Nanny gave her notice due to unreasonable working conditions

[Anonymous]

OP it's very clear that something more is going on here. Changing clothes after a Lyft is just bizarre. I can't imagine picking out an outfit to ride to work in and then a second to change right into at work. Millions and millions of people take public transportation to work and it is absolutely not standard to change clothes when you arrive to work.

My guess is that was the straw that broke the camels back here. It sounds like you are a big time micromanager and most career nannies are seeking flexibility and autonomy, but more than that they seek trust and mutual respect. They want working with a family to be a collaborative effort balanced upon the nanny's experience and education and the family's (reasonable) framework.

If you are seeking to micromanage a nanny's personal and professional time, I would target a young college student who hasn't fully formed their owned childcare routines yet or who don't have enough experience to know any different. Pay them on the higher end of market rate for their experience and they should stick around if you are otherwise nice.

[Anonymous]

Crazy moms. The dad's are better. The lyft car is dirty just like your soul. I mean everything you touch...

I LAUGH SO HARD WHEN A MOM OR DAD SAYS "I don't let my kids watch TV or phone"

Hahaha YES YOU DO. Stop lying to yourself

[Anonymous]

Reasonable:
No tv
No shoes

Unreasonable:
No phone
Change clothes
Quiet when kids napping, it’s common sense unless you think the nanny is stupid

Are you a Foreigner by any chance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it's very clear that something more is going on here. Changing clothes after a Lyft is just bizarre. I can't imagine picking out an outfit to ride to work in and then a second to change right into at work. Millions and millions of people take public transportation to work and it is absolutely not standard to change clothes when you arrive to work.

My guess is that was the straw that broke the camels back here. It sounds like you are a big time micromanager and most career nannies are seeking flexibility and autonomy, but more than that they seek trust and mutual respect. They want working with a family to be a collaborative effort balanced upon the nanny's experience and education and the family's (reasonable) framework.

If you are seeking to micromanage a nanny's personal and professional time, I would target a young college student who hasn't fully formed their owned childcare routines yet or who don't have enough experience to know any different. Pay them on the higher end of market rate for their experience and they should stick around if you are otherwise nice.

College students are students. They don't work full time as nannies. A few hours after school or weekends? Sure--but not M-F 8-6 type hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP it's very clear that something more is going on here. Changing clothes after a Lyft is just bizarre. I can't imagine picking out an outfit to ride to work in and then a second to change right into at work. Millions and millions of people take public transportation to work and it is absolutely not standard to change clothes when you arrive to work.

My guess is that was the straw that broke the camels back here. It sounds like you are a big time micromanager and most career nannies are seeking flexibility and autonomy, but more than that they seek trust and mutual respect. They want working with a family to be a collaborative effort balanced upon the nanny's experience and education and the family's (reasonable) framework.

If you are seeking to micromanage a nanny's personal and professional time, I would target a young college student who hasn't fully formed their owned childcare routines yet or who don't have enough experience to know any different. Pay them on the higher end of market rate for their experience and they should stick around if you are otherwise nice.

College students are students. They don't work full time as nannies. A few hours after school or weekends? Sure--but not M-F 8-6 type hours.

Not always. There's plenty of college students that work during the day and take night classes. I was one of them. I nannied 35 hours per week and took night classes for 4 years during college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP why do want the nanny to change clothes when arriving to work?

Nanny was in a car accident recently. At the moment, nanny is using Uber and Lyft, and I asked her to bring a change of clothes because I don’t want germs and etc from a car that’s being used as a taxi. Nanny was ok with my request at the beginning, now it seems she told everyone at the playground my simple request and it’s the newest gossip.

I don’t let my kids watch tv, use electronic and play on my phone period. Nanny was told my requirements at the beginning and she was ok. My husband is upset with me because he’s embarrassed that the nannies at the playground are talking about our family and etc.

We employ a nanny. We made it clear our kids are not to watch screens and the nanny is not to let the kids play on the nanny's phone. But we would never dream of telling the nanny THEY can't use their phone. What if they're at the playground and need to call 911? What if they're heading to pick the kids up at school and run into traffic and need to call the school to say they're running late? What if they want to take a cute pic of the kids to send me? Or the kids get a rash and they want to send me a picture of it?

[Anonymous]

Your list is probably just the tip of the iceberg. The fact that you want her to change after being in a Lyft says a lot about you. I’m guessing you don’t even realize all the other issues. You are not going to be able to find a nanny that will be able to handle your standards. You should really look into a daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reasonable
no shoes, only socks or clean slippers
no tv
quiet while kids are napping

Not Reasonable
bring change of clothes to change once at work
no cellphone while at work

+1. Although I do think you should be able to set limits on the cell phone, though I’m not sure how. Our Au pair was always on hers, as was our summer nanny. I think young people (early 20s) are addicted to them.

[Anonymous]

I like older nannies

[Anonymous]

Why could you not offer to buy her a new pair of shoes/clean to only wear in the house? We are a no shoe house but we don't ask guests to remove their shoes. Some people are more comfortable in shoes vs. socks or slippers.

The no phone/tv is absurd when the kids are sleeping or if there is an emergency. You use yours during work hours. She should be allowed during nap break. If she has to be quiet during naps, what should she do? She cannot clean up, so that basically leaves phone/tablet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:House rules: no shoes, only socks or clean slippers, bring change of clothes to change once at work, and no tv or cellphone while at work, and Quiet while kids are napping. Is this unreasonable to ask a nanny or babysitter to follow? My husband said, I was in the wrong and etc.

I guess your husband was being diplomatic. You are crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:House rules: no shoes, only socks or clean slippers, bring change of clothes to change once at work, and no tv or cellphone while at work, and Quiet while kids are napping. Is this unreasonable to ask a nanny or babysitter to follow? My husband said, I was in the wrong and etc.

I did this during the height of the pandemic, stopped in the new year. MB can kma if she thinks I will go back to that. My laundry was insane!!!

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are worried about coivd/germs, go pick her up.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids? When I was a newborn care specialist, I would always bring a clean shirt at least if I had been anywhere other than my house/car en route to a shift. If your kids are old enough for park outings, they are too old for that level of germaphobia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP why do want the nanny to change clothes when arriving to work?

Nanny was in a car accident recently. At the moment, nanny is using Uber and Lyft, and I asked her to bring a change of clothes because I don’t want germs and etc from a car that’s being used as a taxi. Nanny was ok with my request at the beginning, now it seems she told everyone at the playground my simple request and it’s the newest gossip.

I don’t let my kids watch tv, use electronic and play on my phone period. Nanny was told my requirements at the beginning and she was ok. My husband is upset with me because he’s embarrassed that the nannies at the playground are talking about our family and etc.

Your husband is really actually truly upset because the nannie’s at the playground are talking about you?