Nanny went out last night and came back engaged.
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Anonymous
| Title says it all. She went out last night with her long time BF, we love him, as do our kids. She often takes them on "dates" with him. She told us this morning that she is engaged. Actually we asked about the HUGE rock on her finger. What do we do now? Like where to go from here? Part of me feels betrayed. We just told her that we want to expand our family, and now she wants to leave us. Should we start looking? Have her train someone? What did you do when your nanny left to get married? |
Anonymous
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She is your nanny, not your servant. You don't own her and you the fact that you feel betrayed that she got engaged is quite scary.
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Anonymous
| I don't think she is a servant, in fact we love her dearly. I just feel that suddenly we have a lot of stress put on us because she is leaving all of a sudden. |
Anonymous
| Unacceptable. She must take that obnoxious ring off her finger at once. Pull out the contract and remind her that she is never to upstage you or aspire to have happiness, love or a family of her own. |
Anonymous
It may be stressful but she is allowed to live her life. She is allowed to get married and have her own family. You don't own her, she isn't betraying you by moving on in her life into the next phase. She doesn't have to put her life on hold and just be nothing but at your beck and call until your children are grown. It sounds like you love what she does for you but you don't love her as a person, or see her as a human. You see her as employee whose job is to serve your family and now she has gone and dared to do something for herself, and you are mad. If you were stressed about losing her and needing to find a new nanny, you should have said that. You didn't. |
Anonymous
| Did she SAY she wants to leave you, or are you just assuming? She hasn't betrayed you. It would be completely unreasonable for you to move your life forward and for you to think her life should be put on hold for you to do that. |
Anonymous
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Again, we do not think that we own her. However:
1. We just had a conversation with her not even 1 month ago, expressing that we are actively trying to conceive again and that we want to know if she would need any additional help caring for a new baby (or multiples). 2. She told us that she cares for our family very much but she will be leaving after she gets married. Both her and her fiance know they won't get married until at least 6 months out. This is still hard for us because we want to have another child and she plans to leave for her honeymoon and not come back. 3. She is on her 3rd year of college and said she would stay with us until she graduated and hopefully got a job in her field. She is in nursing school. Her new plan is to move into her fiance's upscale home in Georgetown and work on nursing school only and not have to support herself through college. I feel like she is now leaving us because she has a better deal. She is currently a live in. I don't know if she plans to shack up with fiance until the wedding or not. This is extremely stressful for me, but I do want to be supportive to her. |
Anonymous
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Op. Zero out of three of the above reasons are valid. You don't get it. Yes it is stressful for you.
She doesn't have to stay because you are having a baby. That isn't her responsibility in the least. Her life plans have changed. Likely when she started and said she would stay through school she didn't know she would meet the man she wanted to marry. She is doing what is best for her, and that is the person she needs to look out for. She probably loves your kids very much, but your attitude may be one of the reasons she is wanting out ASAP. You seem to have no idea how you come across. If you want to be supportive, be excited for her and congratulate her on this new stage in her life. Tell her how much you appreciate the role she has played in your children's lives and that you hope you can stay in touch. Plan out her notice (how many weeks did she give) and you can maybe overlap and see if she is willing to orient the new nanny. Find a new nanny. Continue on with your life and let her continue on with hers. |
Anonymous
| OP, how did people respond to you when you got engaged? "How dare you betray us?" Get a grip, woman, and act like a human being here. |
Anonymous
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OP, you're being completely unreasonable and should be ashamed of the way you're talking here. You are making it very clear that you expect your nanny (who, by the sounds of it, has a happy and promising life ahead of her) to put her life on hold to suit your needs. She doesn't owe you anything beyond upholding her part of a good employer-employee relationship, and it sounds like she has been very communicative about your joint future and willing to continue helping.
Maybe it was a surprise engagement. Maybe she wasn't ready to tell you she would be engaged shortly when you were (weirdly) telling your nanny that you were actively trying conceive. Get a bloody grip. |
Anonymous
| This is painfully obvious as a troll post. You can tell by the way the "MB" is obsessing over the "nanny's" ring, the fiancé's apt, etc. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
You haven't been around the block much, have you? |
Anonymous
| She is basically giving you six month notice. That is more than enough time to get your shit together and find a new childcare provider who will care for your imaginary newborn. Your nanny is going to be living the dream, engaged and supported by fiancé until she finishes school. Damn you're lucky she didn't up and leave now |
Anonymous
| If you aren't a troll, you certainly don't "love" your nanny or her fiance. I was thrilled when my nanny got engaged and had her wedding and reception at my house. |