Settling for good, not great, nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can settle for okay for things regarding DH or me - but not my children.

I would start looking for a better nanny, OP. Your baby should be engaged and stimulated by more than a trip to Starbucks. And if a nanny doesn’t play, I would find a nanny who does.

However, in full disclosure: we pay our nanny $30 an hour plus full healthcare coverage and use of a car. I only interviewed older nannies (40 to 60) with teaching experience and at least a bachelors degree.

Oh, bull! I was a stay at home mom forten years and, believe me, I did not watch my children every minute nor did I engage the in activities every moment. They learned to play by themselves and made up their own games. I must have done something right as all three graduated from first tier colleges and all three also had academic scholarships.

Babies, toddlers, older children do not need to be engaged every moment!

First, a nanny is not a substitute mother nor should she ever be compared to a SAHM.

Second, you cannot prove a negative. You have no clue how much better off your children would have been had you engaged your babies more.

Third, the Ivies and top tier colleges don’t give academic scholarships. It’s all merit based.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can settle for okay for things regarding DH or me - but not my children.

I would start looking for a better nanny, OP. Your baby should be engaged and stimulated by more than a trip to Starbucks. And if a nanny doesn’t play, I would find a nanny who does.

However, in full disclosure: we pay our nanny $30 an hour plus full healthcare coverage and use of a car. I only interviewed older nannies (40 to 60) with teaching experience and at least a bachelors degree.

Oh, bull! I was a stay at home mom forten years and, believe me, I did not watch my children every minute nor did I engage the in activities every moment. They learned to play by themselves and made up their own games. I must have done something right as all three graduated from first tier colleges and all three also had academic scholarships.

Babies, toddlers, older children do not need to be engaged every moment!

First, a nanny is not a substitute mother nor should she ever be compared to a SAHM.

Second, you cannot prove a negative. You have no clue how much better off your children would have been had you engaged your babies more.

Third, the Ivies and top tier colleges don’t give academic scholarships. It’s all merit based.

+1. Good nannies do very different things than housewives do. We should be more engaged. I say this as a nanny.

[Anonymous]

The nannies on this forum are making me sick . No it’s not acceptable to go get Starbucks and get your groceries while being paid to watch a baby .

Lay on the couch while everyone reads their own books !?

These women with barely any education are getting paid over $20/hr to watch your kid they better spend the 8 hours a day engaging your child.

It’s not about being a work horse it’s about being ethical in your work .

No wonder why every parent pawns their nanny off when their child is two - time for Montessori , all of you are replaceable so just know that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The nannies on this forum are making me sick . No it’s not acceptable to go get Starbucks and get your groceries while being paid to watch a baby .

Lay on the couch while everyone reads their own books !?

These women with barely any education are getting paid over $20/hr to watch your kid they better spend the 8 hours a day engaging your child.

It’s not about being a work horse it’s about being ethical in your work .

No wonder why every parent pawns their nanny off when their child is two - time for Montessori , all of you are replaceable so just know that

You know all nannies are not like what you described. And you can read the nannies on this thread who agree with the OP.

You need to calm down, PP, and stop your inane attacks on all nannies. You are just embarrassing yourself. Learn to state your opinion without childish attacks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The nannies on this forum are making me sick . No it’s not acceptable to go get Starbucks and get your groceries while being paid to watch a baby .

Lay on the couch while everyone reads their own books !?

These women with barely any education are getting paid over $20/hr to watch your kid they better spend the 8 hours a day engaging your child.

It’s not about being a work horse it’s about being ethical in your work .

No wonder why every parent pawns their nanny off when their child is two - time for Montessori , all of you are replaceable so just know that

I find this post hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nannies on this forum are making me sick . No it’s not acceptable to go get Starbucks and get your groceries while being paid to watch a baby .

Lay on the couch while everyone reads their own books !?

These women with barely any education are getting paid over $20/hr to watch your kid they better spend the 8 hours a day engaging your child.

It’s not about being a work horse it’s about being ethical in your work .

No wonder why every parent pawns their nanny off when their child is two - time for Montessori , all of you are replaceable so just know that

You know all nannies are not like what you described. And you can read the nannies on this thread who agree with the OP.

You need to calm down, PP, and stop your inane attacks on all nannies. You are just embarrassing yourself. Learn to state your opinion without childish attacks.

+1. Today I was in the library playroom with four other nannies and our crawling charges. All of us were on the floor playing with all the kids. No one on their phone except to take some adorable pictures.

We are the women who love and care for your children as you have decided not to be around. Some of you mothers make me sick.

[Anonymous]

Well aren’t you so amazing so you want a cookie ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nannies on this forum are making me sick . No it’s not acceptable to go get Starbucks and get your groceries while being paid to watch a baby .

Lay on the couch while everyone reads their own books !?

These women with barely any education are getting paid over $20/hr to watch your kid they better spend the 8 hours a day engaging your child.

It’s not about being a work horse it’s about being ethical in your work .

No wonder why every parent pawns their nanny off when their child is two - time for Montessori , all of you are replaceable so just know that

You know all nannies are not like what you described. And you can read the nannies on this thread who agree with the OP.

You need to calm down, PP, and stop your inane attacks on all nannies. You are just embarrassing yourself. Learn to state your opinion without childish attacks.

+1. Today I was in the library playroom with four other nannies and our crawling charges. All of us were on the floor playing with all the kids. No one on their phone except to take some adorable pictures.

We are the women who love and care for your children as you have decided not to be around. Some of you mothers make me sick.

Sorry - "decided not to be around"???? It's called having a job and working so you can give your child a better life, or in some cases, have enough money to put food on the table or pay for college. Last I checked there are many nannies with young kids who are working to take care of someone else's kids - mine included! So what do you have to say about them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nannies on this forum are making me sick . No it’s not acceptable to go get Starbucks and get your groceries while being paid to watch a baby .

Lay on the couch while everyone reads their own books !?

These women with barely any education are getting paid over $20/hr to watch your kid they better spend the 8 hours a day engaging your child.

It’s not about being a work horse it’s about being ethical in your work .

No wonder why every parent pawns their nanny off when their child is two - time for Montessori , all of you are replaceable so just know that

You know all nannies are not like what you described. And you can read the nannies on this thread who agree with the OP.

You need to calm down, PP, and stop your inane attacks on all nannies. You are just embarrassing yourself. Learn to state your opinion without childish attacks.

+1. Today I was in the library playroom with four other nannies and our crawling charges. All of us were on the floor playing with all the kids. No one on their phone except to take some adorable pictures.

We are the women who love and care for your children as you have decided not to be around. Some of you mothers make me sick.

Sorry - "decided not to be around"???? It's called having a job and working so you can give your child a better life, or in some cases, have enough money to put food on the table or pay for college. Last I checked there are many nannies with young kids who are working to take care of someone else's kids - mine included! So what do you have to say about them?

It is still your decision to hire a nanny. Respect her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well aren’t you so amazing so you want a cookie ?

Hi, Troll! Speaking of cookies, have you lost any weight? Being so overweight is so bad for your health.

Take care and see you next time anyone posts anything kind.

[Anonymous]

Fire her! It will only get worse. Find someone that has experience with infants. It is not like you are underpaying her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The nannies on this forum are making me sick . No it’s not acceptable to go get Starbucks and get your groceries while being paid to watch a baby .

Lay on the couch while everyone reads their own books !?

These women with barely any education are getting paid over $20/hr to watch your kid they better spend the 8 hours a day engaging your child.

It’s not about being a work horse it’s about being ethical in your work .

No wonder why every parent pawns their nanny off when their child is two - time for Montessori , all of you are replaceable so just know that

Stop talking about being ethical in work when you are posting on company time, checking on nanny on company time and all the other non woyk related things you do on company time.

[Anonymous]

As a fulltime nanny, I am shocked at the level of nitpicking the OP has done against her nanny. As to the playing with dolls concern, I wouldn’t want to do that with another adult in the room! I can get silly and play with dolls or whatever toy NKs wanna play with, but if MB or DB was in the room, I’d totally suggest playing with something else and revisit the dolls when I didn’t have an adult as witness. That being said, all of my doll playtime has happened in front of nanny cams (footage stored for six months). My last NF has lots of footage of me being awfully silly with Disney Princess dolls.

I’m 5 minutes late to work occasionally, and I don’t arrive 5-10 minutes early every day. I wait in my car and go in at most 2 minutes early.. Most parents wouldn’t want a nanny to arrive early every day. They like for you to arrive on time because they’re sometimes still getting ready. It’s awkward coming in to find MB showering and DB putting on a shirt. And quite often the parents are 5 minutes to an hour late getting back. I don’t mind them being late, because they’re human and it happens! It doesn’t happen every night (which it did literally every night with my last NF).

As to the “errands” with the baby, come on! You should be happy that she’s taking your child for walks. Her stopping for coffee or food at the grocery store is still an outing. Kids love getting out of the house, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her tying outings into getting something for herself. Wouldn’t you rather have a nanny who’s in a good mood because she’s gotten a coffee and some food while taking your baby for a walk? If a MB came to me with this many “issues” with my performance, I’d immediately start looking for another position. Life is too short to work under someone who micromanages you!

[Anonymous]

Nanny will leave OP and I hope she does it quickly.
Most nannies takes the kids to many places, parks, mall, playdates, etc. Is nothing wrong to take the child to the store. Parents do it, it's like an adventure. Me and other nannies would set up a fun lunch group with us and the kids and they all know each other and have a great time together! Teach kids to learn to go in places, interact in different places and people. Well this was before the pandemic.

As long as your kids are happy, well fed, nanny tells if they are eating well or not, giving positive discipline, making connections, schedule, pretend play, conversation to kids, explain the whys even if they're toddlers then it's fine. Kids needs love, good care, positive discipline and put safety first always, then teach good manners and then education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny will leave OP and I hope she does it quickly.
Most nannies takes the kids to many places, parks, mall, playdates, etc. Is nothing wrong to take the child to the store. Parents do it, it's like an adventure. Me and other nannies would set up a fun lunch group with us and the kids and they all know each other and have a great time together! Teach kids to learn to go in places, interact in different places and people. Well this was before the pandemic.

As long as your kids are happy, well fed, nanny tells if they are eating well or not, giving positive discipline, making connections, schedule, pretend play, conversation to kids, explain the whys even if they're toddlers then it's fine. Kids needs love, good care, positive discipline and put safety first always, then teach good manners and then education.

1. OP posted almost a year ago.

2. A parent has a right to set limits, including no restaurants and no doing errands for the nanny.