Host dad hit on AP and still allowed to host?

[Anonymous]

I am not in the DC area but follow this forum for info and advice.

Our AP told us that an acquaintance AP who she hung out with a few times was in rematch because when the host mom and kids were out of town, the host dad took AP out to a bar to listen to live music and proceeded to get her drunk and put his hand on her thigh in the Uber. When they got home, AP went immediately to her room to call LCC and the host dad started texting her that he knew she was interested in him, come to my room, etc. AP called LCC and LCC called host dad and AP left in an Uber.

The whole thing is a WTF story but the worst part? Thefamily didn’t get kicked out of the program. They are getting another AP!! What does it take to get kicked out? Murder???

[Anonymous]

Yes, we are in a #Metoo culture. But without some proof of a story that your AP’s friend’s told your AP who told you?

Mind your own business.

[Anonymous]

I am not sticking my nose in their business, I am horrified that the agency isn’t kicking them out though.

Our AP said that the LCC was skeptical of the story herself until AP sent her a screen shot of the texts. So she was immediately blamed but then vindicated.

I wouldn’t want my daughter living with this family. ????

[Anonymous]

so you heard this 3rd hand? hmmm.

you either let it go.
or seek justice. ask AP to have rematch come over to discuss, and offer your help. ask her to see (with your own eyes) the text messages from the dad. then confront agency with it and demand that it is put in the records and that host family is removed.

otherwise this is just a rumor

[Anonymous]

I posted the above.
I say this as a 6 year host mom who has heard amazing dramas from my APs and their friends over the years. For the first couple years I was very concerned about some APs and offered my help to them directly, and while asking questions came to learn that the real story was usually not quite as dramatic as the first telling was. or there were several other untold pieces.

So, I've learned to take many AP stories with a grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

If this really happened, and the LCC saw text message corroborating AP's accusations, then the agency would have removed the HF asap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this really happened, and the LCC saw text message corroborating AP's accusations, then the agency would have removed the HF asap.

Not true. I know a similar story and also saw the screen shots.

[Anonymous]

So the AP went to a bar with host dad when family was out of town?
Did she not refuse?

[Anonymous]

Holy moly. I cannot believe the victim blaming and lack of believing the victim in this thread. Why are you all on the side of the host dad? Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy moly. I cannot believe the victim blaming and lack of believing the victim in this thread. Why are you all on the side of the host dad? Gross.

Because with the information (and lack of information) provided, it seems like the "story" is overblown because the agency did not remove the host family from the program.

Our contract explicitly forbids (even consensual) sexual relationships with APs. It is hard to believe when an agency does nothing, as the OP claims, that the actions were mild or of debatable interpretation even with the "proof" of texts.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I asked our AP tonight if she had seen the texts and she said she had. I admit I have not seen it. She said it said something like:
Will you please come and talk to me
I’m sorry for what happened in the car, we were having so much fun and I thought you wouldn’t mind
You’re so beautiful

He didn’t assault her, he touched her leg and made her uncomfortable. Feels predatory to me. So I guess it wasn’t illegal but it just seems wrong that they now have some other poor girl in their house who has no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy moly. I cannot believe the victim blaming and lack of believing the victim in this thread. Why are you all on the side of the host dad? Gross.

Probably because they have slime bag husbands themselves and this has struck a nerve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I asked our AP tonight if she had seen the texts and she said she had. I admit I have not seen it. She said it said something like:
Will you please come and talk to me
I’m sorry for what happened in the car, we were having so much fun and I thought you wouldn’t mind
You’re so beautiful

He didn’t assault her, he touched her leg and made her uncomfortable. Feels predatory to me. So I guess it wasn’t illegal but it just seems wrong that they now have some other poor girl in their house who has no idea.

I am shocked that a host dad would be stupid enough to text "you're so beautiful" therefore it is very hard to believe without you seeing it yourself. You are getting 3rd hand info. And we are getting 4th hand info. After you see the texts for yourself, you can report back.

[Anonymous]

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life about men it’s that some of them are so blinded by getting a piece of a$$ that they will do all sorts of stupid stuff and not consider the consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life about men it’s that some of them are so blinded by getting a piece of a$$ that they will do all sorts of stupid stuff and not consider the consequences.

[phone]

This right here. I'm personally dealing with a situation in which a man aggressively pursued me and I am being asked what I did to make it happen. Maybe AP shouldn't have gone out with the HD, maybe we should go through life assuming all men are only talking to us for sexx and we shouldn't build relationships with male neighbors, colleagues, bosses in case they mistake our intentions as sexual. Is that the answer? Anyway, I'm Team AP. The family should have been booted.