Does this make me a horrible employer?

[Anonymous]

Oh my nanny had a little bit of this. She was very into herbal remedies and home cures for things and anti gmo and most medicine for herself (not anti vax though). I just stopped talking to her about it. And ignored when she mentioned that I really need to buy organic avocados. It was not worth to get into an argument or discussion. She was amazing with our infant daughter and they had a wonderful bond and my kid was too little to pick up any of this. She was with us until SD went to preschool at 2.5 but I hope she comes back for baby #2 later this year.

[Anonymous]

Face it. You are jealous. Fire her and hire a $15/hr nanny who will give you a lot to complain about but you won't be jealous because she is a zillion times smarter than you.

[Anonymous]

I read your post on “Be The Best Nanny” on Facebook & see that you are receiving very similar responses like on here.

And that forum is not anonymous!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah you’re an a**hole, neurotic and obviously insecure that your nanny is educated. You also seem resentful that she is more than what your idea of a nanny actually should be. You are small minded and honestly shouldn’t be employing anyone educated. You need a nanny that you can feel superior too. Let her go and find someone you can mesh better with.

Hi OP's nanny!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah you’re an a**hole, neurotic and obviously insecure that your nanny is educated. You also seem resentful that she is more than what your idea of a nanny actually should be. You are small minded and honestly shouldn’t be employing anyone educated. You need a nanny that you can feel superior too. Let her go and find someone you can mesh better with.

Hi OP's nanny!!

Not OPs nanny you silly person.

Why would her nanny come on here and tell her to fire them.

[Anonymous]

If she's taking great care of your kids, the transition to a new person might be difficult for them and you might have bigger issues next time unfortunately. You don't have to be best friends with your nanny. If she is otherwise wonderful, just limit communication that isn't about the kids. Gently tell her that you are pressed for time and need a daily report at the end of the day, and then she can be on her way. If you're working from home, tell her you're too busy and only have time to talk about kid related things. If she starts to annoy you, say "thank you, I have to go this, this and this now". It's no different than dealing with an annoying coworker.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why you are standing around chatting so much? How does she even have the opportunity to talk about tomatoes and medical journals? I think you are driving this behavior more than you understand. She sounds like a good employee. Just wrap up the day and say goodbye.

[Anonymous]

Our very friendly, very chatty nanny drives my introvert spouse bananas. Our children love her and he sucks it up. As should you. She's not there to be your friend.

[Anonymous]

You do what is in the best interest of your child. Grow up, OP. This is not about you or your comfort.

[Anonymous]

NopE. Totally fair. You're the employer.

I'm actually dealing with a similar issue, except ours is a live-in. So there's no escaping. She drives us nuts because she talks too much. Ditto on know-it-all syndrome and adding two, three, and twenty-fine cents unnecessarily.

We have a loquacious nanny. She's great in most other ways, but the talking is seriously out of hand. Think: wind up doll that talks and talks and talks.

Don't get me wrong, I fully recognize how fortunate and blessed we are as a family to afford this set up. But last week I chewed out the nanny for the 50-11th time for talking too much. This came about because she said she felt unappreciated because I don't listen to her.

My response went something like this:

"Well...you're onto something Sherlock. I am, in fact, NOT LISTENING TO YOU. Why? Because you talk too damn much. And I have been telling you that on regular intervals for several years. I'm not sure why on this day, you feel differently. To the extent that you're not communicating an emergency or information that I need to know, bet on me giving zero Fs."

Granted I often remind her bout the talking, like in the first 30 and 90-days that she was hired. This is now 3 years ago. I just tell her directly. Someotimes more politely than others. But on this occasion, I addressed her in a rare way by underlining the employment-only relationship that we have. So, no, I am not going to listen to tales and stories that should be reserved for your friends.

And hers the rub, we provide a nice package, stability and lifestyle. There are plenty of employers who may want a conversation partner. It's just not us. If she leaves, we will figure out how to survive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
NopE. Totally fair. You're the employer.

I'm actually dealing with a similar issue, except ours is a live-in. So there's no escaping. She drives us nuts because she talks too much. Ditto on know-it-all syndrome and adding two, three, and twenty-fine cents unnecessarily.

We have a loquacious nanny. She's great in most other ways, but the talking is seriously out of hand. Think: wind up doll that talks and talks and talks.

Don't get me wrong, I fully recognize how fortunate and blessed we are as a family to afford this set up. But last week I chewed out the nanny for the 50-11th time for talking too much. This came about because she said she felt unappreciated because I don't listen to her.

My response went something like this:

"Well...you're onto something Sherlock. I am, in fact, NOT LISTENING TO YOU. Why? Because you talk too damn much. And I have been telling you that on regular intervals for several years. I'm not sure why on this day, you feel differently. To the extent that you're not communicating an emergency or information that I need to know, bet on me giving zero Fs."

Granted I often remind her bout the talking, like in the first 30 and 90-days that she was hired. This is now 3 years ago. I just tell her directly. Someotimes more politely than others. But on this occasion, I addressed her in a rare way by underlining the employment-only relationship that we have. So, no, I am not going to listen to tales and stories that should be reserved for your friends.

And hers the rub, we provide a nice package, stability and lifestyle. There are plenty of employers who may want a conversation partner. It's just not us. If she leaves, we will figure out how to survive.

Live-in vs live-out. I would absolutely hate your house. It's fine to have an employer-employee relationship with a live-out nanny. But a live-in nanny is also a housemate.

[Anonymous]

Not quite. A housemate pays a share of the bills. In contrast, a nanny gets paid to make employers' lives easier. Here it sounds like the poster's nanny is beginning to make life more difficult. If I were the employer, I would be looking around for a new nanny. And if I was that nanny, I'd be lining up my next gig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not quite. A housemate pays a share of the bills. In contrast, a nanny gets paid to make employers' lives easier. Here it sounds like the poster's nanny is beginning to make life more difficult. If I were the employer, I would be looking around for a new nanny. And if I was that nanny, I'd be lining up my next gig.

Nope. Family doesn’t necessarily pay bills. Friends may not share bills. Nannies are also not responsible for their employers’ bills. A housemate is literally someone cohabitation in your house, and a certain amount of consideration and discussion should be expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My response went something like this:

"Well...you're onto something Sherlock. I am, in fact, NOT LISTENING TO YOU. Why? Because you talk too damn much. And I have been telling you that on regular intervals for several years. I'm not sure why on this day, you feel differently. To the extent that you're not communicating an emergency or information that I need to know, bet on me giving zero Fs."

How do you plan to convince your children that people are usually interesting and deserve our engagement and consideration when you treat the person who takes care of them all day like this?