Nanny doesn't want to eat lunch with DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I do my intermittent fasting days I drink water and/or nibble on carrot sticks while my children eat (I am an MB). They don't seem to notice the difference.

That's nice but it is also your choice, just as it is OP's nanny's choice to drink her protein shake once her charge is napping. I am sure you have a designated break at work to eat your lunch, but in no way would your boss dictate what you must consume, nor with whom.
Most people who work full time enjoy eating their lunch in peace, why should this situation be any different?

OP has two opportunities a day to spend with her child creating "family meal time", and she needs to work within those confines. Is she going to ask her kid's teacher to eat with him once he is in school? Will all guests consuming food in the home be required to do so at the family table together? Just how much do her child's eating issues get to dictate daily life?

Actually, in many jobs there are team lunches, client lunches, etc, which means it is dictated when, with whom, and to some extent what (if you go to a certain restaurant) you eat! Another example of nannies thinking there job is in some super-special category without the requirements many working people face.

Actually, no. I worked in an office, and I made sure that I ate before "team lunches" so that my gastro-intestinal issues wouldn't be set off by restaurant cooking. My boss had no issue with it, and I didn't eat with the rest, but had to sit there.

Right, but you still had to participate in the team aspect, make meals a social occasion, just like OPs nanny needs to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prefer to eat by myself for 2 reasons.
1. Lunch is usually the only time I have to relax. I don't want to rush through lunch just to make sure I'm actually able to eat. Between cleaning up spills and making sure your child eats-my lunch can get interrupted.
2. I portion, measure and track everything I eat.
I don't want to share my lunch with your kid. Kids always ask for food that isn't theirs.
Don't make this an issue. Really. Don't.

Sounds good Op. We hear you loud and clear.
Eat when ever you want but also devise some plans to get your charge to eat better. You are with him 40-50 hours a week, do your job. mB and he doctor suggested eating together would foster food eating habits, tell them to shove that idea up their @ss and come up with a better one.

Exactly. This poster probably wants to be considered a nanny "professional" but also wants to put her own needa before her charges development. And apparently thinks he take on things is more valid than what the therapist said.

[Anonymous]

Why are these people hired? Please someone explain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prefer to eat by myself for 2 reasons.
1. Lunch is usually the only time I have to relax. I don't want to rush through lunch just to make sure I'm actually able to eat. Between cleaning up spills and making sure your child eats-my lunch can get interrupted.
2. I portion, measure and track everything I eat.
I don't want to share my lunch with your kid. Kids always ask for food that isn't theirs.
Don't make this an issue. Really. Don't.

Sounds good Op. We hear you loud and clear.
Eat when ever you want but also devise some plans to get your charge to eat better. You are with him 40-50 hours a week, do your job. mB and he doctor suggested eating together would foster food eating habits, tell them to shove that idea up their @ss and come up with a better one.

Exactly. This poster probably wants to be considered a nanny "professional" but also wants to put her own needa before her charges development. And apparently thinks he take on things is more valid than what the therapist said.

Where is it said that OP's nanny isn't making lunch time social time? I'm not a nanny but I cannot imagine demanding that my nanny either eat what the little one eats, or eat something the little one is able to eat. You don't get to dictate what nanny eats.

There needs to be another solution, whether it's a plate of vegetables or whatever. OR just sitting with the child encouraging them to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prefer to eat by myself for 2 reasons.
1. Lunch is usually the only time I have to relax. I don't want to rush through lunch just to make sure I'm actually able to eat. Between cleaning up spills and making sure your child eats-my lunch can get interrupted.
2. I portion, measure and track everything I eat.
I don't want to share my lunch with your kid. Kids always ask for food that isn't theirs.
Don't make this an issue. Really. Don't.

Sounds good Op. We hear you loud and clear.
Eat when ever you want but also devise some plans to get your charge to eat better. You are with him 40-50 hours a week, do your job. mB and he doctor suggested eating together would foster food eating habits, tell them to shove that idea up their @ss and come up with a better one.

Exactly. This poster probably wants to be considered a nanny "professional" but also wants to put her own needa before her charges development. And apparently thinks he take on things is more valid than what the therapist said.

I'm the nanny you're quoting. Don't. I will happily sit withy charge while he eats. Not wanting to eat when he eats does not make me unprofessional. My body doesn't even require lunch until 2:30 in the afternoon. Should I shovel food into my mouth when I'm not hungry just to appease a control freak mother who needs to learn when to back off? I also teach my charges sign-language and proper table manners when we sit down for his lunch. God, I'm a monster.

[Anonymous]

Control freak parents should stay home.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why nannies are so upset. no one said you had to eat what the kid ate. just participate in some way. Goodness sakes. You can find something to eat with the child and say "you have your and I have mine". have a plate of carrots and whatever but sit down and eat with your charge. Think about it - you go to a restaurant with a friend and he or she just sits there and doesn't order anything and keeps saying - "go ahead, take a bite" or "Just try it" totally annoying right? Same with kids. they are smart they know you a just wanting them to eat and not really enjoying anything your self. they will wonder why if you don't have to eat they do. Have something - a plain plate a lettuce for goodness sakes - and take a few bites.

Our doctors told us the same thing over and over again for my difficult to feed underweight kid. Some amazing nannies would compliment their meal to his, bring something from home similar to what he was eating. or they would just eat a few goldfish. but they participated and ATE. some came up with new ideas of healthy high calories foods and I am eternally grateful as they did wonders for him.

You can still eat whatever you want later.

Kids need to see adults enjoying their food and eating healthy meals so that they can model the behavior. It saddens me to think so many of you are against this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why nannies are so upset. no one said you had to eat what the kid ate. just participate in some way. Goodness sakes. You can find something to eat with the child and say "you have your and I have mine". have a plate of carrots and whatever but sit down and eat with your charge. Think about it - you go to a restaurant with a friend and he or she just sits there and doesn't order anything and keeps saying - "go ahead, take a bite" or "Just try it" totally annoying right? Same with kids. they are smart they know you a just wanting them to eat and not really enjoying anything your self. they will wonder why if you don't have to eat they do. Have something - a plain plate a lettuce for goodness sakes - and take a few bites.

Our doctors told us the same thing over and over again for my difficult to feed underweight kid. Some amazing nannies would compliment their meal to his, bring something from home similar to what he was eating. or they would just eat a few goldfish. but they participated and ATE. some came up with new ideas of healthy high calories foods and I am eternally grateful as they did wonders for him.

You can still eat whatever you want later.

Kids need to see adults enjoying their food and eating healthy meals so that they can model the behavior. It saddens me to think so many of you are against this.

Did you still make all the nannies bring their own food every day? That's the biggest mistake I see around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why nannies are so upset. no one said you had to eat what the kid ate. just participate in some way. Goodness sakes. You can find something to eat with the child and say "you have your and I have mine". have a plate of carrots and whatever but sit down and eat with your charge. Think about it - you go to a restaurant with a friend and he or she just sits there and doesn't order anything and keeps saying - "go ahead, take a bite" or "Just try it" totally annoying right? Same with kids. they are smart they know you a just wanting them to eat and not really enjoying anything your self. they will wonder why if you don't have to eat they do. Have something - a plain plate a lettuce for goodness sakes - and take a few bites.

Our doctors told us the same thing over and over again for my difficult to feed underweight kid. Some amazing nannies would compliment their meal to his, bring something from home similar to what he was eating. or they would just eat a few goldfish. but they participated and ATE. some came up with new ideas of healthy high calories foods and I am eternally grateful as they did wonders for him.

You can still eat whatever you want later.

Kids need to see adults enjoying their food and eating healthy meals so that they can model the behavior. It saddens me to think so many of you are against this.

Why do you people think that you get complete control over us while we are caring for your children?? You don't get to tell us when to eat!
You're telling me to eat a plateful of lettuce to make your kid feel ok about eating. Really?
You think this kid is going to have lifelong eating issues because his nanny ate lunch while he was napping?
Holy God! STOP!!

[Anonymous]

OP here and sorry to have started such a war!

Anyway, I mentioned it to my son's wonderful nanny and she immediately agreed to eat vegetables and fresh fruit with him at lunch. She knows he has been having some issues with eating and was more than willing to do anything she could to help him.

I am blessed. Had she said no I would have respected that and not thought less of her.

Thank you for the perspectives. You all did make me realize what a sacrifice this was for her and I appreciate her all the more. And I laughed out loud over the "Todd" run!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I do my intermittent fasting days I drink water and/or nibble on carrot sticks while my children eat (I am an MB). They don't seem to notice the difference.

That's nice but it is also your choice, just as it is OP's nanny's choice to drink her protein shake once her charge is napping. I am sure you have a designated break at work to eat your lunch, but in no way would your boss dictate what you must consume, nor with whom.
Most people who work full time enjoy eating their lunch in peace, why should this situation be any different?

OP has two opportunities a day to spend with her child creating "family meal time", and she needs to work within those confines. Is she going to ask her kid's teacher to eat with him once he is in school? Will all guests consuming food in the home be required to do so at the family table together? Just how much do her child's eating issues get to dictate daily life?

Thanks Op. Always great to post about yourself in the third person. Sounds like you've made up you're mind so this thread can RIP: you are the victim here, yes yes. Do not do anything to help your child eat. You are the victim, there is no mutual solution here. You must quit your job.

HUH!?!? I posted the comment in question and can definitely say I am not the OP.

If you bothered to read through the whopping three pages of this thread PP (a lot I know), you would clearly see that I am a nanny, not an MB...that ole' reading comprehension...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why nannies are so upset. no one said you had to eat what the kid ate. just participate in some way. Goodness sakes. You can find something to eat with the child and say "you have your and I have mine". have a plate of carrots and whatever but sit down and eat with your charge. Think about it - you go to a restaurant with a friend and he or she just sits there and doesn't order anything and keeps saying - "go ahead, take a bite" or "Just try it" totally annoying right? Same with kids. they are smart they know you a just wanting them to eat and not really enjoying anything your self. they will wonder why if you don't have to eat they do. Have something - a plain plate a lettuce for goodness sakes - and take a few bites.

Our doctors told us the same thing over and over again for my difficult to feed underweight kid. Some amazing nannies would compliment their meal to his, bring something from home similar to what he was eating. or they would just eat a few goldfish. but they participated and ATE. some came up with new ideas of healthy high calories foods and I am eternally grateful as they did wonders for him.

You can still eat whatever you want later.

Kids need to see adults enjoying their food and eating healthy meals so that they can model the behavior. It saddens me to think so many of you are against this.

I am also really shocked and saddened by the reaction of nannies to this question. That the people spending much of the day with children don't care enough to make minor adjustments important for their development. No one is trying to dictate what anyone eats, just find some way to create a positive meal experience, if that means eating a bite or two of something at a time which is not the exact moment you would ideally do that, what is the big deal?

[Anonymous]

I have an idea.

Starve the child to make a point to your employer that you want to eat when you want to eat. And you will not eat at the same time with him, anything, in order to coax him to eat better.

Better yet, starve the child and then cook & eat your own meal while the child wets himself in the corner because you're busy drinking your shake.

Someone else can teach the child to eat. Maybe on the weekends or something. You're busy with your own food and time table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Child has three meals a day. Is it only lunch with the nanny? Kids can learn that people are hungry at different times, choose different foods, and so on. That's good for them. She should be sitting with him during the meal, and it'd be lovely if she wanted to have some carrots or apple slices with him, but please let this go. You have 66.6% of his meals to model "how our family eats" - he will survive one meal a day with someone who eats differently.

And two thumbs up to the hilarious part of the thread up above! You're a mom, OP. Can't you recognize how exhausting it is to field unending demands and questions and requests for a bite of your food at every meal? Let her eat in peace on her own time! "No Henry, you may not put your foot on my plate. No, we don't put our feet on our own plates either, our feet go under the table. Food stays ON the table, only feet go under it..." was the general narration of my most recent lunch as a nanny.

you think I pay you 50k a year to wake up early, dress everyone and then cook/feed my children breakfast before I go to the office at 8am. let me guess, I do that all to make your life easier when you show up to make your own oatmeal and sit at the counter.

are you really a nanny? if so you'd know you are a big part of breakfast, lunch and often dinners.

[Anonymous]

Exactly! Nannies, you want to be professionals? Take some responsibility.