Nanny quit by text, no notice after 1.5 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny.

This is ridiculously unprofessional. No matter what happened she owes you an explanation and a two weeks notice. Unless something happened in the workplace that would make her fearful for her safety, she owes it to you.

I'm sorry OP, I suggest hiring an older nanny.

Maybe DB did something inappropriate. What is nanny to do then? Discussing it with NF would make MB lash out towards nanny, not creepy DB. I’ve seen it several times.

Nannies know once DB crossed the line you just get out as quickly and quietly as possible. We know MB will figure it out eventually.

[Anonymous]

Dis OP say the nanny is 20 and a college student? I would lean more towards an emergency personal issue that you don’t know and she doesn’t want to discuss.

I understand you want “closure” or maybe to help her if she’s in a bad spot. but you can’t force that as an employer and it’s not helpful to push too much. I would just send a text saying you’re open to feedback if she has any, and if it’s not about you, asking if there’s anything you can do to help.

[Anonymous]

Nanny is 20 and in college? No matter what OP's swore, he did or said something inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

I am sort of surprised that you did not start with asking if she was ok and if she needed anything. If any of the nannies we have had texted me that, I would respond with "are you ok? What do you need? How can I support you?" When she said she could not work anymore, I would go to "did something happen? Are you hurt? Are you in a safe place?" Or more vague "This is so unlike all of our other interactions. I am hoping you are ok and am here if you need anything. Please let me know if there is something I can do." I would not, even calmly, ask what the reason was for quitting. The questions get to the same place, but one is about centering someone as a human and the other is transactionally about her being a worker for you.

[Anonymous]

This thread is 8 years old. OP prob doesn’t even need childcare anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, she also said she didn't like awkward situations and didn't feel communication was good, but I can't figure out if that was her reason for quitting or reason for not doing it in person or over the phone. Fwiw, we have had her boyfriend and her over for dinner , met her out for lunch , met with her parents so I can't see how would relate to quitting by text without notice

It’s extremely unprofessional, but having lunch or dinner with her boyfriend and parents was as well. Way, way too many boundaries crossed here, and it sounds like she thought she couldn’t discuss whatever it was in person. That may be her personality, yours, your relationship, or just the fact that’s she’s 20.

My personal opinion is that, if you expect someone to be professional, you hire a professional and keep personal/work boundaries solid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dis OP say the nanny is 20 and a college student? I would lean more towards an emergency personal issue that you don’t know and she doesn’t want to discuss.

I understand you want “closure” or maybe to help her if she’s in a bad spot. but you can’t force that as an employer and it’s not helpful to push too much. I would just send a text saying you’re open to feedback if she has any, and if it’s not about you, asking if there’s anything you can do to help.

Well, the nanny is now 28 because this thread is EIGHT YEARS OLD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny.

This is ridiculously unprofessional. No matter what happened she owes you an explanation and a two weeks notice. Unless something happened in the workplace that would make her fearful for her safety, she owes it to you.

I'm sorry OP, I suggest hiring an older nanny.

Maybe DB did something inappropriate. What is nanny to do then? Discussing it with NF would make MB lash out towards nanny, not creepy DB. I’ve seen it several times.

Nannies know once DB crossed the line you just get out as quickly and quietly as possible. We know MB will figure it out eventually.

Bingo. A similar thing happened to me in my 20s. The dad cornered me. I didn't know what to say to the mom. I think a few days later, I wrote to her saying I was uncomfortable with the dad. I can't remember. The experience whole me up. Being a nanny can be very unstable.