Gave our nanny 2 week notice, and then she stopped coming to work. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Looking for advice. We hired our first nanny in January 2022. Since being employed with us, she has called out sick over 22 days. This is not counting her planned days off that we have provided PTO for, or paid holidays. We decided that we need more reliability, and have enrolled our child into preschool. Last Friday, we gave our nanny 2 week's notice, along with an offer to pay out her unused paid time off days (3) and one week of severance pay. In addition, we offered to be flexible around interviews if she needed to take some time off, and provided her a letter of recommendation to help serve as a positive reference for her.

Since we gave her notice, she came to work on Monday, took Tuesday off for an interview, and has now called in sick the last two days. We have no idea if she will come in tomorrow or not. Next week is incredibly stressful for us, as we have medical appointments that we need to be at. Given her lack of reliability this week (and honestly her entire employment with us), I am debating just firing her tomorrow if she does show up and plan for other childcare next week.

I want to fire her the next day that she comes in. I am so frustrated and feel like she abuses our flexibility and generosity. Do I tell her not to come in next week, and just give her the 1 week of severance and 3 days of unused PTO along with the days she worked this week? Would you feel obligated to honor the 2 week notice? Or would you renege on the severance and PTO payouts (neither are required in state of TN)?

I don't know what to do, but she is making it impossible for my husband and I to work, and I can't risk us losing our jobs over this.

[Anonymous]

“Fire” her right now. She isn’t coming back. Move on without her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for advice. We hired our first nanny in January 2022. Since being employed with us, she has called out sick over 22 days. This is not counting her planned days off that we have provided PTO for, or paid holidays. We decided that we need more reliability, and have enrolled our child into preschool. Last Friday, we gave our nanny 2 week's notice, along with an offer to pay out her unused paid time off days (3) and one week of severance pay. In addition, we offered to be flexible around interviews if she needed to take some time off, and provided her a letter of recommendation to help serve as a positive reference for her.

Since we gave her notice, she came to work on Monday, took Tuesday off for an interview, and has now called in sick the last two days. We have no idea if she will come in tomorrow or not. Next week is incredibly stressful for us, as we have medical appointments that we need to be at. Given her lack of reliability this week (and honestly her entire employment with us), I am debating just firing her tomorrow if she does show up and plan for other childcare next week.

I want to fire her the next day that she comes in. I am so frustrated and feel like she abuses our flexibility and generosity. Do I tell her not to come in next week, and just give her the 1 week of severance and 3 days of unused PTO along with the days she worked this week? Would you feel obligated to honor the 2 week notice? Or would you renege on the severance and PTO payouts (neither are required in state of TN)?

I don't know what to do, but she is making it impossible for my husband and I to work, and I can't risk us losing our jobs over this.

She has "fired' you.

[Anonymous]

I have a little bit of confusion OP on the amount of PTO days that your Nanny has.

Did she have more than 22 days of PTO?
You said that she has three days of PTO left.

So I guess what I am asking for clarification for are the twenty-two days that she missed this year.

I personally feel you should fire your Nanny.
She has not been reliable at all & does not seem to be taking her job as seriously as she should.
I would be hard-pressed to offer her ANY severance pay after such bad job performance.

If you feel generous - you can always pay out her PTO but I honestly do not think you owe her any more than the day(s) that she has already worked.

While I am sorry that you + your husband are dealing w/shoddy childcare > your Nanny probably feels awkward working after being given notice by you.
This is not an excuse for her behavior at all…..just perhaps the reason why she may not come back.
Plus would you really want your child in the care of a disgruntled Nanny?

I wish you luck w/preschool for your daughter.
Hope everything is a smooth ride from now on.

~ Signed,
A Nanny

[Anonymous]

You don't give severance when you're firing someone for cause. She's not coming back, OP. Change the locks if you have to.

[Anonymous]

Look for care for next week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't give severance when you're firing someone for cause. She's not coming back, OP. Change the locks if you have to.

This, you should have outright fired her for not being reliable. No need to do severance if she's calling out sick nor do you pay those days. You pay her for when she works.

[Anonymous]

Please do not write a letter of reference, or at least be honest. Please do not foist an unreliable, unprofessional nanny on to another family. If the families would be honest, then the nannies who are not suitable for this line of work would find something else. Only leaving the good nannies.

[Anonymous]

You already fired her, you going to do it twice just because you’re mad?

[Anonymous]

You can't take your kid to medical appointments? I always had a bunch of kids tagging along at medical appointments. You already fires your nanny, should have been prepared for her to not work out the two weeks. I would not stay two more weeks. I'd not come in the next day.

[Anonymous]

Years ago I did a share and got 2 weeks notice. We weren’t exactly parting on good term due to the parents and I honestly didn’t feel like showing up or working the last 2 weeks. I had checked out. Pretty much my last two weeks kids just sat in crib all day unless being changed/fed while I looked for another job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Years ago I did a share and got 2 weeks notice. We weren’t exactly parting on good term due to the parents and I honestly didn’t feel like showing up or working the last 2 weeks. I had checked out. Pretty much my last two weeks kids just sat in crib all day unless being changed/fed while I looked for another job.

-1

This is just awful PP.
Why should the child suffer with negligent care just because you had checked out?
I could never neglect a child just because I didn’t get along with the parents.

I hope you are out of the Nanny profession now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please do not write a letter of reference, or at least be honest. Please do not foist an unreliable, unprofessional nanny on to another family. If the families would be honest, then the nannies who are not suitable for this line of work would find something else. Only leaving the good nannies.

+1. either no reference or be honest and describe how she called sick 22 days in 7 months in addition to PTO and holidays. people pay $$$$ for a nanny because they need to work, be at the office, at the hospital or wherever they work otherwise they lose their jobs. things happen and a nanny can get sick like eveyrbody else but 22 days in 7 months plus PTO and holidays means she is simply not reliable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Years ago I did a share and got 2 weeks notice. We weren’t exactly parting on good term due to the parents and I honestly didn’t feel like showing up or working the last 2 weeks. I had checked out. Pretty much my last two weeks kids just sat in crib all day unless being changed/fed while I looked for another job.

Statements like these are why some parents decide to put up cameras.

[Anonymous]

You did something OP. A happy nanny stays. Pay her, be fair. Don't be a resentful woman, looks ugly