Nanny went out last night and came back engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. She went out last night with her long time BF, we love him, as do our kids. She often takes them on "dates" with him. She told us this morning that she is engaged. Actually we asked about the HUGE rock on her finger. What do we do now? Like where to go from here? Part of me feels betrayed. We just told her that we want to expand our family, and now she wants to leave us. Should we start looking? Have her train someone? What did you do when your nanny left to get married?

Who says she wants to leave you? Do you NEED a live-in nanny and cannot work with someone who is live-out? Just because she is going to get married, that doesn't mean she wants to stop working for you. Also, I know MANY people that have long engagements, 6 months-1 year is pretty normal, and some go longer. So that could be another year before she would be moving out. Why don't you talk to her about her current plans for things and see what she is thinking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is basically giving you six month notice. That is more than enough time to get your shit together and find a new childcare provider who will care for your imaginary newborn. Your nanny is going to be living the dream, engaged and supported by fiancé until she finishes school. Damn you're lucky she didn't up and leave now

imaginary newborn? We plan on having a child very soon. We don't want her to put her life on hold, but this is really the worst possible time to do this (on her end). It's not like we can just put off having another baby. We really do want her to be happy but it is hard knowing that she will be leaving us very soon.

You plan on having another child soon. You are not pregnant yet. It can take several months for that to happen, then another 9 months in the oven. So thinking about a year away you MIGHT have another child. How is that the worst time for her to leave? It's probably the best, find someone that is willing to start off with your current child and add another when you know you are pregnant already and have a due date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP is upset because she talked to the nanny a month ago and the nanny said she was definitely staying on for an extended period of time. It sounds like the nanny isn't giving her 6 months notice but more immediate notice. The nanny is going to live off her fiancé until they get married in 6 months.

The nanny communicated that she planned to stay a month ago, now she isn't. I doubt the nanny had no idea she would get engaged. I doubt the nanny had never considered that the minute she was engaged she would stop working. I can understand why the nanny lied in omission in telling the OP if she got engaged she would stop working but I can also understand why the OP feels the nanny betrayed her trust.

No, the nanny had mentioned before that she planned on quitting once married and that might happen in 6 months. The nanny never said anything about moving out now, the OP did in a frantic craze thinking her nanny is going to be gone tomorrow.

I agree that the nanny probably didn't know she would be engaged at this time, and so as of a month ago, what she said was what she thought would be happening.

[Anonymous]

Op here.

We talked today. She plans to leave in and move in with her fiance in 3 months. 3 months after that, she will be having her wedding on a Saturday. That Friday will be her last day with us. She has no desire to stay on with us after getting married.

She said she needs to focus more on school. She also told us that she is willing to train a new nanny on how things run.

I don't know if I am okay with her moving to "live out" status. Sometimes we have spur of the moment type things and we have to quickly leave the kids with her.

[Anonymous]

Op again, they have nailed down a date too.

[Anonymous]

Well then find a new nanny that is live-in. Just don't complain about your old one who is willing to stay living-in for 3 months and still working while living-out for the other 3 months.

[Anonymous]

You could also try being parents and not doing things spur of the moment where you have to "quickly leave the kids with her". You sound very entitled. It would be for 3 months! Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Why would she work the day before her wedding? I call BS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

We talked today. She plans to leave in and move in with her fiance in 3 months. 3 months after that, she will be having her wedding on a Saturday. That Friday will be her last day with us. She has no desire to stay on with us after getting married.

She said she needs to focus more on school. She also told us that she is willing to train a new nanny on how things run.

I don't know if I am okay with her moving to "live out" status. Sometimes we have spur of the moment type things and we have to quickly leave the kids with her.

OP, you are now starting to sound like a whiny nanny who isn't getting her way. First off, a live-in isn't supposed to be there for your "spur of the moment" events. She has a set schedule like every other nanny and it is not ok to abuse it. If you aren't happy about the situation, you can choose to start looking for a new nanny now, or wait for your nanny to leave you. Yes, it is always hard to have a new person come into your home, but it is going to happen. Take charge of the situation now and start looking. If you find someone, you can have your nanny train the new one before she leaves.

But really, you need to grow up and stop treating people like they are there to serve you, only you and not have an outside life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would she work the day before her wedding? I call BS

OP here.

I don't know why. She wants a night time wedding in DC, so I suppose it wouldn't be an issue.

And I worked the day before my wedding.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm an MB. You sound awful.

You are getting SIX MONTHS of notice, plus a nanny who will train her replacement.

You should be thanking your lucky stars.

You clearly have no idea how much worse it could be. You honestly do not sound like you deserve the kind of notice and consideration this nanny is giving you.

I'm just appalled at your attitude.

[Anonymous]

I'm appalled too. The selfishness and entitlement is revolting.

If you require live in so you can live a non-parent spur of the moment life style, then hire a new live in to take over when this one moves out. It shouldn't be that difficult to figure out. Start looking now so you have plenty of time to interview, and maybe even do a trial run so you're sure you are finding someone more than suitable.

Be glad she is being so understanding of your needs. She could be approaching this with a "me, me, me!" attitude.

[Anonymous]

OP, I get it. Life is soooooooooooo hard isn't it? I am playing the world's tiniest violin just for YOU.

[Anonymous]

I just read this ENTIRE thread b/c I was sure there were be a Jeff post stating that this is a known troll. If this is not a troll post, OP needs to soul search and maybe not have more kids b/c she seems crazy selfish.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am an MB and I am totally embarrassed for you.

There is not a single thing about your post that is OK (or your subsequent follow up posts). Be thankful that you seem to have a wonderful EMPLOYEE and wish her well and thank her for her time with you and be very grateful she gave you this amount of notice.

You truly sound like a spoilt teenager. This is another human being you are talking about, they do not in any way belong to you and I would not be surprised if she moved iout andd quit sooner if she discovered this ridiculous post.

Be happy for her. It's just that simple, that is the only appropriate reaction to have right now.