Bringing child to work offer

[Anonymous]

Oh and swimming is a huge summer thing around here. How am I supposed to be carting a newborn to the pool out in the hot sun and still keep the 4-year-old within arms length of me at all times (which is the rules at their community pool)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a 3 hour window, 3 days per week, where both boys are in school and that is spent cleaning and doing errands for the family. So no I don't get to just sit on my ass all day. And as I said before, I would be going back to when they are out for the summer and need my attention constantly. We had been talking about moving back long before this offer came up to have the family support we need anyway. It's not a knee jerk reaction. It just makes more sense. I would have family coming to help us move back while I am on leave.

OP, I don't think anyone was saying you just get to sit on your ass all day. Some people are weighing in on your salary without knowing full details. Things like how frequently the kids are in school, other job duties, and your geographic location are very important. Sounds like you're getting a bit defensive. You can't expect people to know things like that you've been considering moving back or how much your family would help you if you haven't said them. Remember that people here are not weighing in on the full story. So you take everyone's input on what you specifically asked and weigh it with what only you can know and make your decision. DCUM isn't personal, so no need to get defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and swimming is a huge summer thing around here. How am I supposed to be carting a newborn to the pool out in the hot sun and still keep the 4-year-old within arms length of me at all times (which is the rules at their community pool)?

Hey, OP. Your employer proposed what would work for her. You now get to consider whether or not that would work for you. Sounds like it wouldn't for a variety of reasons, some of which surely your employee doesn't know about (does she know you've been planning to move back to your family for a while?) or hasn't yet thought about (like swimming). So you say no and find a better solution for your family. It's really not necessary to get indignant. She isn't trying to be insulting or propose something just to make your life harder. She probably thought she would mention it, let you know what the salary would be and then if it worked for you, you could work out the details. No hard feelings if it doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you saying that this would be of NO benefit to her MB need to stop and think. Reducing her salary that much would be a HUGE benefit to the MB.

Yeah, those of us who were saying that this would be no benefit to the MB were saying that the compensation needs to come down commensurate with the benefit to the nanny. Then, it's even - benefit to the MB is cheaper childcare, benefit to the nanny is she gets to bring her baby along. Even.

[Anonymous]

I have not told her about our thoughts of moving back. I do not want to get fired. She'd have no reason to keep me on now if she knew this. I would rather work on finding a new job in my hometown than something temporary here to hold me over. I don't think I owe her any explanation or notice UNTIL right before I go on leave (in which they will be hiring a temp nanny).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and swimming is a huge summer thing around here. How am I supposed to be carting a newborn to the pool out in the hot sun and still keep the 4-year-old within arms length of me at all times (which is the rules at their community pool)?

Exactly, OP. This is a perfect example of why your services will be worth less to your MB if you are bringing along your baby. If you bring along your baby, her children will not get to spend the summer at the pool. Why would your MB pay the same price for a reduced service? I get that it's hard sometimes to see nannying as a straight "money for a service" transaction, but at it's heart, that's what it is. No need to get emotional about it if it's not working for both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not told her about our thoughts of moving back. I do not want to get fired. She'd have no reason to keep me on now if she knew this. I would rather work on finding a new job in my hometown than something temporary here to hold me over. I don't think I owe her any explanation or notice UNTIL right before I go on leave (in which they will be hiring a temp nanny).

I wasn't saying that you should have told her this or that you owe her any explanation at all. What I was saying is that you really shouldn't be getting mad at her for proposing you bringing your baby along. From her perspective, she was likely proposing something she thought would work for both of you. You take that proposal and you consider it along with your own needs and wants (including the fact that you've been thinking about going back home) and you decide what is best for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the nanny who previously posted that I was bringing my child to work. PP, I do not really appreciate what you are insinuating. I am not a liar, I do work with three families and I do bring my child with me. I am paid what I am worth and my families agree with it. I have been working with one of them for over two years and the bringing of my child has never been a problem or obstacle.
Now, I never said it was easy to find a job. In fact, I did mention in my post that it will be tougher to find a decent position, but it is possible. When I place an ad, I always mention that my child comes with me and I do get contacted by families who just love the idea. I do not force it on anyone and I do understand that it is not a situation for everyone. But, please, do not act as if you were above it all. Be open-minded and understand others may have different ideas, ways or needs than yours.

I am the PP you are talking to. I understand that you may have found a good situation but my point was that the reality is that this is EXTREMELY rare. I really cannot think of a reason why an MB would CHOOSE a nanny who wants to bring her child over one who does not if all else is equal. The only real instances this has a benefit for the MB is if the nanny has a very unusual skill set that is valuable to that family, the nanny and family already have a very close relationship (OP's case), or there is a significant financial benefit to the family. The socialization aspect is not really a benefit for the family - you can get that from a nanny share, from playdates or preschool, or music and gym classes without all of the downsides that go with it. Every time this topic comes up, dozens of MBs post about how this is a terrible option for families and only rarely do any even post that they would be willing to try it, let alone pay a nanny a full salary for it. Just trying to paint a full picture for OP.

[Anonymous]

The OP has already posted that she is going to move home rather than take this offer which sounds like a better move. It sounds like the OP's MB is being nice and hasn't thought through how this will not work so its good that the OP is doing this. My kids are ages 4 and 7. They aren't aggressive but their schedules and activities would not meld with a newborn or infant. Its smart of the OP to think about the summer swimming. There's no way the OP could restrict the kids from spending the summer at the pool without jeopardizing her job and she can't safely watch a 4 yr old swimming and care for a newborn.

I remember when my kids were babies that there was someone about the time period between 5-7 pm that we called the fussy witching hour. Several of my friends had the same experience. Unless MB gets home at 5pm, OP would be dealing with homework, dinner prep and the older kids while trying to care for her infant. The OP's current arrangement involves housekeeping while the 4 yr old is in school. Unless she really isn't doing any housework during those 3 years, nice she has her baby things will not get done. Her MB may not have thought about this and may be less thrilled with the arrangement once she realizes this.

OP also has to consider how comfortable she will be bringing her newborn along when her charges are sick. One of the reasons people have a nanny is so they don't have to take off work if the kids needs to stay home from school when they are ill. The OP can't expect her employer to extend her unlimited PTO or let her not come whenever the older kids are ill.

Unless they have a minivan, there may be issues with car seats. There is a big liability problem with a nanny bringing her child to work. If there is a car accident, the insurance will most likely cover the nanny's child as a guest rider since the nanny was bringing the child to work. This liability would be on the nanny. If the baby is injured in the house the same holds true for the home owners insurance but the liability would be on the parents.

Finally, one of the biggest concerns from MBs on this is that they do not want care where their child is always #2. Nannies will claim they never favor their child but the OP has been very honest that she considers her infant to be #1. This isn't going to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OP has already posted that she is going to move home rather than take this offer which sounds like a better move. It sounds like the OP's MB is being nice and hasn't thought through how this will not work so its good that the OP is doing this. My kids are ages 4 and 7. They aren't aggressive but their schedules and activities would not meld with a newborn or infant. Its smart of the OP to think about the summer swimming. There's no way the OP could restrict the kids from spending the summer at the pool without jeopardizing her job and she can't safely watch a 4 yr old swimming and care for a newborn.

I remember when my kids were babies that there was someone about the time period between 5-7 pm that we called the fussy witching hour. Several of my friends had the same experience. Unless MB gets home at 5pm, OP would be dealing with homework, dinner prep and the older kids while trying to care for her infant. The OP's current arrangement involves housekeeping while the 4 yr old is in school. Unless she really isn't doing any housework during those 3 years, nice she has her baby things will not get done. Her MB may not have thought about this and may be less thrilled with the arrangement once she realizes this.

OP also has to consider how comfortable she will be bringing her newborn along when her charges are sick. One of the reasons people have a nanny is so they don't have to take off work if the kids needs to stay home from school when they are ill. The OP can't expect her employer to extend her unlimited PTO or let her not come whenever the older kids are ill.

Unless they have a minivan, there may be issues with car seats. There is a big liability problem with a nanny bringing her child to work. If there is a car accident, the insurance will most likely cover the nanny's child as a guest rider since the nanny was bringing the child to work. This liability would be on the nanny. If the baby is injured in the house the same holds true for the home owners insurance but the liability would be on the parents.

Finally, one of the biggest concerns from MBs on this is that they do not want care where their child is always #2. Nannies will claim they never favor their child but the OP has been very honest that she considers her infant to be #1. This isn't going to work.

Thank you! You are exactly right on all that you said. I am thinking of myself and my family, but obviously as many of you pointed out, this would not benefit my MB or her kids much at all. So I'm doing what is best for both of us. I am going to speak with the nanny agency as my leave gets closer and see if I can help out in finding a replacement that may want to stay on permanently, so they do not have to go through so many changes in a short time.

[Anonymous]

OP, that's lovely. Hope it works out for everyone.

[Anonymous]

I have not told her about our thoughts of moving back. I do not want to get fired. She'd have no reason to keep me on now if she knew this. I would rather work on finding a new job in my hometown than something temporary here to hold me over. I don't think I owe her any explanation or notice UNTIL right before I go on leave (in which they will be hiring a temp nanny).

it sounded from your initial post, OP, that your MB has been really good to work for and understanding in the pregnancy. Why do you assume she would fire you immediately rather than simply set the new nanny up to start when you go on leave. I strongly disagree that you only need to tell her "right before" you go on leave since in that case she will have to transition nannies twice - once for a temp nanny that she'd hire thinking you will be back and possibly a 2nd time if the temp nanny was "fine for now" but not what they want to keep long term. Why not tell her at least 4 to 6 weeks before your leave so your MB can instead plan to start the new nanny when you go out on leave? You posted nothing to suggest she would fire you right away for simply telling her you plan to go before your leave starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Yes I get paid legally with taxes taken out. I get paid for 50 hours a week with no overtime. It's salaried.

Well, you should have figured out the OT and had it in your contract, since that's the law. In actuallity you get $11.82/hour straight time and 17.73/hour OT. Nannies are NOT legally eligible to be salaried employees.

I think you're wise to be leaving nannying, because you can't see that your MB is actually offering a decent deal, considering all the issues your child will add to her life and her kids lives. Best wishes to you as you move and find other work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have not told her about our thoughts of moving back. I do not want to get fired. She'd have no reason to keep me on now if she knew this. I would rather work on finding a new job in my hometown than something temporary here to hold me over. I don't think I owe her any explanation or notice UNTIL right before I go on leave (in which they will be hiring a temp nanny).

it sounded from your initial post, OP, that your MB has been really good to work for and understanding in the pregnancy. Why do you assume she would fire you immediately rather than simply set the new nanny up to start when you go on leave. I strongly disagree that you only need to tell her "right before" you go on leave since in that case she will have to transition nannies twice - once for a temp nanny that she'd hire thinking you will be back and possibly a 2nd time if the temp nanny was "fine for now" but not what they want to keep long term. Why not tell her at least 4 to 6 weeks before your leave so your MB can instead plan to start the new nanny when you go out on leave? You posted nothing to suggest she would fire you right away for simply telling her you plan to go before your leave starts.

I think 4 weeks before my leave sounds fair. I didn't mean the week before, but a few at least. I just didn't want to say anything now just in case it would be a problem for them keep me on til Feb. As I said above, I am going to speak to the nanny agency about getting a permanent replacement instead of just a temp to make it easier for the family.

[Anonymous]

Jeez, another post where the op is bordering on outrageous, and then gets indignant with people who don't agree with her. Smh. This is nuts! I am a nanny and I think you're being ripped off anyway caring for 2 kids for 13/hr, BUT a 3$/hr pay decrease for bringing your kid with you isn't anything to complain about.