Sharing vehicles

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Their advice is to set the maximum restriction on the use of the car and then let her find it is actually available more than anticipated, so I will continue to digest all of the reasonable responses I've received and come up with something for the handbook.

I am the PP of "ask 10 get 10 answers" again.

It is always recommended to start with most restrictive and loosen as the year goes by, if and when AP demonstrates good performance and attitude. This goes for everything you need to work out with the AP.
Since you started out as NO car access during those hours and she said okay to that, I see any "extra" car access as a bonus and I would hope that your AP will see it as a bonus too and appreciate your offer.

Not sure if you need to "offer" the extra access unilaterally right now in the handbook (she has not asked for more - right?). If no access was what was agreed upon during the interview, then the handbook she gets should be consistent to avoid confusion and planting the seed in her mind that car and other rules are not "firm" rules.

Maybe first wait until she gets to your home and start to settle in and figure out exactly what she is interested in doing during those day hours. Once she gets here, you can frame it as you have a LITTLE flexibility during the day hours so it may be possible (no guarantees) for her to do something requiring a car during these hours. This gives her the green light to consider a wider set of possible activities during LIMITED day hours, but knowing that you need to be okay with it first and your work always comes first before her personal trips.

If she decides to do something that requires a car, then you can offer to be more flexible and work with her to make it happen. Hopefully, she will perceive your offer as generous and understanding and further nurture the beginnings of this relationship.

[Anonymous]

I'm a live-in nanny, so please take it from that perspective. I'm not an AP, nor a HP, and I have no bias one way or the other.

What are your plans for the AP and kids when kids aren't in school? If you expect them to stay home everyday, you will end up in rematch.

My experience has been that parents who prioritize having kids able to get out of the house are easy to like. Rather than worrying about non-work hours, I would suggest first figuring out the work hours, because it may turn out that the solution will also solve the non-work hours vehicle use.