Most families I know have both parents helping with bedtime so clearly 2 putting the kids to bed is easier than 1.

Yeah, I’ve put 7 to bed... by myself. You could do it, you just don’t want to. That’s fine, just tell AP what you want done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This op again. I’m not taking about putting them to bed by herself. I’m talking about helping me. Most families I know have both parents helping with bedtime so clearly 2 putting the kids to bed is easier than 1.

Yeah, I’ve put 7 to bed... by myself. You could do it, you just don’t want to. That’s fine, just tell AP what you want done.

Thank you for a little perspective here. I imagine your children have a better perspective on life, as well. Namely, that the world doesn’t revolve around each child 24/7.

I see many children becoming handicapped because they have learned to believe that they can’t possibly function successfully if they don’t have an adult breathing down their necks every possible moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This op again. I’m not taking about putting them to bed by herself. I’m talking about helping me. Most families I know have both parents helping with bedtime so clearly 2 putting the kids to bed is easier than 1.

Yeah, I’ve put 7 to bed... by myself. You could do it, you just don’t want to. That’s fine, just tell AP what you want done.

Thank you for a little perspective here. I imagine your children have a better perspective on life, as well. Namely, that the world doesn’t revolve around each child 24/7.

I see many children becoming handicapped because they have learned to believe that they can’t possibly function successfully if they don’t have an adult breathing down their necks every possible moment.

DP. If you read the PP, she stated that it's fine for OP to put her kids to bed with AP's help. Noone asked you to be all judgy

[Anonymous]

Wow not a pp but you guys are super judgy. You totally missed op’s point. Anyway op just give her some direction. I just got back from a week vacation (without AP) and let AP have the time as an extra (third or fourth I’ve lost count) week of vacation where she was home all week and we gave her the (limited) use of our car for free. After an entire week of her at home we returned and the dishwasher was not unloaded. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow not a pp but you guys are super judgy. You totally missed op’s point. Anyway op just give her some direction. I just got back from a week vacation (without AP) and let AP have the time as an extra (third or fourth I’ve lost count) week of vacation where she was home all week and we gave her the (limited) use of our car for free. After an entire week of her at home we returned and the dishwasher was not unloaded. Geez.

Just curious, at what age will your kids be emptying the dishwasher?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow not a pp but you guys are super judgy. You totally missed op’s point. Anyway op just give her some direction. I just got back from a week vacation (without AP) and let AP have the time as an extra (third or fourth I’ve lost count) week of vacation where she was home all week and we gave her the (limited) use of our car for free. After an entire week of her at home we returned and the dishwasher was not unloaded. Geez.

Just curious, at what age will your kids be emptying the dishwasher?

How is that relevant!? My kids were not at home all week; au pair was. Commenters on this page are nasty. Nannies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow not a pp but you guys are super judgy. You totally missed op’s point. Anyway op just give her some direction. I just got back from a week vacation (without AP) and let AP have the time as an extra (third or fourth I’ve lost count) week of vacation where she was home all week and we gave her the (limited) use of our car for free. After an entire week of her at home we returned and the dishwasher was not unloaded. Geez.

Just curious, at what age will your kids be emptying the dishwasher?

How is that relevant!? My kids were not at home all week; au pair was. Commenters on this page are nasty. Nannies? Also when I say the dishwasher wasn’t unloaded... I meant they were the same dishes we put in there right before we left last Saturday when we turned on the washer. I know au pair bought groceries to cook (she sent us the receipt) so she must have hand washed her plates deliberately so as to not unload the dishwasher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How is that relevant!? My kids were not at home all week; au pair was. Commenters on this page are nasty. Nannies? Also when I say the dishwasher wasn’t unloaded... I meant they were the same dishes we put in there right before we left last Saturday when we turned on the washer. I know au pair bought groceries to cook (she sent us the receipt) so she must have hand washed her plates deliberately so as to not unload the dishwasher.

Wow! That’s absolutely ridiculous of AP. I get they weren’t her dishes but HP didn’t have to offer the time off as free vacation or use of the car either. Talk about a bad roomie. Next time you leave, schedule her to do “child” related chores like cleaning out kids closets or toys.

[Anonymous]

Don’t the employers have to have accessible transportation for AP? Some neighborhoods have public transportation, but many don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow not a pp but you guys are super judgy. You totally missed op’s point. Anyway op just give her some direction. I just got back from a week vacation (without AP) and let AP have the time as an extra (third or fourth I’ve lost count) week of vacation where she was home all week and we gave her the (limited) use of our car for free. After an entire week of her at home we returned and the dishwasher was not unloaded. Geez.

Just curious, at what age will your kids be emptying the dishwasher?

How is that relevant!? My kids were not at home all week; au pair was. Commenters on this page are nasty. Nannies?

Don’t bring nannies into this bc you have a less than ideal ap and you want a maid. The people judging you are other host families. Try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP. I’m Canadian and when I moved to the US I thought it was so weird parents didn’t do the bedtime routine, if they were home. It took me awhile to adjust to this because (in my mind) this was not normal. Maybe the AP doesn’t understand that in the US parents need a lot more help with these kinds of things. I mean, I had to move to the US to be a professional nanny because that really donest exist in Canada. Yes we have a caregiver program and people have nannies but it’s not like here.

We are a high income family and I don't know a single person who has someone else put their kids to bed. Not one.
Not at all a norm in America
You worked for a very unusual family.

No, actually, I know a lot of families who on occasion have others put their kids to bed. Out goes to bed between 4:30-6:00 (bad daytime napper). When she goes to bed earlier, AP puts her to bed, when she goes to bed on later and on weekends, we put her to bed. Stop parent-shaming.

Do you feel you are being shamed? If so, make some changes as that’s your choice. No one is shaming you by voicing their opinion.