Nanny taking pics of kids...

[Anonymous]

What did you end up doing, OP?

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and have never posted a pic of the kids I nanny!

[Anonymous]

I post pictures to my Facebook and tag the parents. They love it because their family that lives far away can see recent pictures of their kids. I also make a scrapbook at the end of the year to give to the parents as a gift. But I would never ever refuse to let them have copies of the pictures. They are their children after all not mine. I understand getting attached to your charges but that nanny is crossing boundaries and a nanny should never tell a parent not to use a word because it is their special word. Have you ever seen the movie The Hand That Rocks The Cradle? If not, you might want to rent it.

[Anonymous]

I post pics and tag the parents too.

[Anonymous]

I also take tons of pictures of my charges - I share them with the parents occasionally but mostly I hoard them until December when I put together a fancy iPhoto-bound book for their Christmas gift, complete with stories about various days or activities that I've marked down throughout the year.

I do also, occasionally, share them with my mom or my best friend (also a nanny) to gush over how cute they are. Never do I put them online and what you're describing about extended family offering her advice that she passes down to you? That would make me crazy.

So I think you're being mildly unreasonable about the TAKING of the photos but completely in the right to set expectations for how (or how not) you'd like them used/shared.

[Anonymous]

I have tons of pictures of the kids I nanny for and show MB/DB if they are extra cute.

However, it's not appropriate to share those pictures on any internet site without permission.

I think you should talk to her about your families personal boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I think it's odd for her to not be sharing the pictures with you, I also find it odd that you expect her not to share anything with her family. I mean if she posting online without permission thanI understand, but if she visits family and they ask to see a photo of the children she spends so much time with, why is that a problem? I assuming she's full time and has been with them awhile, I don't know why you would be upset if she has such a strong bond that she wants to share a little bit of her life with her family. Your children become a big part a nanny's life if you have a good one. I take tons of pictures of my charges, all the good ones are sent to my employers, I share them on my website, nanny fb page and twitter (I have written consent forms signed by my employers). My grandmother often asks to see pictures of the children because I've cared for them since they were babies, if I let her she would probably send them Christmas gifts but I won't cross that boundary.

The children become a part of your life for a short time and many ppl with close family ties enjoy sharing bits of their life with each other.

However, you are the parent and employer, you have every right to have her sign a confidentiality form that prevents her for sharing any information, down to your child's first name. I'd just find it extreme and would worry you have some dangerous personal issues (stalkers, problems with the law) and that's why you don't want information shared in anyway.

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I was agreeing with everything till you mention your website Facebook and twitter. No. That's too much!!

That's okay, you don't need to agree with the way I use social media to connect families. My families sign a release form and enjoy how I do things because their family likes to stay connected. Each site uses different types of photos, my website has the "professional" photos, my twitter mentions the children and the Facebook page is a combination of special activities and photos of things we do during the week. Not all pictures involve the children, sometimes it's just pictures of their crafts or a sensory table I created but since I use their property, I make sure I have permission. So far every family I've worked for in the last eight years has signed the release form. They have right to refuse or later ask to have them removed but none have. It's all tasteful, legal and as safe as I can make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care if her sister in another country knows how much your kids weigh?

OP here -- twofold -- one, like I said, I'm a private person. Those just aren't details I think to share. Second, she tries to give me feedback from her sister on our kid's care. "Baby X needs more weight! Should we give her formula? My sister says you should try this brand." or "Baby X needs to roll over by now, my sister says. Are you doing tummy time when you are with her? I do lots of it." I find this kind of "feedback" intrusive.

Hmm. I could see how it could be annoying...kind of, but she is a nanny and you presumably hired her for her experience and her knowledge right? Would it be different to you if she was quoting a class she had taken, or a study she had read? She sounds like she genuinely cares about your child, and she's enthusiastic about her job. But, do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable, though I do think you are over thinking things.

My kids are in daycare (I know Im on the Nanny board....). I have written into our daycare contract that pictures of my kids are not to be posted on the website or facebook page. I know daycare takes pictures and they send them to me every once in a while. I know they love my kids and like to take pictures and I have the rules defined. As for the comments, I am on OPs side. The woman who cares for my infant is always saying I need to supplement with formula or giving me medical advice for my child and it is irritating- that is why I have a pediatrician. I know her caretakers just want what is best but I don't really like that type of approach.
I will say that when I used to babysit I did often take pictures of the kid I watched. I shared the pictures with the mom but I I was very close to him and the family (I watched him for 5 years and now his mother is actually my sons godmother). Hundreds/ thousands is a lot, but I doubt she has ill intentions. You'd be within your rights to ask what she does with them, but she may just like to look at them because she loves your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm curious as to what you all think of this. I raised the pictures tonight and asked that she share them with us. I offered to set up and pay for a Dropbox or other similar file sharing setup. She was highly reluctant, saying she didn't know how, etc. I told her we would show her. She then said "I will give you some but these pictures are for me. I want some just for me."

I had to walk away at that point. We are the parents. There are no pictures of our toddler and baby that we should be denied seeing. She has done this kind of thing before - telling me not to say a certain word to my son because it is "her word" with him.

So, what do I do now? I'm absolutely not ok with this and think it signifies a bigger problem. I am planning on telling her in the morning that her keeping pictures from us is unacceptable and non-negotiable. Any thoughts?

I am 15:28- I just went back to read the rest of the thread. I would find this totally unacceptable. There are no pictures or words or whatever just for her. I would let her go and like other PPs said see if you can make her delete the pictures or sign something that she cant use/ share them. I would be weirded out by this.

[Anonymous]

She's in her sixties and has no children, I think it's sad but very possibly true that she has no malicious intentions and just looks at the pictures when she's off the clock because she likes the charges so much. Her age would also explain the reluctance to do Dropbox and the like.

I take lots of pictures of my charges and forward them to the mum or use them in photo albums, but I certainly don't share them all with her, and I do print them out for myself - have some hanging above my desk. My charges are a huge part of my life, I truly love them and I don't see any reason why wanting to have their photos would be weird. Obviously, I don't post them online. But if you looked at my phone it is definitely a hundred kid pictures to ten of something else - but I spend most of my awake hours with them, so go figure.

If she's not posting them online - and it doesn't sound like she is - why is it such a big deal? She literally said that they were for her, so your privacy is not being violated any further than letting her into your home. Or do you think she is lying?

As for the sister thing, that would be so annoying, I agree, and I would ask that she not share this sort of information with anyone but you or the kids' doctors.

OP, what's happened since you last posted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's in her sixties and has no children, I think it's sad but very possibly true that she has no malicious intentions and just looks at the pictures when she's off the clock because she likes the charges so much. Her age would also explain the reluctance to do Dropbox and the like.

I take lots of pictures of my charges and forward them to the mum or use them in photo albums, but I certainly don't share them all with her, and I do print them out for myself - have some hanging above my desk. My charges are a huge part of my life, I truly love them and I don't see any reason why wanting to have their photos would be weird. Obviously, I don't post them online. But if you looked at my phone it is definitely a hundred kid pictures to ten of something else - but I spend most of my awake hours with them, so go figure.

If she's not posting them online - and it doesn't sound like she is - why is it such a big deal? She literally said that they were for her, so your privacy is not being violated any further than letting her into your home. Or do you think she is lying?

As for the sister thing, that would be so annoying, I agree, and I would ask that she not share this sort of information with anyone but you or the kids' doctors.

OP, what's happened since you last posted?

Yes it is weird to have them hanging on your walls. They are not your children and if I was your MB I would be weireded out by that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's in her sixties and has no children, I think it's sad but very possibly true that she has no malicious intentions and just looks at the pictures when she's off the clock because she likes the charges so much. Her age would also explain the reluctance to do Dropbox and the like.

I take lots of pictures of my charges and forward them to the mum or use them in photo albums, but I certainly don't share them all with her, and I do print them out for myself - have some hanging above my desk. My charges are a huge part of my life, I truly love them and I don't see any reason why wanting to have their photos would be weird. Obviously, I don't post them online. But if you looked at my phone it is definitely a hundred kid pictures to ten of something else - but I spend most of my awake hours with them, so go figure.

If she's not posting them online - and it doesn't sound like she is - why is it such a big deal? She literally said that they were for her, so your privacy is not being violated any further than letting her into your home. Or do you think she is lying?

As for the sister thing, that would be so annoying, I agree, and I would ask that she not share this sort of information with anyone but you or the kids' doctors.

OP, what's happened since you last posted?

Yes it is weird to have them hanging on your walls. They are not your children and if I was your MB I would be weireded out by that.

I'm an MB and I don't think it's weird if you have their pictures. The problem I have with what OP said is that the nanny won't let her see the pictures. That seems REALLY strange and like a big red flag to me. OP if you are still out there, what happened?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's in her sixties and has no children, I think it's sad but very possibly true that she has no malicious intentions and just looks at the pictures when she's off the clock because she likes the charges so much. Her age would also explain the reluctance to do Dropbox and the like.

I take lots of pictures of my charges and forward them to the mum or use them in photo albums, but I certainly don't share them all with her, and I do print them out for myself - have some hanging above my desk. My charges are a huge part of my life, I truly love them and I don't see any reason why wanting to have their photos would be weird. Obviously, I don't post them online. But if you looked at my phone it is definitely a hundred kid pictures to ten of something else - but I spend most of my awake hours with them, so go figure.

If she's not posting them online - and it doesn't sound like she is - why is it such a big deal? She literally said that they were for her, so your privacy is not being violated any further than letting her into your home. Or do you think she is lying?

As for the sister thing, that would be so annoying, I agree, and I would ask that she not share this sort of information with anyone but you or the kids' doctors.

OP, what's happened since you last posted?

Not the pictures but putting them in frames on the wall. They are not her children or family members.
Yes it is weird to have them hanging on your walls. They are not your children and if I was your MB I would be weireded out by that.

I'm an MB and I don't think it's weird if you have their pictures. The problem I have with what OP said is that the nanny won't let her see the pictures. That seems REALLY strange and like a big red flag to me. OP if you are still out there, what happened?

[Anonymous]

I can understand why you may be uncomfortable OP.

But just as anther viewpoint I'm a nanny that takes lots of pictures during the day I don't always send them to mom and dad but at the end of my time with the family or as a holiday gift I make scrapbooks to give to the parents as keepsakes I also give them any extra pictures I have of them nothing sinister.

[Anonymous]

As long as they are on her phone and not plastered all over her Facebook wall, I think that is okay. After all, it is 2014.