Help me be fair to our nanny without causing DH to flip over $

[Anonymous]

Omg you are a great wonderful kind lady !! She wouldn't. Ask you a raise !! Since the other kids are already toddlers , they will
Go to school , she must to apreciatted her job !! And work happy with all
Your kindness !! Vacation , raise twice already so Iam
A nanny I wish I could find a family like yours !! Good luck !!

[Anonymous]

Op is about to lose a great nanny and then she will see what she gets for > $20/hr for 3 kids. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Part of the problem here is that DH doesn't think being a nanny really is that hard. I don't know if anyone can relate to this issue with their DHs. I don't think being a nanny is backbreaking labor, but I still distinctly remember how hectic just two kids in the evening was for me when DH was working late, older child was a volatile 3, and younger child was a baby. And, they're my kids, so if I ignore crying or lose my cool from time to time, that's not ideal but whatever. I'm sure my nanny, who is a cooler cucumber than me anyway, feels differently because it is her job.

ooh, I think it's time for Dad to have a long weekend by himself with the kids. you go on a girls trip, and no nanny or grandparents that weekend.
that usually what it takes to help increase his appreciation and understanding. I do this every so often, and it's amazing how appreciative DH is of small things after that.

NP here, but I can't imagine my DH being anything but pissed if I went on a girls trip for the weekend and left him alone with all of the kids and no childcare. Does this really work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Part of the problem here is that DH doesn't think being a nanny really is that hard. I don't know if anyone can relate to this issue with their DHs. I don't think being a nanny is backbreaking labor, but I still distinctly remember how hectic just two kids in the evening was for me when DH was working late, older child was a volatile 3, and younger child was a baby. And, they're my kids, so if I ignore crying or lose my cool from time to time, that's not ideal but whatever. I'm sure my nanny, who is a cooler cucumber than me anyway, feels differently because it is her job.

ooh, I think it's time for Dad to have a long weekend by himself with the kids. you go on a girls trip, and no nanny or grandparents that weekend.
that usually what it takes to help increase his appreciation and understanding. I do this every so often, and it's amazing how appreciative DH is of small things after that.

NP here, but I can't imagine my DH being anything but pissed if I went on a girls trip for the weekend and left him alone with all of the kids and no childcare. Does this really work?

um, yes, it's called being a parent. Every mother is capable of caring for their children solo. Why isn't your husband? Is he incapacitated?

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and I would be fine with the raise. I have worked for the same family for similar hours and benefits for less pay. The genuine kindness and respect from my nanny family is what keeps me.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and I would be fine with the raise. I have worked for the same family for similar hours and benefits for less pay. The genuine kindness and respect from my nanny family is what keeps me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It took me a bit, but I did the math.
Your nanny works 10.25 hours every day, which is 71.75 hours per week.

You're paying her a base rate of $12.50, and an OT rate of $18.75

I think you're drastically underpaying your nanny for even one child, much less three. Those seem like incredibly long hours.

I'd NEVER accept any job for 12.50/hr. That's ridiculous. Your husband is sick.

[Anonymous]

PP, please read full thread... Nanny gets a bit more than $19 per hour.

OP: as a mom with 3 kids, I understand your complexity, and total expense for childcare...

Anyway, some strategies that worked for us:

1. Can you rearrange your schedules to release nanny at 5:30 pm instead of 6:15? That's what we were able to do, DH hoes to work early, I take mornings, he gets home by 5:30. That will cut down 3:45 of overtime.

2. Tax calculation. IRS Household Employer guide specifically states that employer can decide to pay nanny's share of FICA taxes. For nanny to get the same take home pay, your tax obligation is then bit lower. At $1000+ per week it adds up. Do the calculation. It's in that guide.

3. Talk to your nanny and see what she cares about. When we got to the third one (with older full time in preschool or K), we added $50/week total. We also never computed $/hr, had set hours and $/week guaranteed pay. She was very happy, and she actually liked being with newborn.

4. We also proactively tried to ensure that grandma is available on all the "teacher days off" to take 1-2 kids away. Or come and help when one kid is sick. I think that really helped.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op is about to lose a great nanny and then she will see what she gets for > $20/hr for 3 kids. Wow.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I think you're conflating some issues here OP, which is understandable but short-sighted.

You have a nanny you like and trust, whom you want to retain. You offer a decent compensation package, especially when the additional vacation time and regular early departures are factored in. Her workload is steadily increasing in terms of complexity - so the skills she needs now (3 kids at various ages and differing schedules) are changing. If she can keep up with all of that (and wants to) then that further increases her value.

Going through nanny transitions with my kids has taught me to seriously weigh the value of continuity, family knowledge, stability for the kids, trust/reliability and my stress level very highly. All of those easily translate to an extra $50-75 per week.

So my advice is to be generous with your nanny and give at least a $1/hr increase. Also talk with her about other ways you can show your appreciation. Perhaps formalize that one shorter day a week, or add some health insurance benefit (that can be a real cash value without the added costs of taxes), give her a few more guaranteed vacation days (all of xmas week in addition to the two weeks for instance) etc... And ask her what would mean the most to her (in addition to some sort of raise.)

Then deal w/ your husband's concerns separately. Frame that in terms of "happy wife/happy life", stress free household is worth its weight in gold, the cost of finding/hiring/training a new nanny certainly being more than a few hundred dollars, etc... Don't make your nanny pay the price for what you have to negotiate w/ your husband.

If you have money, use it. Throw money at the situation to make your nanny happy and make all of your lives easier. It's money well spent and nickel and diming will hurt you in the long run.

If you had an unexpected car expense of 2k you would pay it, right? So put this total expense into that kind of perspective.

Good luck!

Great thoughtful advice!

[Anonymous]

OP, if you truly want to be fair, you wouldn't be asking. You already know what is fair. You are as big a jerk as your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I appreciate the sentiment of $25/hour in a vacuum, but we pay for 52 hours per week. That would be $1450/week or $75k per year, plus taxes and preschool on top of that. I just think that's too much.

Not for 3 kids

[Anonymous]

Hi. Your pay now is fairly generous for two kids with one in school most of the day. How about bumping up to $20 an hour for three -- since the time before the preschooler is In school will be kind of hard. You don't neee to keep giving yearly raises after that.

[Anonymous]

are you saying you pay your nanny $1059 after tax that is a goog pay i am a nanny and i take care of 3kid and every two week i take nome $1,12243 nevery get rase how about that

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the posters who say 57K per year is very little and the dad boss is cheap. It's not that little, seriously.