Nanny gave her notice due to unreasonable working conditions

[Anonymous]

House rules: no shoes, only socks or clean slippers, bring change of clothes to change once at work, and no tv or cellphone while at work, and Quiet while kids are napping. Is this unreasonable to ask a nanny or babysitter to follow? My husband said, I was in the wrong and etc.

[Anonymous]

Reasonable
no shoes, only socks or clean slippers
no tv
quiet while kids are napping

Not Reasonable
bring change of clothes to change once at work
no cellphone while at work

[Anonymous]

It would be unreasonable for me.

I shower every morning and put on clean clothes. I don't want to change again 30 mins later when I arrive at your house. It not only doubles my laundry but insinuates that you think my home (or just myself) is dirty.

I couldn't be without access to my phone. I have two kids in full time school, one with a life threatening allergy. I have two parents in their 70s that each live alone. I also have my 89 and 92yo grandparents still alive who live together but by themselves. I need to be reachable. I also use my phone for dance party music, directions, making reservations for outings, recipes for cooking/baking, setting up playdates.

Not quite sure about the quiet at nap thing. Since nannies don't get formal breaks and I'm used to working 45-50 hours per week, sometimes I need to call a doctor or other business that is closed outside of my work hours. For example, today I had to have a 10 minutes call with the roofers that are coming to my house tomorrow. I also have to call the post office as I'm missing a package that was marked delivered. Those can only be tended to between 9-5 and I work 8:30-5:30.

Basically, I am a professional, knowledgeable adult with 20 years' experience and a bachelors in child psychology. The nanny market is booming with full time, long term positions that wouldn't have these requirements so there's no reason I'd choose to continue working in that environment.

[Anonymous]

OP why do want the nanny to change clothes when arriving to work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:House rules: no shoes, only socks or clean slippers, bring change of clothes to change once at work, and no tv or cellphone while at work, and Quiet while kids are napping. Is this unreasonable to ask a nanny or babysitter to follow? My husband said, I was in the wrong and etc.

Many families that I currently work for have a “no shoe” rule in their homes.
I understand if they have nice carpet or flooring that they tend to keep clean.

However the majority of these families have dirty floors & it grosses me out to be barefoot in their homes.
My feet tend to get sticky + my soles usually are black when I get off work.
In these situations, I see zero logic in going barefoot in someone else’s home.

Bringing a change of clothes to immediately change into once I enter an employer’s home is just RUDE.
Unless I am being asked to do it for pet allergies.

No T.V. is kind of understandable however screen time can certainly come in handy if working a really long day.
It’s nice to be able to put the kid(s) in front of the T.V. briefly while I clean up after lunch, etc.

No cellphone use is very unreasonable for a multitude of obvious reasons.
And of course - common sense dictates that a Nanny is always quiet while child is napping.

[Anonymous]

Curious if these were disclosed during the interview or if the nanny started and then you told them about those conditions.

Reasonable:
no shoes
no tv

Middle:
quiet when kids are napping - are you worried that they are going to play loud music or vacuum? They are home alone and can't watch TV, so how loud can they get?
No cellphone -- they should have cellphone on them at all times -- what if a kid had a medical emergency? What if you need to let them know something? Also, music for dances, looking up new projects for kids, sending you photos of cute things. I would say please don't be active on your phone while with the kids, but not allowed to have it at all? Not reasonable.


Not Reasonable
bring change of clothes to change once at work - if you want them to wear a uniform, provide that and have them arrive in work in it. But, why are you asking them to change in your house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious if these were disclosed during the interview or if the nanny started and then you told them about those conditions.

Reasonable:
no shoes
no tv

Middle:
quiet when kids are napping - are you worried that they are going to play loud music or vacuum? They are home alone and can't watch TV, so how loud can they get?
No cellphone -- they should have cellphone on them at all times -- what if a kid had a medical emergency? What if you need to let them know something? Also, music for dances, looking up new projects for kids, sending you photos of cute things. I would say please don't be active on your phone while with the kids, but not allowed to have it at all? Not reasonable.


Not Reasonable
bring change of clothes to change once at work - if you want them to wear a uniform, provide that and have them arrive in work in it. But, why are you asking them to change
in your house?

My house is clean and no shoes is how, I keep it clean, change of clothes because nanny is taking Lyft to work due to a car accident recently, no cell because I want nanny full attention on kids, cellphone is ok when kids napping.

[Anonymous]

Depends. My old nanny took metro to work and dressed nice there. Once she got to our house she changed into softer clothes and slippers. The next one drove so only kept warm slippers at our house. Both used their phone during breaks and kept quiet during nap. One rested and the other sorted baby clothes etc.
no tv is fine. No excessive personal calls is also fine.

[Anonymous]

1. No shoes, of course. I will always wear and keep a clean pair of sleepers in your house.

2. Bring another outfit to get change after 25 min I left my house (by driving) wearing my very clean cloth and even shower every morning. I don't think so.

3. Keep quite; while kids are napping. Of course, no problem. I'm allowed and happy to use my phone, make my personal calls and even watch a movie in my tablet. I will be very quiet if I make a phone call next to their room; but no need. My employers know I have a very loud voice and happy to hear me, when I'm laughing in the basement, backyard or front porch. The kids are fully having sweet dreams I their bedroom and happily sleeping with their noisy machine.

4. And yes, I am completely allowed to use my phone also when I'm with the kids, to set up playdates, changes of schedule schools, search for fun activities to do with my charges, send cute pics to parents etc.

Good luck with your new nannies to come.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and I will not be managed, haha. The moment I hear anything like this from a parent, I would give them a notice. However, my family are super nice and they hired somebody whose judgement they completely trust. I always keep extra clothes at work, and I would not work for the family who wear shoes inside. So, the fact that this OP family has to set the "rules" means they hired a wrong person. No nanny would be 'loud" while kids nap, why should she? If they wake up, it is more work for her! Op, your nanny does not make sense unless you are here to troll us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be unreasonable for me.

I shower every morning and put on clean clothes. I don't want to change again 30 mins later when I arrive at your house. It not only doubles my laundry but insinuates that you think my home (or just myself) is dirty.

I couldn't be without access to my phone. I have two kids in full time school, one with a life threatening allergy. I have two parents in their 70s that each live alone. I also have my 89 and 92yo grandparents still alive who live together but by themselves. I need to be reachable. I also use my phone for dance party music, directions, making reservations for outings, recipes for cooking/baking, setting up playdates.

Not quite sure about the quiet at nap thing. Since nannies don't get formal breaks and I'm used to working 45-50 hours per week, sometimes I need to call a doctor or other business that is closed outside of my work hours. For example, today I had to have a 10 minutes call with the roofers that are coming to my house tomorrow. I also have to call the post office as I'm missing a package that was marked delivered. Those can only be tended to between 9-5 and I work 8:30-5:30.

Basically, I am a professional, knowledgeable adult with 20 years' experience and a bachelors in child psychology. The nanny market is booming with full time, long term positions that wouldn't have these requirements so there's no reason I'd choose to continue working in that environment.

This is the answer, 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP why do want the nanny to change clothes when arriving to work?

Nanny was in a car accident recently. At the moment, nanny is using Uber and Lyft, and I asked her to bring a change of clothes because I don’t want germs and etc from a car that’s being used as a taxi. Nanny was ok with my request at the beginning, now it seems she told everyone at the playground my simple request and it’s the newest gossip.

I don’t let my kids watch tv, use electronic and play on my phone period. Nanny was told my requirements at the beginning and she was ok. My husband is upset with me because he’s embarrassed that the nannies at the playground are talking about our family and etc.

[Anonymous]

Op crazy. All of you parents go to porn hub while at work. Nannies can go online too, not just you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP why do want the nanny to change clothes when arriving to work?

Nanny was in a car accident recently. At the moment, nanny is using Uber and Lyft, and I asked her to bring a change of clothes because I don’t want germs and etc from a car that’s being used as a taxi. Nanny was ok with my request at the beginning, now it seems she told everyone at the playground my simple request and it’s the newest gossip.

I don’t let my kids watch tv, use electronic and play on my phone period. Nanny was told my requirements at the beginning and she was ok. My husband is upset with me because he’s embarrassed that the nannies at the playground are talking about our family and etc.

She probably was fine with your requests but then the other nannies convinced her the requests were unreasonable bc I think the majority of parents do not limit cellphone use. I would think the no TV would be a common rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious if these were disclosed during the interview or if the nanny started and then you told them about those conditions.

Reasonable:
no shoes
no tv

Middle:
quiet when kids are napping - are you worried that they are going to play loud music or vacuum? They are home alone and can't watch TV, so how loud can they get?
No cellphone -- they should have cellphone on them at all times -- what if a kid had a medical emergency? What if you need to let them know something? Also, music for dances, looking up new projects for kids, sending you photos of cute things. I would say please don't be active on your phone while with the kids, but not allowed to have it at all? Not reasonable.


Not Reasonable
bring change of clothes to change once at work - if you want them to wear a uniform, provide that and have them arrive in work in it. But, why are you asking them to change
in your house?

My house is clean and no shoes is how, I keep it clean, change of clothes because nanny is taking Lyft to work due to a car accident recently, no cell because I want nanny full attention on kids, cellphone is ok when kids napping.

you are unreasonable. Does your Nanny take your kids out? parks/story time/open gym etc? Why do you assume Lyft is dirty? I think you need to take a look at yourself or kids are going to wind up messed up as well.