Nanny taking pics of kids...

[Anonymous]

Our Nanny takes a ton of pictures of our kids. A ton. I only know this because I've seen her swipe through them on her phone -- she does not share them with us, although she likely would if we asked. I'm a bit uncomfortable with her taking so many pictures -- she has a huge family and I believe she shares the pictures with them. We've already had to talk to her about sharing information about our kids -- whether they are sick, weight (she uses our baby scale to weigh our kids), etc with her sister who is a pediatrician in another country.

Am I off-base here? I'm a very private person and so perhaps I'm thinking about this too much?

[Anonymous]

Yes you are thinking about this too much

[Anonymous]

Why do you care if her sister in another country knows how much your kids weigh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our Nanny takes a ton of pictures of our kids. A ton. I only know this because I've seen her swipe through them on her phone -- she does not share them with us, although she likely would if we asked. I'm a bit uncomfortable with her taking so many pictures -- she has a huge family and I believe she shares the pictures with them. We've already had to talk to her about sharing information about our kids -- whether they are sick, weight (she uses our baby scale to weigh our kids), etc with her sister who is a pediatrician in another country.

Am I off-base here? I'm a very private person and so perhaps I'm thinking about this too much?

No, you are not off-base. Ask her what she does with the photos. My nanny was posting our kids pics on her Facebook page so I requested that she not post any pics of the kids anywhere on the internet. She should be copying you on any of the photos she is taking.

[Anonymous]

While I think it's odd for her to not be sharing the pictures with you, I also find it odd that you expect her not to share anything with her family. I mean if she posting online without permission thanI understand, but if she visits family and they ask to see a photo of the children she spends so much time with, why is that a problem? I assuming she's full time and has been with them awhile, I don't know why you would be upset if she has such a strong bond that she wants to share a little bit of her life with her family. Your children become a big part a nanny's life if you have a good one. I take tons of pictures of my charges, all the good ones are sent to my employers, I share them on my website, nanny fb page and twitter (I have written consent forms signed by my employers). My grandmother often asks to see pictures of the children because I've cared for them since they were babies, if I let her she would probably send them Christmas gifts but I won't cross that boundary.

The children become a part of your life for a short time and many ppl with close family ties enjoy sharing bits of their life with each other.

However, you are the parent and employer, you have every right to have her sign a confidentiality form that prevents her for sharing any information, down to your child's first name. I'd just find it extreme and would worry you have some dangerous personal issues (stalkers, problems with the law) and that's why you don't want information shared in anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care if her sister in another country knows how much your kids weigh?

OP here -- twofold -- one, like I said, I'm a private person. Those just aren't details I think to share. Second, she tries to give me feedback from her sister on our kid's care. "Baby X needs more weight! Should we give her formula? My sister says you should try this brand." or "Baby X needs to roll over by now, my sister says. Are you doing tummy time when you are with her? I do lots of it." I find this kind of "feedback" intrusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I think it's odd for her to not be sharing the pictures with you, I also find it odd that you expect her not to share anything with her family. I mean if she posting online without permission thanI understand, but if she visits family and they ask to see a photo of the children she spends so much time with, why is that a problem? I assuming she's full time and has been with them awhile, I don't know why you would be upset if she has such a strong bond that she wants to share a little bit of her life with her family. Your children become a big part a nanny's life if you have a good one. I take tons of pictures of my charges, all the good ones are sent to my employers, I share them on my website, nanny fb page and twitter (I have written consent forms signed by my employers). My grandmother often asks to see pictures of the children because I've cared for them since they were babies, if I let her she would probably send them Christmas gifts but I won't cross that boundary.

The children become a part of your life for a short time and many ppl with close family ties enjoy sharing bits of their life with each other.

However, you are the parent and employer, you have every right to have her sign a confidentiality form that prevents her for sharing any information, down to your child's first name. I'd just find it extreme and would worry you have some dangerous personal issues (stalkers, problems with the law) and that's why you don't want information shared in anyway.

OP here -- what you wrote above would drive me bonkers. I get that you have written consent and it doesn't bother your employers, which is great. But I do not want that kind of stuff happening.

I understand that kids become a part of the nanny's life. And I get taking some pictures. But she has hundreds, if not a thousand pictures, and she's only been with us since early summer. And we don't have any of those pictures.

I think I need to ask her specifically what she's doing with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care if her sister in another country knows how much your kids weigh?

OP here -- twofold -- one, like I said, I'm a private person. Those just aren't details I think to share. Second, she tries to give me feedback from her sister on our kid's care. "Baby X needs more weight! Should we give her formula? My sister says you should try this brand." or "Baby X needs to roll over by now, my sister says. Are you doing tummy time when you are with her? I do lots of it." I find this kind of "feedback" intrusive.

Hmm. I could see how it could be annoying...kind of, but she is a nanny and you presumably hired her for her experience and her knowledge right? Would it be different to you if she was quoting a class she had taken, or a study she had read? She sounds like she genuinely cares about your child, and she's enthusiastic about her job. But, do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable, though I do think you are over thinking things.

[Anonymous]

Just talk to her. As for the talking to her sister, perhaps she's just worried about the kids and was bouncing the information off someone in the medical field. I understand that you don't want her input, but there are employers (like me) who value their nanny's input on things because they've been doing it a lot longer than I have.

But yeah, just talk to her in a calm way.

[Anonymous]

I collect pictures of the kids I care for throughout the year. I share the occasional really cute picture with the parents, but I generally save them for any crafts we do using pictures, or for albums I give as Christmas gifts. I'm not posting them online, or even showing them to anyone aside from my husband. If my employers asked to see all the pictures, I'd happily show them, but I'd find your nueroticism over the pictures and sharing details about my job with others off putting.

[Anonymous]

I take pictures of my charges to send to their parents/grandparents throughout the week.
I have a lot of pictures of the kids on my phone.
Most of them are "throwaways." Kids are notorious for not being able to hold still. It takes 10 pictures to get one that turns out. If she is posting them online, I could understand you not being comfortable with that.
Nannies spend a lot of time with their charges. I love showing off pictures of my little people to my family.
I would be very sad oft bosses took issue with this.
As for sharing information with her sister, if you don't want her sharing the information, tell her not to.
I would be happy to have a nanny who cares about whether my children are thriving.
She obviously cares about them.

[Anonymous]

I tell in interviews that I don't want any pics of my kids being posted online and I also check to make sure the nanny doesn't have a blog. In this day and age you never know what people do online. It may be paranoid, but better safe than sorry.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the feedback. I'm going to ask her to not post pics online and let the rest be. It makes me uncomfortable to have her share info about my kids with her family and friends but I can accept that my privacy lines are outside the norm. I think next time we look for a nanny I'll be more upfront about how I feel about these kinds of things -- this was our first foray into having a nanny and I didn't anticipate how I'd feel about our family being conversation for others. Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

She shouldn't be sharing personal information about your family including photos without your consent. Have your nanny sign a disclosure agreement. If she repeatedly violates it you can use it as an excuse to fire her.

[Anonymous]

I take a lot of a pictures of my charge as well. Probably one or two a day, most of which I send to his mother (she asked me to do this). If you look at the gallery of my phone it's absolutely mostly him I have pictures of. But that's because I'm with him for 10 hours a day, what else would I take pictures of? And while I do delete some, I have a hard time doing so because they are all little memories I have. As for what I do with them (besides sending them to MB), I do show them to my family on occasion, but only in person. I would never put any pictures up on the internet without the parent's permission and since neither MB or DB are big on the internet (don't have facebooks or anything) I just assumed they would rather not so never bothered asking. Personally I'm not big on pictures of kids on the internet anyway.

Telling details to her sister and then trying to give you advice based on that is just inappropriate though. Maybe it's a cultural thing? That would drive me nuts if I were in your shoes!