Nanny gift

[Anonymous]

Our toddler just started full time preschool after being at home with our wonderful nanny for several years. She has been so loving to him and I can tell she is a little sad. We would love to get her a nice gift as a thank you for being so great to him over the years - what can we give her? I know money is always nice, but she is the kind of person that will appreciate a gesture that's not just a gift card.

Additional info: she is still with us and will (hopefully) be caring for our younger child full time for the next several years, and we already gave her a raise.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to give her anything. She will still see the older kid sometimes.

[Anonymous]

If she is staying with you, then maybe a gift certificate to a spa, nice bottle of wine, gourmet food/dessert, gift certificate to a nice restaurant, an extra vacation day (paired with the spa would be lovely), etc. When she leaves permanently, it is customary to give a week’s pay for every year worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is staying with you, then maybe a gift certificate to a spa, nice bottle of wine, gourmet food/dessert, gift certificate to a nice restaurant, an extra vacation day (paired with the spa would be lovely), etc. When she leaves permanently, it is customary to give a week’s pay for every year worked.

So if she's with us for 5 years, we need to give her $5K? Ouch... we're pretty stretched with preschool and nanny cost.

[Anonymous]

My former charge gave me a bracelet with “thank you for helping me grow” inscribed inside. It is my most cherished piece of jewelry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is staying with you, then maybe a gift certificate to a spa, nice bottle of wine, gourmet food/dessert, gift certificate to a nice restaurant, an extra vacation day (paired with the spa would be lovely), etc. When she leaves permanently, it is customary to give a week’s pay for every year worked.

So if she's with us for 5 years, we need to give her $5K? Ouch... we're pretty stretched with preschool and nanny cost.

That’s the typical severance, yes. Many families do not withhold taxes and pay the net of that, though it is illegal to do so. If you plan ahead, this shouldn’t be an issue. If you cannot afford 54 weeks pay (annual bonus and a week toward her final severance), then how can you afford 52 weeks per year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My former charge gave me a bracelet with “thank you for helping me grow” inscribed inside. It is my most cherished piece of jewelry.

It’s sweet, but not something I’d ever wear. And I am a minimalist, so I really don’t want that sort of stuff sitting around. An elegant photo book of the years together is nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is staying with you, then maybe a gift certificate to a spa, nice bottle of wine, gourmet food/dessert, gift certificate to a nice restaurant, an extra vacation day (paired with the spa would be lovely), etc. When she leaves permanently, it is customary to give a week’s pay for every year worked.

So if she's with us for 5 years, we need to give her $5K? Ouch... we're pretty stretched with preschool and nanny cost.

She gave you peace of mind and excellent care of your child for five years. This is worth a million dollars! Give up your daily Starbucks and vacation. She EARNED this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is staying with you, then maybe a gift certificate to a spa, nice bottle of wine, gourmet food/dessert, gift certificate to a nice restaurant, an extra vacation day (paired with the spa would be lovely), etc. When she leaves permanently, it is customary to give a week’s pay for every year worked.

So if she's with us for 5 years, we need to give her $5K? Ouch... we're pretty stretched with preschool and nanny cost.

She gave you peace of mind and excellent care of your child for five years. This is worth a million dollars! Give up your daily Starbucks and vacation. She EARNED this.

There IS no daily Starbucks and we haven't had a vacation since we had kids. All our money goes to bills. The money would have to be a 401K loan or something.

This actually makes me think maybe we need to let her go next year and not in 2 years, so that we can afford her severance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is staying with you, then maybe a gift certificate to a spa, nice bottle of wine, gourmet food/dessert, gift certificate to a nice restaurant, an extra vacation day (paired with the spa would be lovely), etc. When she leaves permanently, it is customary to give a week’s pay for every year worked.

So if she's with us for 5 years, we need to give her $5K? Ouch... we're pretty stretched with preschool and nanny cost.

That’s the typical severance, yes. Many families do not withhold taxes and pay the net of that, though it is illegal to do so. If you plan ahead, this shouldn’t be an issue. If you cannot afford 54 weeks pay (annual bonus and a week toward her final severance), then how can you afford 52 weeks per year?

We live paycheck to paycheck right now. That's how.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is staying with you, then maybe a gift certificate to a spa, nice bottle of wine, gourmet food/dessert, gift certificate to a nice restaurant, an extra vacation day (paired with the spa would be lovely), etc. When she leaves permanently, it is customary to give a week’s pay for every year worked.

So if she's with us for 5 years, we need to give her $5K? Ouch... we're pretty stretched with preschool and nanny cost.

She gave you peace of mind and excellent care of your child for five years. This is worth a million dollars! Give up your daily Starbucks and vacation. She EARNED this.

There IS no daily Starbucks and we haven't had a vacation since we had kids. All our money goes to bills. The money would have to be a 401K loan or something.

This actually makes me think maybe we need to let her go next year and not in 2 years, so that we can afford her severance.

Sure. Daycare is fine. You sound like a typical daycare parent. If your nanny is that great, she’ll have no trouble finding another job.

BTW, I don’t agree with the severance posted above but I loathe your threats and have completely changed my previously good opinion of you.

[Anonymous]

Omg STOP telling people to give their nanny a week of severance for every year. I’ve *never* received that or heard of anyone receiving that, except for on this board where nannies supposedly make $50/hour for one kid and no chores and they get ten weeks paid vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is staying with you, then maybe a gift certificate to a spa, nice bottle of wine, gourmet food/dessert, gift certificate to a nice restaurant, an extra vacation day (paired with the spa would be lovely), etc. When she leaves permanently, it is customary to give a week’s pay for every year worked.

So if she's with us for 5 years, we need to give her $5K? Ouch... we're pretty stretched with preschool and nanny cost.

She gave you peace of mind and excellent care of your child for five years. This is worth a million dollars! Give up your daily Starbucks and vacation. She EARNED this.

There IS no daily Starbucks and we haven't had a vacation since we had kids. All our money goes to bills. The money would have to be a 401K loan or something.

This actually makes me think maybe we need to let her go next year and not in 2 years, so that we can afford her severance.

Sure. Daycare is fine. You sound like a typical daycare parent. If your nanny is that great, she’ll have no trouble finding another job.

BTW, I don’t agree with the severance posted above but I loathe your threats and have completely changed my previously good opinion of you.

These aren't "threats" - who am I threatening? This is an anonymous forum. I want to do right by my excellent nanny. If we have to take out a 401K loan to do right by her, then we clearly can't afford to keep her as long as we planned! We are already stretched thin.

Deep breaths, ok? I don't really care what you like or "loathe". Not even going to dignify the "daycare parent" thing. You need anger management.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg STOP telling people to give their nanny a week of severance for every year. I’ve *never* received that or heard of anyone receiving that, except for on this board where nannies supposedly make $50/hour for one kid and no chores and they get ten weeks paid vacation.

OP here. I haven't spent any time reading these forums and your response makes me think I came to the wrong place for advice...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg STOP telling people to give their nanny a week of severance for every year. I’ve *never* received that or heard of anyone receiving that, except for on this board where nannies supposedly make $50/hour for one kid and no chores and they get ten weeks paid vacation.

OP here. I haven't spent any time reading these forums and your response makes me think I came to the wrong place for advice...

Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s not accurate. It’s also not mandatory, but most professions offer a week to a month of severance when being laid off, it is not some crazy DCUM theory. That being said, I’m guessing your nanny knows that she’s working for a lower middle class family and would not expect it. And I am in NO way shaming you for your income, but you should start putting money away for her severance now, even if it is only two weeks pay, which should be the BARE minimum.

To the PP who called OP a daycare parent, shaming parents who use daycare is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself.