Settling for good, not great, nanny

[Anonymous]

Totally agree with PP

[Anonymous]

It's OK to take baby to grocery store, it's called field trip, babies love watching other people/getting to see things. That is, if we are talking pre-Covid.
It is not OK though to keep baby in the stroller most of day and not let her have enough floor time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's OK to take baby to grocery store, it's called field trip, babies love watching other people/getting to see things. That is, if we are talking pre-Covid.
It is not OK though to keep baby in the stroller most of day and not let her have enough floor time.

There is no reason to take an infant to a grocery store. A toddler can start learning left/right and following at an appropriate distance with a child’s cart. They can help put things in their cart, learning colors, shapes, counting and phonics. They can learn how to talk to other people, who to approach, and when it’s appropriate. They can start learning about safety and who is a community helper. They need to memorize basic data to give a community helper in order to find their nanny/parent. All of that can come easily with a weekly grocery trip.

The benefit of multiple restaurant trips per week with infants and toddlers is to the nanny, not the child. At those ages, a child would benefit more from a picnic at a playground. By preschool, there is a small benefit for a child who eats at a restaurant once per week; they are now old enough to learn to ignore everyone else, talk to their adult while siting still for 30+ minutes, and to use the manners in public that they’ve practiced at home.

[Anonymous]

You know they are teaching early educators and those future providers for childcare daycares? To make every situation a learning experience, anywhere can be a great place to learn. You don't need fancy toys and visceversa.

And you ever been to a classroom? Poor teachers.
Every situation is a learning experience. Teach your kids to listen and respect things and people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's OK to take baby to grocery store, it's called field trip, babies love watching other people/getting to see things. That is, if we are talking pre-Covid.
It is not OK though to keep baby in the stroller most of day and not let her have enough floor time.

There is no reason to take an infant to a grocery store. A toddler can start learning left/right and following at an appropriate distance with a child’s cart. They can help put things in their cart, learning colors, shapes, counting and phonics. They can learn how to talk to other people, who to approach, and when it’s appropriate. They can start learning about safety and who is a community helper. They need to memorize basic data to give a community helper in order to find their nanny/parent. All of that can come easily with a weekly grocery trip.

The benefit of multiple restaurant trips per week with infants and toddlers is to the nanny, not the child. At those ages, a child would benefit more from a picnic at a playground. By preschool, there is a small benefit for a child who eats at a restaurant once per week; they are now old enough to learn to ignore everyone else, talk to their adult while siting still for 30+ minutes, and to use the manners in public that they’ve practiced at home.

Duh that's the point. Talking to the baby is a good learning experience for them, even tho they don't talk they are still learning and smart. If you don't play and start conversation they will develop delay learning. Talk to your kids, even tho they're babies or can't talk yet

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny will leave OP and I hope she does it quickly.
Most nannies takes the kids to many places, parks, mall, playdates, etc. Is nothing wrong to take the child to the store. Parents do it, it's like an adventure. Me and other nannies would set up a fun lunch group with us and the kids and they all know each other and have a great time together! Teach kids to learn to go in places, interact in different places and people. Well this was before the pandemic.

As long as your kids are happy, well fed, nanny tells if they are eating well or not, giving positive discipline, making connections, schedule, pretend play, conversation to kids, explain the whys even if they're toddlers then it's fine. Kids needs love, good care, positive discipline and put safety first always, then teach good manners and then education.

1. OP posted almost a year ago.

2. A parent has a right to set limits, including no restaurants and no doing errands for the nanny.

You can tell the thread is old because there is no mention of covid concerns. Taking a baby to Starbucks and the store every day would not be advisable now.

[Anonymous]

I want to subsume this thread, even in wake of COVID! One aspect is unclear to me though. It seems there is a lot of debate about what is and isn't acceptable - and how parents often engage in similar activities when watching their kids. But the different - and i am unclear why this isn't underscored more often - is that these are full time paid employees!

I am facing a similar issue and hope to find more clarity with more responses in this thread. I have an OK nanny within a two-baby nanny share. She is loving, nice, trustworthy with 15+ years of experience and certainly supervises the kids well. But at the same time she is sometimes on her phone and talking to friends when watching the kids. She sometimes takes a nap during the nap time and doesn't always hear one of the babies waking up to cry - or lets one baby wait for a while in the crib playing alone. She doesn't always engage the kids with activities or reading or singing, she lets the babies play but isn't actively playing with them, she doesn't go the extra mile to do their laundry etc.

All in all, like OP, she is OK - not amazing - but OK. Through the share the nanny is paid $25 per hour with 1 hour of overtime per day at $37.5. This is roughly $60,000 and i believe generously paid, with vacations / sick days included, etc.

I have seen alot of comments on this thread. But I want to push back on the idea about micromanaging.

Of course, a nanny should be able to have an hour of rest and eat lunch during nap time. But during the other paid hours, I DO expect complete attention. As a professional at my job I am expected to be fully "on" during my work hours, take on new tasks, adapt to management requests, etc. Jobs can be hard - this is why we get paid.

Since the nanny is a paid professional, i DO expect hours worked to be active (outside of atleast an hour of lunch). For instance, when kids are playing by themselves, try to develop new art projects or reading times, etc. Come prepared the next day with new activities or adventures. Don't force longer nap schedules just to have more rest times.

Again, this nanny has alot of good qualities. But for the price tag some of these elements bother me as well.

Should i settle for a good, not great nanny? Is this actually a great nanny (as others have made mention in the past)? Are my expectations to high? And if so, why? When we expect the same level of effort with teachers and daycare employees and other professional staff.

[Anonymous]

Why is it OK for nannies to engage in some behaviors outside of a lunch time when 'on the clock' like running personal errands or being on their phone or not actively engaging with the children? These activities are usually not tolerated when 'on-the-clock' in other professions and I understand paid time should always be either active or preparing to be active. Views welcome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to subsume this thread, even in wake of COVID! One aspect is unclear to me though. It seems there is a lot of debate about what is and isn't acceptable - and how parents often engage in similar activities when watching their kids. But the different - and i am unclear why this isn't underscored more often - is that these are full time paid employees!

I am facing a similar issue and hope to find more clarity with more responses in this thread. I have an OK nanny within a two-baby nanny share. She is loving, nice, trustworthy with 15+ years of experience and certainly supervises the kids well. But at the same time she is sometimes on her phone and talking to friends when watching the kids. She sometimes takes a nap during the nap time and doesn't always hear one of the babies waking up to cry - or lets one baby wait for a while in the crib playing alone. She doesn't always engage the kids with activities or reading or singing, she lets the babies play but isn't actively playing with them, she doesn't go the extra mile to do their laundry etc.

All in all, like OP, she is OK - not amazing - but OK. Through the share the nanny is paid $25 per hour with 1 hour of overtime per day at $37.5. This is roughly $60,000 and i believe generously paid, with vacations / sick days included, etc.

I have seen alot of comments on this thread. But I want to push back on the idea about micromanaging.

Of course, a nanny should be able to have an hour of rest and eat lunch during nap time. But during the other paid hours, I DO expect complete attention. As a professional at my job I am expected to be fully "on" during my work hours, take on new tasks, adapt to management requests, etc. Jobs can be hard - this is why we get paid.

Since the nanny is a paid professional, i DO expect hours worked to be active (outside of atleast an hour of lunch). For instance, when kids are playing by themselves, try to develop new art projects or reading times, etc. Come prepared the next day with new activities or adventures. Don't force longer nap schedules just to have more rest times.

Again, this nanny has alot of good qualities. But for the price tag some of these elements bother me as well.

Should i settle for a good, not great nanny? Is this actually a great nanny (as others have made mention in the past)? Are my expectations to high? And if so, why? When we expect the same level of effort with teachers and daycare employees and other professional staff.

You are in a nanny share paying $12.50/hr each to equal $25/hr with only one hour of overtime. You are absolutely getting what you are paying for. Your nanny doesn’t need to do ANY laundry at that rate. At that rate, you don’t need to complain about anything unless your nanny doesn’t show up. What you are paying for is a caring warm body. Anything she does beyond that needs to be appreciated.

If you wanted a nanny you could try to micromanage and control then you would need your own nanny at a much higher rate. Honestly, at a higher rate you would get candidates who wouldn’t need to be micromanaged and laundry would already be in the contract.

[Anonymous]

You are in a nanny share paying $12.50/hr each to equal $25/hr with only one hour of overtime. You are absolutely getting what you are paying for. Your nanny doesn’t need to do ANY laundry at that rate. At that rate, you don’t need to complain about anything unless your nanny doesn’t show up. What you are paying for is a caring warm body. Anything she does beyond that needs to be appreciated.

If you wanted a nanny you could try to micromanage and control then you would need your own nanny at a much higher rate. Honestly, at a higher rate you would get candidates who wouldn’t need to be micromanaged and laundry would already be in the contract.

So i think this is what i am asking about. Why is this the case? This nanny makes roughly $60,000 a year. A mid-level masters degree holder with 3-5 years of experience probably makes a similar amount. Teachers in most states certainly make less, as do daycare workers and other education professionals. So why is it the case with Nannies this topic is so off-limits? Take the children's laundry aside (obviously not adults), aside from an hour of lunch, shouldn't a nanny be actively engaged during all other paid hours either directly with the children or in preparation for the children? How much should a nanny be paid then for this quality care - a six figure salary? This is crazy. The nanny is just like any other professional - where the rules of management, optimizing hours worked, professionalism and feedback for improvement should apply. What am i missing? Why should i only complain if someone doesn't show up. I feel a salary around $60,000 a year is not by any means underpaid...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You are in a nanny share paying $12.50/hr each to equal $25/hr with only one hour of overtime. You are absolutely getting what you are paying for. Your nanny doesn’t need to do ANY laundry at that rate. At that rate, you don’t need to complain about anything unless your nanny doesn’t show up. What you are paying for is a caring warm body. Anything she does beyond that needs to be appreciated.

If you wanted a nanny you could try to micromanage and control then you would need your own nanny at a much higher rate. Honestly, at a higher rate you would get candidates who wouldn’t need to be micromanaged and laundry would already be in the contract.

So i think this is what i am asking about. Why is this the case? This nanny makes roughly $60,000 a year. A mid-level masters degree holder with 3-5 years of experience probably makes a similar amount. Teachers in most states certainly make less, as do daycare workers and other education professionals. So why is it the case with Nannies this topic is so off-limits? Take the children's laundry aside (obviously not adults), aside from an hour of lunch, shouldn't a nanny be actively engaged during all other paid hours either directly with the children or in preparation for the children? How much should a nanny be paid then for this quality care - a six figure salary? This is crazy. The nanny is just like any other professional - where the rules of management, optimizing hours worked, professionalism and feedback for improvement should apply. What am i missing? Why should i only complain if someone doesn't show up. I feel a salary around $60,000 a year is not by any means underpaid...

Bc YOU aren’t paying $60,000 a year. You are paying half that. You aren’t paying for a full nanny. You are paying for half a nanny but more like a babysitter. If you want the professional nanny then that’s what YOU pay for. Leave the nanny share and hire your own nanny with your own contract and requirements. You don’t get to pay for a Target fake leather handbag and demand it be CHANEL.

[Anonymous]

Bc YOU aren’t paying $60,000 a year. You are paying half that. You aren’t paying for a full nanny. You are paying for half a nanny but more like a babysitter. If you want the professional nanny then that’s what YOU pay for. Leave the nanny share and hire your own nanny with your own contract and requirements. You don’t get to pay for a Target fake leather handbag and demand it be CHANEL.

This logically makes no sense. Who cares if it’s one family, two families, one family with multiple kids or a third party paying the salary. Why would that change work ethic or the need to engage actively with children when on the clock? Salary is salary, and paid time should be active. I still don’t understand the issue with logic. But perhaps this is futile and clearly there are nanny trolls patrolling the site

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to subsume this thread, even in wake of COVID! One aspect is unclear to me though. It seems there is a lot of debate about what is and isn't acceptable - and how parents often engage in similar activities when watching their kids. But the different - and i am unclear why this isn't underscored more often - is that these are full time paid employees!

I am facing a similar issue and hope to find more clarity with more responses in this thread. I have an OK nanny within a two-baby nanny share. She is loving, nice, trustworthy with 15+ years of experience and certainly supervises the kids well. But at the same time she is sometimes on her phone and talking to friends when watching the kids. She sometimes takes a nap during the nap time and doesn't always hear one of the babies waking up to cry - or lets one baby wait for a while in the crib playing alone. She doesn't always engage the kids with activities or reading or singing, she lets the babies play but isn't actively playing with them, she doesn't go the extra mile to do their laundry etc.

All in all, like OP, she is OK - not amazing - but OK. Through the share the nanny is paid $25 per hour with 1 hour of overtime per day at $37.5. This is roughly $60,000 and i believe generously paid, with vacations / sick days included, etc.

I have seen alot of comments on this thread. But I want to push back on the idea about micromanaging.

Of course, a nanny should be able to have an hour of rest and eat lunch during nap time. But during the other paid hours, I DO expect complete attention. As a professional at my job I am expected to be fully "on" during my work hours, take on new tasks, adapt to management requests, etc. Jobs can be hard - this is why we get paid.

Since the nanny is a paid professional, i DO expect hours worked to be active (outside of atleast an hour of lunch). For instance, when kids are playing by themselves, try to develop new art projects or reading times, etc. Come prepared the next day with new activities or adventures. Don't force longer nap schedules just to have more rest times.

Again, this nanny has alot of good qualities. But for the price tag some of these elements bother me as well.

Should i settle for a good, not great nanny? Is this actually a great nanny (as others have made mention in the past)? Are my expectations to high? And if so, why? When we expect the same level of effort with teachers and daycare employees and other professional staff.

Professional is a subjective term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Bc YOU aren’t paying $60,000 a year. You are paying half that. You aren’t paying for a full nanny. You are paying for half a nanny but more like a babysitter. If you want the professional nanny then that’s what YOU pay for. Leave the nanny share and hire your own nanny with your own contract and requirements. You don’t get to pay for a Target fake leather handbag and demand it be CHANEL.

This logically makes no sense. Who cares if it’s one family, two families, one family with multiple kids or a third party paying the salary. Why would that change work ethic or the need to engage actively with children when on the clock? Salary is salary, and paid time should be active. I still don’t understand the issue with logic. But perhaps this is futile and clearly there are nanny trolls patrolling the site

You’re right bc you’ve been trolling. Reviving an old thread to troll is pathetic. Acting like you paying $60k when in reality you aren’t is laughable. Nanny shares are for people on a budget. You pay less and therefore get less. You want more, pay more.