Nanny wanting to bring her child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect to pay 1/2 if your child was coming with you and taking up 1/2 or more of the attention.

It's not a nanny share; nanny can't make her own schedule, take off whenever, etc. if that's the case then I expect the nanny to only care and interact with the child; no cooking, no washing child's dishes, no laundry etc.

It is basically a nanny share. " Professionals" don't bring their kids to work. Someone who does shouldn't expect the family to pay the same rate as attention is shared. If your nanny is taking 20 minutes to breastfeed each time, possibly 3 times a day that is an hour devoted to the one child. I would expect a nanny to keep the common areas she uses clean, cook for the child, clean up after the child and do the child's laundry and maintain their bedroom.

Most nannies who bring their child and breastfeed can do it while doing something else simultaneously...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be concerned about the teenager because they really don’t need parenting during the day so this tells me that the teen just needs supervision which would make me wonder: why?

For the toddler, there are all the cons you think of: your kid has to share, you have to have a place to sleep, maybe a double stroller, more wear and tear, your kid’s nap schedule may have to adjust to accommodate everyone napping and getting outings each day, etc. But the big pro is that nannies who find a position like this are incredibly loyal. So if you really want someone to stick with you until your kids go off to school often a nanny who brings her child will be that person. And you can sometimes pay less but some nannies seem to expect their normal rate too.

The thing is that loyalty is good only if it is coming from the person you care about. That's why positions like this typically happen after a nanny has been with the family for a while and the family is certain they want to keep her. You don't have that knowledge with a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

In Maryland would this fall under the nanny share rules that previous posters on this forum have stated are not allowed? I’ve had nannies ask the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect to pay 1/2 if your child was coming with you and taking up 1/2 or more of the attention.

It's not a nanny share; nanny can't make her own schedule, take off whenever, etc. if that's the case then I expect the nanny to only care and interact with the child; no cooking, no washing child's dishes, no laundry etc.

It is basically a nanny share. " Professionals" don't bring their kids to work. Someone who does shouldn't expect the family to pay the same rate as attention is shared. If your nanny is taking 20 minutes to breastfeed each time, possibly 3 times a day that is an hour devoted to the one child. I would expect a nanny to keep the common areas she uses clean, cook for the child, clean up after the child and do the child's laundry and maintain their bedroom.

I bring my child to work. The children are twin 4yr olds. I am paid well, treated well and the 4 yr olds are well taking care of; we participate in walks, learning activities, water play, cooking experiments, etc. I also cook their lunches (and not just peanut butter and jelly), clean their dishes, keep our areas tidy, cut out projects etc., all while I have my 9 month old breastfed baby with me. I don't do their laundry because they have maids that come for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In Maryland would this fall under the nanny share rules that previous posters on this forum have stated are not allowed? I’ve had nannies ask the same.

No. One child is with their mother, therefore paid caregiver laws don’t apply. The other child is being cared for in their own home, so they are abiding by the law.

[Anonymous]

I've had my nannies bring their kid or dog with them for emergency situations.

It doesn't work. Every comment becomes a thorn. You can't give your kid a piece of candy without offering one to the other kid and maybe your nanny doesn't want her kid eating all that sugar. Every single thing becomes a mountain. That's even before you get to the "will the nanny treat her kid better when I'm not around" problem which you will never get an answer to.

I would never arrange it so it's an every day thing. Sounds like a complete nightmare.

And good nannies who take their job seriously would not ask either. Do you ask if you can bring your kid to your office? No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had my nannies bring their kid or dog with them for emergency situations.

It doesn't work. Every comment becomes a thorn. You can't give your kid a piece of candy without offering one to the other kid and maybe your nanny doesn't want her kid eating all that sugar. Every single thing becomes a mountain. That's even before you get to the "will the nanny treat her kid better when I'm not around" problem which you will never get an answer to.

I would never arrange it so it's an every day thing. Sounds like a complete nightmare.

And good nannies who take their job seriously would not ask either. Do you ask if you can bring your kid to your office? No way.

How does bringing your own child determine you aren't a "good" nanny? I agree, it doesn't work for everyone, especially when you have parents in the home who have to listen to another child fuss or throw tantrums. There are situations where moms do bring their children to office jobs btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had my nannies bring their kid or dog with them for emergency situations.

It doesn't work. Every comment becomes a thorn. You can't give your kid a piece of candy without offering one to the other kid and maybe your nanny doesn't want her kid eating all that sugar. Every single thing becomes a mountain. That's even before you get to the "will the nanny treat her kid better when I'm not around" problem which you will never get an answer to.

I would never arrange it so it's an every day thing. Sounds like a complete nightmare.

And good nannies who take their job seriously would not ask either. Do you ask if you can bring your kid to your office? No way.

Why were you out and giving your child candy when nanny was working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had my nannies bring their kid or dog with them for emergency situations.

It doesn't work. Every comment becomes a thorn. You can't give your kid a piece of candy without offering one to the other kid and maybe your nanny doesn't want her kid eating all that sugar. Every single thing becomes a mountain. That's even before you get to the "will the nanny treat her kid better when I'm not around" problem which you will never get an answer to.

I would never arrange it so it's an every day thing. Sounds like a complete nightmare.

And good nannies who take their job seriously would not ask either. Do you ask if you can bring your kid to your office? No way.

How does bringing your own child determine you aren't a "good" nanny? I agree, it doesn't work for everyone, especially when you have parents in the home who have to listen to another child fuss or throw tantrums. There are situations where moms do bring their children to office jobs btw.

Very very few jobs allow kids in the office. That is not professional. I don't know where you work in a professional job in a professional building but I've never seen it. Usually it is only the boss. If you are applying to a job as a professional, you need to have child care. That is why people hire nannies and nannies who have their own kids should be professionals and have child care for their kids. If they can find a job that allows it great, but many families are not ok with it for many reasons.

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny and 9 years ago, as a single mother and a nanny, I was interviewing with the intent of leaving my then 5 month old with my parents while I worked. It wasn’t until I interviewed with a family with a child 2 months younger that the thought crossed my mind. I presented the idea to them, and offered them a lower hourly rate. They loved it and to this day, 9 years later, the boys are best friends and call each other brothers. I was their nanny for 7 years.

Now with 12 years under my belt, I would not ask to bring my child with me. There is a sense of professionalism lost. I would only consider it if I had extenuating circumstances and would definitely expect a paycut. Works for some and can be great, my previous employer would certainly agree, but definitely has to be the right person and best if their child is similar age to yours.

[Anonymous]

Many otherwise nannies have kids at home right now.

[Anonymous]

OP the questions you raise are the easy ones, in the sense there are many small logistical details but you can just work through them with the nanny. For example on food you can just ask and maybe nanny will say she will bring food for her kid, and with bathroom my nanny would take my toddler with her. The tough questions are about whether your nanny would be able to multitask well/show favoritism, if the kids get along, etc. it’s hard to start with a new nanny who brings a child as opposed to a long time nanny who has a child and starts bringing her infant. In the latter case your nanny already has an existing bond with the kids and knows their needs/personalities, and you likely have at least one older child who would be able to give you signs if the nanny’s behavior changes drastically. With a new nanny it is much tougher and you might be second guessing all the time whether the nanny is neglecting your child or it’s a normal adjustment.
At the very least I would ask the nanny to do a trial with her child coming along. Individual child behavior probably trumps any general pros/cons of different ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t do it unless money was really an issue. THe only upside is the cheaper nanny.

This. You get what you pay for. We have never been willing to have a nanny bring their child (we have actually only hired nannies without children). Our old nanny had a baby recently and is having trouble finding a job where someone will allow her to bring the baby, but this is possibly because she doesn’t seem willing to discount her rate. If you want a cheaper nanny, then find one who wants to bring their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never do this - especially not with a nanny with a toddler. Not for any amount of savings. The nanny will treat your child second to her own - that’s just maternal nature. Your child will be number 2 in his/her own home. So unfair to your baby.

If I absolutely couldn’t afford it otherwise, I’d go with the nanny with the teenager.

You're an idiot but a nanny would resent more the fact that she has to pay for her child to be cared for by someone else due to your inability to be impartial and alwsys favor your own child.

Another child is good for social interaction for many reasons. If I liked her and her references were good, I would hire her and I would not deduct from her hourly rate for bringing her own child. This would be a loyal nanny who would be worth her weight in gold

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had my nannies bring their kid or dog with them for emergency situations.

It doesn't work. Every comment becomes a thorn. You can't give your kid a piece of candy without offering one to the other kid and maybe your nanny doesn't want her kid eating all that sugar. Every single thing becomes a mountain. That's even before you get to the "will the nanny treat her kid better when I'm not around" problem which you will never get an answer to.

I would never arrange it so it's an every day thing. Sounds like a complete nightmare.

And good nannies who take their job seriously would not ask either. Do you ask if you can bring your kid to your office? No way.

People have brought their babies to the office when their nanny was sick and then tried to hand kid off to clerical employees. HR put a stop to that immediately. However, all female employees with children spend a grest deal of time talking to their nanny or their kids or taking off early or coming in late because of their kids. Male employees never do this which is why employers, obviously, prefer to hire men.