Overweight Au Pair - Pros and Cons
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Anonymous
| We have been interviewing several au pair candidates for weeks, and we have narrowed it down to two au pairs who want to match. The one we like the best, however, is overweight, and I am wondering if anyone has had experience having an au pair who is oveweight? She weighs slightly over 200 pounds and is 5'4". She has worked as a camp counselor, and has a great personality, but our two boys are very active and energetic (ages 7 and 11) and strong willed, and I wonder whether she could keep up with them. She seems up for the challenge. I have had several experienced AP host moms say not to match with an overweight au pair beacuse they have less energy, don't model healthy eating habits, etc. Wondering if that is the case? the other au pair is normal weight, but doesn't seem to have as much charisma. |
Anonymous
| I'm fat and keep up with my kids no problem. |
Anonymous
|
I used to weigh 220 at 5’4”, up until 2018.
Was more active than my boys at around the same ages. Look at the overall picture, not just her weight. I had a very overweight au pair for my first. She wasn’t sporty or active and would often plan activities on the ground or sitting, but was an amazing cook and my kids really liked her. She was creative I other ways. |
Anonymous
| Considering that adult obesity is an epidemic in this country, we should check with overweight parents... |
Anonymous
This makes no sense whatsoever. What does this have to do with an overweight au pair? |
Anonymous
| OP here. We like her. That isn’t the issue. We have interviewed about 10 candidates and she is in our final 2. I am just wondering if anyone has had experiences good or bad. Our last au pair was thing and was terrible and ended up getting sent home! Obviously during the interview and matching process, the girls are trying to impress and say what they think HF wants to hear. If she was 5’9 and 200 pounds I wouldn’t be as worried. But at 5’4” that’s pretty heavy. |
Anonymous
| I'll say. I am also 5'4". I weigh 140 and am trying so so hard to lose that last 20 pounds of pregnancy weight. ugh, I feel disgusting. I cannot imagine being 200 pounds! That's what my 6' tall husband weighs! |
Anonymous
|
There are a some cons to fat APs that we experienced.
One is if you go in a vehicle that the kids and ap cannot all fit in easily. This is even harder when kids are in car seats. The other we experienced was actually on amusement park rides that our ap could not fit in - especially for kids rides. Our new ap ended up crying for like 2 days out of embarrassment for not fitting into a few little kid rides that we went on when she could not fit. Our kids were younger back then, but now that they are into sports we do not match with out of shape male or female APs. |
Anonymous
How nice. I weigh over that and don't feel disgusting. |
Anonymous
| FFS. |
Anonymous
Do you think fat parents are not great with their kids? |
Anonymous
| It sounds like OP's question is really related to can an overweight AP keep up with active kids. The answer is that it depends. Some overweight APs can and others can't. If you are looking for someone who take hours long likes, ride bikes, play basketball, etc. during summer, I'd really outline what a typical day looks like. Some thin nannies can't keep up with that level of activity with really active kids. Some activities APs might be able to monitor without being involved, but others would require active involvement. What level of physical activity has AP done with kids before? I would trust your gut if you think she's up to the challenge. |
Anonymous
|
I am overweight now at 40 and I was overweight at 19, when I was an AP. While I was not as heavy as the candidate you are considering (5'7", probably 165/170 pounds back then) I can just say that I was able to keep up with four sporty and energetic kids easily. I also lost about 20 pounds during my year (mostly running after the 1 year old all day though). I was still active at 220 pounds twenty years later, not as active as I was at 19 but I guess most people aren't.
I agree with a PP, look at the overall picture. How active is she during her daily life at the moment? Is she doing sports (at 19 I was dancing ballet twice a week, went canoeing every weekend, biked to and from school and played handball - I was still overweight... due to a thyroid issue my parents never got treated when I was younger). If you are worried about her eating habits, have you asked her what she likes to eat and how she eats? This could easily be a two-way street - she could also learn from you. I learned so much from my HF about family dynamics (I am an only child, grew up with a single mom), when I was back home I always said I wanted to be just like them when I grew up and raise kids just as great as theirs. She may be able to keep up with your kids easily. She may not. But thin(ner) APs might face the same problem. I have had thin friends who could barely walk up two flights of stairs or bike for more than half an hour. Weight is not the only indicator for activity. |
Anonymous
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We had a very large AP but rematched for other reasons. We thought she was probably a bit chubby but when she arrived she looked about 50 lbs heavier than we thought. So, know that she might appear 200 lbs but really be much higher than that.
Our large AP had some unusual but not horrible habits. She would take out slices of bread, crush them into a ball, and eat them from her hands like little dumplings. 4-5 at a time before meals. About a loaf per day. She also frequently lectured us about nutrition (we are fit and relatively healthy eaters, so I wasn't sure how to react or what to say in response to the lecture). If I went down this path again I would ask a lot more about attitudes toward food, snacking, other people eating, etc. |
Anonymous
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5’6” and 250 pounds here. I regularly take my nanny kids on 2-3 mile hikes, while babywearing the toddler for long stretches. We play kickball at the park after school, ride bikes, do yoga and go swimming. Ask her what she likes to do with kids. Not “how can you keep our boys active” but “how do you spend your time with kids?”
I also feed my nanny kids better than anyone I know. They eat a wide variety of fruits and veggies and minimal sugar or empty calories. Ask her to give you a sample meal plan of some breakfasts, lunches, snacks and dinners she might prepare for the kids. |