Settling for good, not great, nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're probably a good mother, not a great one.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you’re upset that the nanny takes the baby out and gets a coffee. You’re upset that she doesn’t bring her lunch everyday and instead gets lunch from the store. You’re upset bc she arrives at 8am on the dot (I’ll give you that she shouldn’t be late, although it averages out to about 2.5 times a month and it’s 5 mins late which wouldn’t upset me unless it was every week.) She doesn’t need to walk in the door 5-10 mins early unless you are paying her for that time. 5-10 mins early is about 25-50 mins of time your nanny was giving you for free. Let me ask you this, do you give your nanny a 30 min uninterrupted lunch break and two 15min breaks if she is working 30-40 hrs a week? Did you pay your nanny for the extra 10 mins she arrived early?

Actually, as a nanny, I think OP has a reason to be unhappy. No nanny should make her personal daily errands part of her job and being on time matters. And yes, she should be able to play and engage the children.

And no nanny can expect an uninterrupted rest period every day - it’s just not that kind of job. When you’re alone with a sick baby, you don’t demand your uninterrupted lunch break.

Did you even read what you are replying too? Or even the original post? You can think OP has a reason to be unhappy. You can also think the sky is purple. So unless OP is following the law, then I don’t see the problem. The nanny’s “personal errand” is getting coffee and lunch. If OP has such an issue with that then she might need to stay home. Her nanny is entitled to eat and a break. No child needs to have attention on them every second of the day. If I ever had a family like OP I would quit on the spot. Luckily I’ve worked for normal and sane people. I don’t know where you martyr nannies come from bc I definitely haven’t met you in real life.

Wow wow wow
You are some disturbing self entitled person
Yes, nannies have to eat, but doesn’t mean nanny has to go to the store every day for lunch
Or buy herself coffee at Starbucks
I feel bad for the families you work for, I hope you’re at least a decent human being for their kids because are very self entitled to make a comment like that
You’re being paid to do a job, and the job is to play and watch the kids
A baby needs to be on the floor or the muscles will not become strong at the right age, I saw it with two jobs I worked for
The babies couldn’t even move their necks at 6 months old, after a while with me
On the floor they were able to move around

[Anonymous]

Some people houses are just nasty. I've worked in homes with pets in the past/currently and everyone was ok with fur EVERYWHERE on EVERYTHING and picking fur out of their food. I find it gross disgusting and eat my lunch everyday outside of the house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you’re upset that the nanny takes the baby out and gets a coffee. You’re upset that she doesn’t bring her lunch everyday and instead gets lunch from the store. You’re upset bc she arrives at 8am on the dot (I’ll give you that she shouldn’t be late, although it averages out to about 2.5 times a month and it’s 5 mins late which wouldn’t upset me unless it was every week.) She doesn’t need to walk in the door 5-10 mins early unless you are paying her for that time. 5-10 mins early is about 25-50 mins of time your nanny was giving you for free. Let me ask you this, do you give your nanny a 30 min uninterrupted lunch break and two 15min breaks if she is working 30-40 hrs a week? Did you pay your nanny for the extra 10 mins she arrived early?

Actually, as a nanny, I think OP has a reason to be unhappy. No nanny should make her personal daily errands part of her job and being on time matters. And yes, she should be able to play and engage the children.

And no nanny can expect an uninterrupted rest period every day - it’s just not that kind of job. When you’re alone with a sick baby, you don’t demand your uninterrupted lunch break.

Did you even read what you are replying too? Or even the original post? You can think OP has a reason to be unhappy. You can also think the sky is purple. So unless OP is following the law, then I don’t see the problem. The nanny’s “personal errand” is getting coffee and lunch. If OP has such an issue with that then she might need to stay home. Her nanny is entitled to eat and a break. No child needs to have attention on them every second of the day. If I ever had a family like OP I would quit on the spot. Luckily I’ve worked for normal and sane people. I don’t know where you martyr nannies come from bc I definitely haven’t met you in real life.

Wow wow wow
You are some disturbing self entitled person
Yes, nannies have to eat, but doesn’t mean nanny has to go to the store every day for lunch
Or buy herself coffee at Starbucks
I feel bad for the families you work for, I hope you’re at least a decent human being for their kids because are very self entitled to make a comment like that
You’re being paid to do a job, and the job is to play and watch the kids
A baby needs to be on the floor or the muscles will not become strong at the right age, I saw it with two jobs I worked for
The babies couldn’t even move their necks at 6 months old, after a while with me
On the floor they were able to move around

Well this is a mess from start to end. You’re the nanny that takes the jobs I pass on bc the families are either too delusional or pay too low. You want to be a work horse be my guest. You want to be a martyr, do you. Families who want you to never leave the house, want you to bring your lunch, question what you are doing every second of the day, have cameras in every room of the house, expect you to never take a break even when the baby is napping, expect you to be 10 mins early; all while nickeling and dimming you and paying $18/hr, sound perfect for you. Thank goodness I cannot relate. My families have been awesome. Once you reach a certain level and have respect for yourself you’ll see the difference between the families you work for and the truly amazing families who respect you as not only a nanny but, as a person.

Obviously babies need tummy time to develop motor skills but at 6 mos they should be sitting up anyway so that’s a whole different issue. Spending 15-20 mins at a coffee shop during a 8-10 hr day isn’t hurting a baby. Walking to a grocery store while getting fresh air isn’t hurting a baby. You want to be stuck inside your employer’s house while being micromanaged go right ahead. I’ll be at the zoo, library, museums, music classes and Starbucks sipping a coffee in between activities.

[Anonymous]

Your nanny sounds like a babysitter. How old is she? Any college or child development courses? Is this her first full-time job?

[Anonymous]

Live you job and do it everything “great’”. I think that you need Terapy, you are crazy. Hopefully nobody works to your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Live you job and do it everything “great’”. I think that you need Terapy, you are crazy. Hopefully nobody works to your family.

Wow! You have to work on your English, PP!

[Anonymous]

I can settle for okay for things regarding DH or me - but not my children.

I would start looking for a better nanny, OP. Your baby should be engaged and stimulated by more than a trip to Starbucks. And if a nanny doesn’t play, I would find a nanny who does.

However, in full disclosure: we pay our nanny $30 an hour plus full healthcare coverage and use of a car. I only interviewed older nannies (40 to 60) with teaching experience and at least a bachelors degree.

[Anonymous]

Yikes!!
I myself am a Nanny & I frequently arrive five minutes late.

I feel as long as I don’t go over five minutes, then all is good.
I mean if my family walked in the door five minutes late - it wouldn’t be a huge difference to me.

Getting coffee + food is acceptable.
If she is full-time, perhaps she doesn’t have much free time to buy food so I would try to be as helpful as I could.
Nannying is hard work.

I think your Nanny should get on the floor w/the baby.
Floor time is important & fun for both of them.
It may also help them w/bonding as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can settle for okay for things regarding DH or me - but not my children.

I would start looking for a better nanny, OP. Your baby should be engaged and stimulated by more than a trip to Starbucks. And if a nanny doesn’t play, I would find a nanny who does.

However, in full disclosure: we pay our nanny $30 an hour plus full healthcare coverage and use of a car. I only interviewed older nannies (40 to 60) with teaching experience and at least a bachelors degree.

Given that she is in Starbucks for maybe 10 mins a day, in a 10 hour day(?) at a guess. There are plenty of hours left to do other things. Its not Starbucks or nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can settle for okay for things regarding DH or me - but not my children.

I would start looking for a better nanny, OP. Your baby should be engaged and stimulated by more than a trip to Starbucks. And if a nanny doesn’t play, I would find a nanny who does.

However, in full disclosure: we pay our nanny $30 an hour plus full healthcare coverage and use of a car. I only interviewed older nannies (40 to 60) with teaching experience and at least a bachelors degree.

Oh, bull! I was a stay at home mom forten years and, believe me, I did not watch my children every minute nor did I engage the in activities every moment. They learned to play by themselves and made up their own games. I must have done something right as all three graduated from first tier colleges and all three also had academic scholarships.

Babies, toddlers, older children do not need to be engaged every moment!

[Anonymous]

Pick the one thing that frustrates you most now and address that.

Getting a coffee on a walk would be low on my irritation list.

She indicates they are too busy to play with toys, maybe inquire more about what activities they are doing.

Do you arrive home 5-10 minutes before the end of her shift? Are you ever late?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, Op, but I didn't see anything worrisome. Address the playing and maybe reading, drop the Starbucks. Kids are happy to be out and about almost anywhere.
It's ok to let her go also since she might be a better fit in another family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can settle for okay for things regarding DH or me - but not my children.

I would start looking for a better nanny, OP. Your baby should be engaged and stimulated by more than a trip to Starbucks. And if a nanny doesn’t play, I would find a nanny who does.

However, in full disclosure: we pay our nanny $30 an hour plus full healthcare coverage and use of a car. I only interviewed older nannies (40 to 60) with teaching experience and at least a bachelors degree.

Oh, bull! I was a stay at home mom forten years and, believe me, I did not watch my children every minute nor did I engage the in activities every moment. They learned to play by themselves and made up their own games. I must have done something right as all three graduated from first tier colleges and all three also had academic scholarships.

Babies, toddlers, older children do not need to be engaged every moment!

I’m a $30/hr nanny and I don’t engage the kids all the time. The kids will tell you, I’m not a clown. Go and play on your own, is what I often say. Because of this, the kids in my care (10+ years now) are super independent, excellent student, read books non stop, write their own music and songs, and don’t need me to make them a sandwich or fold their laundry. They’re straight A students and can think for themselves. Of course I spent a lot of time engaging them, but they also spent a lot of time as little kids just being kids and playing on their own. Helicopter raised kids don’t know how to think for themselves and you are doing them a disservice with constant entertainment. I didn’t ever take them to Starbucks or on personal errands, but I’ve spent a lot of time just laying on the couch while we all read our own books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can settle for okay for things regarding DH or me - but not my children.

I would start looking for a better nanny, OP. Your baby should be engaged and stimulated by more than a trip to Starbucks. And if a nanny doesn’t play, I would find a nanny who does.

However, in full disclosure: we pay our nanny $30 an hour plus full healthcare coverage and use of a car. I only interviewed older nannies (40 to 60) with teaching experience and at least a bachelors degree.

Oh, bull! I was a stay at home mom forten years and, believe me, I did not watch my children every minute nor did I engage the in activities every moment. They learned to play by themselves and made up their own games. I must have done something right as all three graduated from first tier colleges and all three also had academic scholarships.

Babies, toddlers, older children do not need to be engaged every moment!

I’m a $30/hr nanny and I don’t engage the kids all the time. The kids will tell you, I’m not a clown. Go and play on your own, is what I often say. Because of this, the kids in my care (10+ years now) are super independent, excellent student, read books non stop, write their own music and songs, and don’t need me to make them a sandwich or fold their laundry. They’re straight A students and can think for themselves. Of course I spent a lot of time engaging them, but they also spent a lot of time as little kids just being kids and playing on their own. Helicopter raised kids don’t know how to think for themselves and you are doing them a disservice with constant entertainment. I didn’t ever take them to Starbucks or on personal errands, but I’ve spent a lot of time just laying on the couch while we all read our own books.

But do you think if you had taken them to Starbucks as babies they would not be A students?