Au pair arriving in three weeks and we may be selling our house

[Anonymous]

At the time we matched, we didn’t expect to be making an immediate change in our housing situation. However: turns out we are suddenly in the middle of negotiating on an offer on a different house. The tricky part: we’d have to list our house for sale the week before the au pair will arrive. And, we probably can’t take occupancy of the new place for about five or six months months after we’d sell our current house (if we’re able to sell reasonably quickly). So, we’d likely be in a rental scenario for a handful of months. So au pair’s year would be (1) current house for 2-4 months; (2) rental for 5-6 months; (3) new place as of month 9.5-10 of her au pair year.

If course all of this depends on whether our offer is accepted and whether we can sell our current place quickly and whether the new place can become available for occupancy any earlier. We have zero certainty right now! That said - if our offer is accepted, what do we need to do in terms of letting the agency know or informing the au pair at this point? We’d make sure we have a room for her wherever we are, but it would definitely be a year with a lot of transition happening.

Before anyone suggests we wait to buy, or wait to sell, or plan to move into the potential new place faster: complicated backstory but there are reasons we have to do it this way (it’s not convenient for any of us, so we’d do it differently if it made any sense to do so).

Thanks in advance for any insights!

[Anonymous]

You need to reach out to the LCC and agency ASAP. Your rental has to be checked out, same as your current house, then the new house as well. Also, you need to talk to the AP and make sure they’re ready to handle it. How old are your kids and how far are these moves?

[Anonymous]

It will be difficult to predict how yourAP will handle moving several times during her year, even if you tell her now and she’s says, in theory, that it will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to reach out to the LCC and agency ASAP. Your rental has to be checked out, same as your current house, then the new house as well. Also, you need to talk to the AP and make sure they’re ready to handle it. How old are your kids and how far are these moves?

Kids are between 6.5 and and 12. All moves are very local (within 5 miles, maybe up to 8 or 10 if it’s harder to find rental). No change to schools or general area. New house is about 1.5-2 miles from current.

Au pair is 24 years old and seems pretty mature but I understand it would be a lot of change!

[Anonymous]

You may want to offer some kind of bonus if she makes it through the year. Like, if she remains through the year, she gets 1000 or 1500 bucks. Something extra, bc you're asking a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to reach out to the LCC and agency ASAP. Your rental has to be checked out, same as your current house, then the new house as well. Also, you need to talk to the AP and make sure they’re ready to handle it. How old are your kids and how far are these moves?

Kids are between 6.5 and and 12. All moves are very local (within 5 miles, maybe up to 8 or 10 if it’s harder to find rental). No change to schools or general area. New house is about 1.5-2 miles from current.

Au pair is 24 years old and seems pretty mature but I understand it would be a lot of change!

Ages of kids and same schools/friends will make it much, much easier!

AP can take kids to the park while you pack, move and unpack, but other than helping pack up her room and kids’ things. But general household pack up is not her job, nor is general unpacking. To make sure everything is aboveboard, she may agree to have her vacation weeks for the week of each move, but you’d have to make sure she’s okay with it now, not later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to reach out to the LCC and agency ASAP. Your rental has to be checked out, same as your current house, then the new house as well. Also, you need to talk to the AP and make sure they’re ready to handle it. How old are your kids and how far are these moves?

Kids are between 6.5 and and 12. All moves are very local (within 5 miles, maybe up to 8 or 10 if it’s harder to find rental). No change to schools or general area. New house is about 1.5-2 miles from current.

Au pair is 24 years old and seems pretty mature but I understand it would be a lot of change!

Ages of kids and same schools/friends will make it much, much easier!

AP can take kids to the park while you pack, move and unpack, but other than helping pack up her room and kids’ things. But general household pack up is not her job, nor is general unpacking. To make sure everything is aboveboard, she may agree to have her vacation weeks for the week of each move, but you’d have to make sure she’s okay with it now, not later.

Great idea about vacation weeks. We would definitely NOT expect her to do general packing. Just her own belongings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You may want to offer some kind of bonus if she makes it through the year. Like, if she remains through the year, she gets 1000 or 1500 bucks. Something extra, bc you're asking a lot.

+1
You should also give her a heads up. If you go into a rematch during all this there is a low chance of you finding another ap until you are in your new home; so make sure this one can handle the turmoil.

[Anonymous]

People move all the time. The agency is used to it as well. They definitely need to know where she is and check out the home. She must have her own room -- rules apply even in short terms.

She can help pack/unpack up the kids things, but not the general house. She can watch the kids while you move.

I think you should think about bonuses, but I think 1000 is a bit much. But... It may be wise to say, we know this will be a lot to handle and we plan a bonus at the end of the year when we have made it through the moves. Maybe toss her an extra week vacation or something if you can swing it?? I would not tell her a total amount of money up front. Your not sure if she is a unicorn or a dud just yet.

Another idea... small bonuses when she helps out -- gift cards for starbucks or target or something. Or lots of cultural activities so she feels like she is getting something good in exchange for the pain. Moving is stressful for everyone.

Also, will your temporary place be near the new home? She may fear losing friends with each move so a liberal use of car policy in the area around the moves would be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for telling her.

During selling your home, it will have to be SPOTLESS and tidy. Is she a tidy person and OK with strangers looking in her room?

If it were me, as soon as you know you have to put your house on the market, I'd move to the rental to avoid stress and stuff. And I've sold two homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another vote for telling her.

During selling your home, it will have to be SPOTLESS and tidy. Is she a tidy person and OK with strangers looking in her room?

If it were me, as soon as you know you have to put your house on the market, I'd move to the rental to avoid stress and stuff. And I've sold two homes.

Rental would be $4-$5K/month. Plus new payment on new place. Plus existing payment on existing place. So, we may not be able to jump to the next spot just for the convenience of doing so.

[Anonymous]

Do you have to move into the rental or can you go straight into the new place? That would help a lot, if possible.

Here's the deal -- the situation is stressful for everyone, but you have to do what you have to do.

Be prepared to possibly go into rematch and/or if you really like her, offer a bonus with each move to help keep her focused on the long-term. That might be worth it for your sanity during the moves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another vote for telling her.

During selling your home, it will have to be SPOTLESS and tidy. Is she a tidy person and OK with strangers looking in her room?

If it were me, as soon as you know you have to put your house on the market, I'd move to the rental to avoid stress and stuff. And I've sold two homes.

Rental would be $4-$5K/month. Plus new payment on new place. Plus existing payment on existing place. So, we may not be able to jump to the next spot just for the convenience of doing so.

Live-in nanny here. Having just gone through 6 months of showings, with 30 minutes to make the house spotless and get multiple children out? I totally agree with PP. if it’s not possible, AP and children should not be home at all during windows of time the house might be shown, and if that means paying for things for her/them to do, so be it.

[Anonymous]

I’d hold off on your ap - it will be more of pain for you than it is worth. You can rent a smaller place and will not have to deal with rematch; which is very likely.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I just sent Au Pair a long email explaining situation. I’ll wait to see what she says.

Kids are all school age so house is empty (but for dog) every weekday from 8-3:00, and we can pretty easily find afternoon activities as needed.

Still, I’d prefer to push it back, but don’t want to get off to a really rough start with agency for matching and then bailing out right before she’s supposed to arrive.