Nanny gift

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg STOP telling people to give their nanny a week of severance for every year. I’ve *never* received that or heard of anyone receiving that, except for on this board where nannies supposedly make $50/hour for one kid and no chores and they get ten weeks paid vacation.

OP here. I haven't spent any time reading these forums and your response makes me think I came to the wrong place for advice...

Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s not accurate. It’s also not mandatory, but most professions offer a week to a month of severance when being laid off, it is not some crazy DCUM theory. That being said, I’m guessing your nanny knows that she’s working for a lower middle class family and would not expect it. And I am in NO way shaming you for your income, but you should start putting money away for her severance now, even if it is only two weeks pay, which should be the BARE minimum.

To the PP who called OP a daycare parent, shaming parents who use daycare is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Two, even three weeks we could manage. 5-6 weeks' pay isn't doable for us.

I'm not sure how this derailed to severance! She's been with us for over two years, she's not leaving but staying to care for our just-born baby #2, we gave her a raise. And yes, she knows we are stretching to afford her. We just want to get her some kind of thank you gift as our eldest transitions to preschool!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is staying with you, then maybe a gift certificate to a spa, nice bottle of wine, gourmet food/dessert, gift certificate to a nice restaurant, an extra vacation day (paired with the spa would be lovely), etc. When she leaves permanently, it is customary to give a week’s pay for every year worked.

So if she's with us for 5 years, we need to give her $5K? Ouch... we're pretty stretched with preschool and nanny cost.

She gave you peace of mind and excellent care of your child for five years. This is worth a million dollars! Give up your daily Starbucks and vacation. She EARNED this.

There IS no daily Starbucks and we haven't had a vacation since we had kids. All our money goes to bills. The money would have to be a 401K loan or something.

This actually makes me think maybe we need to let her go next year and not in 2 years, so that we can afford her severance.

Sure. Daycare is fine. You sound like a typical daycare parent. If your nanny is that great, she’ll have no trouble finding another job.

BTW, I don’t agree with the severance posted above but I loathe your threats and have completely changed my previously good opinion of you.

These aren't "threats" - who am I threatening? This is an anonymous forum. I want to do right by my excellent nanny. If we have to take out a 401K loan to do right by her, then we clearly can't afford to keep her as long as we planned! We are already stretched thin.

Deep breaths, ok? I don't really care what you like or "loathe". Not even going to dignify the "daycare parent" thing. You need anger management.

NP here and yes you made definite threats. You threatened to let your nanny go a year earlier because you didn’t like the severance one person suggested. As if that would scare her. A good nanny can always find a better job.

And what would you do with your baby when you let your nanny go a year early except daycare?

Honestly your rebuttal bugged me too and I’m an MB.

[Anonymous]

I think a check or two of her weekly pay is just fine and maybe throw in a bottle of wine and/or a gift card of some sort or thank you card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg STOP telling people to give their nanny a week of severance for every year. I’ve *never* received that or heard of anyone receiving that, except for on this board where nannies supposedly make $50/hour for one kid and no chores and they get ten weeks paid vacation.

OP here. I haven't spent any time reading these forums and your response makes me think I came to the wrong place for advice...

Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s not accurate. It’s also not mandatory, but most professions offer a week to a month of severance when being laid off, it is not some crazy DCUM theory. That being said, I’m guessing your nanny knows that she’s working for a lower middle class family and would not expect it. And I am in NO way shaming you for your income, but you should start putting money away for her severance now, even if it is only two weeks pay, which should be the BARE minimum.

To the PP who called OP a daycare parent, shaming parents who use daycare is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Two, even three weeks we could manage. 5-6 weeks' pay isn't doable for us.

I'm not sure how this derailed to severance! She's been with us for over two years, she's not leaving but staying to care for our just-born baby #2, we gave her a raise. And yes, she knows we are stretching to afford her. We just want to get her some kind of thank you gift as our eldest transitions to preschool!

It is wrong of you to keep her when you cannot afford her! Stay home or put your kid in day care. You are living beyond your means and this is pure stupidity!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is staying with you, then maybe a gift certificate to a spa, nice bottle of wine, gourmet food/dessert, gift certificate to a nice restaurant, an extra vacation day (paired with the spa would be lovely), etc. When she leaves permanently, it is customary to give a week’s pay for every year worked.

So if she's with us for 5 years, we need to give her $5K? Ouch... we're pretty stretched with preschool and nanny cost.

She gave you peace of mind and excellent care of your child for five years. This is worth a million dollars! Give up your daily Starbucks and vacation. She EARNED this.

There IS no daily Starbucks and we haven't had a vacation since we had kids. All our money goes to bills. The money would have to be a 401K loan or something.

This actually makes me think maybe we need to let her go next year and not in 2 years, so that we can afford her severance.

Sure. Daycare is fine. You sound like a typical daycare parent. If your nanny is that great, she’ll have no trouble finding another job.

BTW, I don’t agree with the severance posted above but I loathe your threats and have completely changed my previously good opinion of you.

These aren't "threats" - who am I threatening? This is an anonymous forum. I want to do right by my excellent nanny. If we have to take out a 401K loan to do right by her, then we clearly can't afford to keep her as long as we planned! We are already stretched thin.

Deep breaths, ok? I don't really care what you like or "loathe". Not even going to dignify the "daycare parent" thing. You need anger management.

NP here and yes you made definite threats. You threatened to let your nanny go a year earlier because you didn’t like the severance one person suggested. As if that would scare her. A good nanny can always find a better job.

And what would you do with your baby when you let your nanny go a year early except daycare?

Honestly your rebuttal bugged me too and I’m an MB.

I'm confused by this "scare" and "threaten" thing. I've never had this conversation with my nanny and don't plan on having it. I didn't even realize the expectation of a week's pay for every year severance thing until I started this thread yesterday. So how could I possibly be threatening someone? If we can't afford to give our nanny a proper severance, I would rather let her go a little early when it's still in the realm of affordable, and end the relationship on a good note, rather than give her less than she deserves and offend her. I don't know why everyone is up in arms.

Sorry, I'm not one of those people who demonizes daycare. I see nothing wrong with it. So "typical daycare parent" isn't an insult to me, even though PP and you mean it as one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg STOP telling people to give their nanny a week of severance for every year. I’ve *never* received that or heard of anyone receiving that, except for on this board where nannies supposedly make $50/hour for one kid and no chores and they get ten weeks paid vacation.

OP here. I haven't spent any time reading these forums and your response makes me think I came to the wrong place for advice...

Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s not accurate. It’s also not mandatory, but most professions offer a week to a month of severance when being laid off, it is not some crazy DCUM theory. That being said, I’m guessing your nanny knows that she’s working for a lower middle class family and would not expect it. And I am in NO way shaming you for your income, but you should start putting money away for her severance now, even if it is only two weeks pay, which should be the BARE minimum.

To the PP who called OP a daycare parent, shaming parents who use daycare is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Two, even three weeks we could manage. 5-6 weeks' pay isn't doable for us.

I'm not sure how this derailed to severance! She's been with us for over two years, she's not leaving but staying to care for our just-born baby #2, we gave her a raise. And yes, she knows we are stretching to afford her. We just want to get her some kind of thank you gift as our eldest transitions to preschool!

It is wrong of you to keep her when you cannot afford her! Stay home or put your kid in day care. You are living beyond your means and this is pure stupidity!

Right, that's what I said. We will let her go early, give her severance, and put the baby in daycare.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't rush into daycare based on something someone wrote on an anonymous forum. Do you have close friends with nannies? Ask them.

I already chimed in, but I've been a nanny in this area for many years. I have never known a nanny to receive that large of a severance.

If I were in her position, I'd rather more time with a family I mesh with and kids I adore versus ending a job early because of a financial situation. Yes, money matters, but only to a point.

[Anonymous]

I would give her a surprise massage at a nice spa and the rest of the day off. As far as severance when that time comes, we gave our nanny two weeks bonus for the 2 years She worked with us. Had she been with us longer we probably would have gone up to a month of pay for severance. It would have been a sacrifice but we would have done it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give her a surprise massage at a nice spa and the rest of the day off. As far as severance when that time comes, we gave our nanny two weeks bonus for the 2 years She worked with us. Had she been with us longer we probably would have gone up to a month of pay for severance. It would have been a sacrifice but we would have done it.

Thank you! I like the spa idea - I know she likes having her nails done so a spa gift cert would be appreciated!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, don't rush into daycare based on something someone wrote on an anonymous forum. Do you have close friends with nannies? Ask them.

I already chimed in, but I've been a nanny in this area for many years. I have never known a nanny to receive that large of a severance.

If I were in her position, I'd rather more time with a family I mesh with and kids I adore versus ending a job early because of a financial situation. Yes, money matters, but only to a point.

Thank you. We do have friends with nannies but none that have lasted for years... doesn't hurt to ask though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give her a surprise massage at a nice spa and the rest of the day off. As far as severance when that time comes, we gave our nanny two weeks bonus for the 2 years She worked with us. Had she been with us longer we probably would have gone up to a month of pay for severance. It would have been a sacrifice but we would have done it.

A two week bo us for two years. Your generosity is underwhelming! You should have give her at least a month's pay.

[Anonymous]

A week per year is a good rule of thumb (and a starting point for companies that do layoffs assuming they’re not in terrible financial health), but part of the rationale for a severance is to cushion the blow from an *unexpected* job loss. Do what you can monetarily and make up for the difference with some combo of a long notice period, flexible time off in the last few weeks to interview, and help with finding a new position (post on mom groups, write a rec letter, return reference calls promptly).