Does this make me a horrible employer?

[Anonymous]

I’m wondering if I’m an a-hole for doing this.

We’ve had our nanny for 3 months now and all the while I’ve tried to find reasons to keep her because she does a phenomenal job in every way except, I can’t stand her!

She came highly recommended and has a child development degree.
When we hired her, we did mention we wanted someone who could “take charge”, but boy, oh, boy -take charge she did!

She doesn’t need to be told what to do, she gets things done. Is engaged with DC. Has play dates with other nannies.
She has taught us a trick or two. She is not useless but her personality makes me want to drink a bottle or two of some good red wine before we even talk.

Basically she’s a know it all. I mentioned something about tomatoes and she made it a point to say “actually they’re considered a fruit, due to how they mature!”.....

Or she will try to discuss with DH about the latest discussion in his profession, or interpret data from a medical journal he gets. I mean, I get it she wants to have something to talk about besides poopy pants or show how smart she is but we don’t care about that


Anyways, how big of an a-hole would I be if I were to fire her because we’re not a good fit due to personality clashes? She seems to think we get long. I just put up a good face.
Has anyone ever done this? Please make me feel better. I already feel terrible about even thinking of doing this but for my sanity ...

[Anonymous]

Of course you can fire whoever you want. This nanny is capable and seems to be hard working. You might not get so lucky next time.

[Anonymous]

Just don't complain that your next nanny can't do anything without being told, doesn't show enough initiative, can't solve problems on her own, is insufficiently engaged, etc. No one's perfect.

Personally, I'd deal with it, unless she's straight-up ignoring your wishes on stuff, because you don't spend that much time with her, so you can just suck it up in exchange for someone who take phenomenal care of your child.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. Your child will absorb the personality traits of this person they are spending so much time with. It’s not fair to anyone involved to basically train your kid to annoy you.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here:::


Let her go then.

[Anonymous]

OP can't stand that her nanny is more educated than she is??

[Anonymous]

OP needs to put her child’s needs before her own in this case. The nanny doesn’t need to be the mother’s favorite person.

Why isn’t this selfish mother just grateful that her child is so well cared for?

[Anonymous]

Nanny here: your home, your child, your sanity (peace of mind), your decision! I would want to at least be comfortable with the person who is in my home and taking care of my kid. And there are good Nannies out there - you can find someone who meshes better with you and who also is engaged with your child.

[Anonymous]

The grass is not greener on the other side. There is not a 100% perfect person for you out there. You can get a new Nanny who will have other quirks or try and focus in what u like about her.

[Anonymous]

Yeah you’re an a**hole, neurotic and obviously insecure that your nanny is educated. You also seem resentful that she is more than what your idea of a nanny actually should be. You are small minded and honestly shouldn’t be employing anyone educated. You need a nanny that you can feel superior too. Let her go and find someone you can mesh better with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah you’re an a**hole, neurotic and obviously insecure that your nanny is educated. You also seem resentful that she is more than what your idea of a nanny actually should be. You are small minded and honestly shouldn’t be employing anyone educated. You need a nanny that you can feel superior too. Let her go and find someone you can mesh better with.

Well said. And yes, op IS a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP needs to put her child’s needs before her own in this case. The nanny doesn’t need to be the mother’s favorite person.

Why isn’t this selfish mother just grateful that her child is so well cared for?

I agree completely. OP needs to put her child’s wellbeing above her own comfort. It’s about the kid - not the mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Your child will absorb the personality traits of this person they are spending so much time with. It’s not fair to anyone involved to basically train your kid to annoy you.

Beyond ridiculous post. Personality traits are inborn. OP needs to do what is best for her child - not her own comfort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Your child will absorb the personality traits of this person they are spending so much time with. It’s not fair to anyone involved to basically train your kid to annoy you.

Beyond ridiculous post. Personality traits are inborn. OP needs to do what is best for her child - not her own comfort.

Are you kidding? Kids absorb so much from caregivers. For example: anxiety disorders are inheritable, but there is strong evidence that kids raised by parents and caregivers who allow them to take risks and teach emotion management from a young age reduce their risk of developing the same anxiety disorders of their parents. Nature and nurture are BOTH factors and a full-time caregiver can have a lot of influence. My nanny charges over the years have absorbed everything from my accent to my sense of humor to conflict-resolution strategies. If their parents dislike me they should hire a different nanny.

[Anonymous]

OP here:

I don’t care that she’s educated.

We wanted someone who is.

What I don’t like is her insecure *need to correct*
everything attitude.

I get that she’s smart, but smart doesn’t have to mean annoying.

I guess I’m not the type to correct people when they say something misinformed and I found it odd she doesn’t waste time trying to show you why you’re wrong?..

Not to say she hasn’t been wrong, I just didn’t go out of my way to point it out