Nanny wanting to bring her child
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Anonymous
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Have you ever had a nanny bring her child?
We interviewed a few candidates and two want to bring their children, one has a child that is toddler age and the other candidates child is a teenager. It raises more questions than answers for us. We offer our nanny lunch, would we need to provide food for their child too? For the younger child, am I supposed to provide a place for them to nap? A high chair? What if the nanny needs to use the bathroom? We only have one pack and play and I’m not sure where an older toddler could go. Our son is 13m and does have a few friends who we have play dates with here and there so the socialization piece isn’t sold on us, I’m not sure my son would be up for 8+ hours of socializing with another child. From parents, what has been your perspective on the benefits? |
Anonymous
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I would be concerned about the teenager because they really don’t need parenting during the day so this tells me that the teen just needs supervision which would make me wonder: why?
For the toddler, there are all the cons you think of: your kid has to share, you have to have a place to sleep, maybe a double stroller, more wear and tear, your kid’s nap schedule may have to adjust to accommodate everyone napping and getting outings each day, etc. But the big pro is that nannies who find a position like this are incredibly loyal. So if you really want someone to stick with you until your kids go off to school often a nanny who brings her child will be that person. And you can sometimes pay less but some nannies seem to expect their normal rate too. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn’t do it unless money was really an issue. THe only upside is the cheaper nanny. |
Anonymous
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I assume the teenager is only for the summer - and teen like 13 or 17? I can see not wanting to leave a middle school kid home all day. And with limited camp options, it would be reasonable to want to bring kid. Same on teacher work days, snow days, things like that. The kid would probably not need too much - they would sit on coach and play games, read, go for walk. Our nanny did that same weeks in the summer. When the pool was open, it was nice to have the daughter as a second set of eyes on the kids.
Toddler would be less desired since it would be managing two schedules not one. |
Anonymous
| Toddler option is better since child would have a playmate. kids don't really 'play' together at this age and most of time just ignore each other but other times it's more fun. Nanny probably has her own pack-n-play, etc. |
Anonymous
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I would never do this - especially not with a nanny with a toddler. Not for any amount of savings. The nanny will treat your child second to her own - that’s just maternal nature. Your child will be number 2 in his/her own home. So unfair to your baby.
If I absolutely couldn’t afford it otherwise, I’d go with the nanny with the teenager. |
Anonymous
| I would never allow it. I want my nanny focused on MY kids. I'd just pick someone else. |
Anonymous
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I'm the nanny. I was with my nanny family full time for 3 years before I got pregnant. When I had my daughter, I took 6 weeks off and came back with my daughter in tow for 2 more years til the kids went to school full time. I kept a pack n play, diapers, wipes, and some toys in their guest room during the week. On Fridays I would fold up the pnp and tuck everything under the guest bed. Once my daughter was a toddler I brought her food from home (and I always brought my own).
I would say the pros for them were flexibility on my end. I didn't have to pick my daughter up from daycare so I could stay late when needed. We redid the contract and agreed if nanny kids were sick I'd still care for them. If my daughter was sick, she was still welcome to come or my husband would take the day off or my MIL would watch my daughter. FWIW I never took a single day off work during my entire pregnancy and time I brought my daughter. My daughters needs always came last while at work. I always went above and beyond and was insanely loyal to them. |
Anonymous
I wonder what that does to a toddler's psyche - to know they're less important to their mother during the bulk of their waking hours than the children she is paid to take care of. |
Anonymous
| Pp, she never said her daughter is less important. She said, she makes sure the children she gets paid to care for are made a priority. |
Anonymous
| No, just no. |
Anonymous
Right, and how do you think that makes her child feel? Somebody else's children always get her mother FIRST. |
Anonymous
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We did and it was amazing. The "nanny" was a certified early childhood educator who had quit her teaching job to take care of her own child. The kids were within 6 mos of each other. It was essentially a high-quality ECE program in our house.
The caregiver brought a pack and play, a high chair and a double stroller to our house. I'm sure she used the bathroom every day, but I never asked her about how she handled it because she was a pro and I trusted her. I will never stop feeling grateful for having bungled into this setup. Find the right caregiver. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't. |
Anonymous
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If you have the financial means to afford it OP, I would select a Nanny who does not need to bring along another child to work everyday.
Reason being is that your child will not receive 100% attention from their caregiver. Also consider all the extra wear + tear on your home as well as the extra germs that will exist. In times of a pandemic, this is a very serious thing to consider as your entire family could be affected. |